www.storymania.com
Storymania Logo

 

 

Children - Reviews




Short Stories - Reviews
Poetry - Reviews
Novels - Reviews
Plays - Reviews
Screenplays - Reviews
Songs - Reviews
Non-Fiction - Reviews
Essays - Reviews
Foreign - Reviews
Reference - Reviews
Children Reviews
Genres - Reviews

Henna And The Coloured Pencils by Amarjit Bhambra (1)


The Need To Be Heard by Dawn Matley Maselli (4)
"Very nice...check for typo's though :)" -- mattie.
"I like this poem. I like line a chance to flower and flower great job." -- Jeanette H.
"It nice to read poems from the eyes of other woman, good work. please feel free to read my poem on "I hate the things that l Love". " -- Amy, London, uk.
"It nice to read poems from the eyes of other woman, good work. please feel free to read my poem on "I hate the things that l Love". " -- Amy, London, uk.


Jan's Mysterious Adventure by Allison Joseph (1)
"great " -- izhar, mumbai, maharashtra, india.


The Traffic Light Song by Rebecca L Eckerdt (4)
"This is cute!! " -- Mitch.
"Wow short and to the point." -- Jeanette H, Spring Hill , Fl , Hernado.
"i think that will teach kids a good things" -- Vanessa A, cleburne, Tx, us.
"The yellow seems unnecessary, for they are only for motorists." -- Abracadabra, Hong Kong, China, Hong Kong.


Franklin And The Brussel Sprouts by W Rasheed Mzwritebyme (1)
"Nice!" -- Gene Boris.


Jessica And Harry In The Magic Jungle by John Roberts (7)
"Good story, with some excellent but subtle learning points for chidren. Would stand on it's own well with some illustrations as a childrens title." -- sam howe.
"Thank you for your comments Sam. I do have an illustrated version, but I couldn't find any way of adding it here? It is also strange that the story doesn't display unless you click on the title?" -- John Roberts, UK.
"I tried to review your story four times nothing came up? Rena" -- Rena Erickson.
"Rena - You have to click on the 'Title' above to get the story to display - I dont know why it is like this ? John" -- John Ronberts.
"i must be liking this story " -- asma, hail, hail, saudiarab.
"oooooooh i am sooooooo excited" -- asma, karachi, sindh, Pakistan.
"Great story Mr Robert. Can expand it into a book. Keep it up." -- Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar, Singapore.


Cheese For Me' Crackers by Jack M Brown (2)
"Hey Jack, nice story! I like it because its short, for one. Cannot really read 10,000 stories on line! It's very funny as well. I'm going to show it to my 12 year old daugther. I think she'll like it too. Thanks!" -- Jersey Mike, Belgium.


Tickle Bugs by Elizabeth Burnett (1)
" I don't see how bugs tickle? sorry... perhaps, headlice? or something??? I just don't get the conscept? sorry! I think you have a good idea!!! about,the tickling. 'But, not not Bugs!' "They itch!" " -- Rena Leanne Erickson.


Tommy Tumbleweed. by Nathaniel A Miller (3)
"Well,now that was refreshing. That's a new twist. I liked that. Knowing you said it was "unfinished" I found my self nearing the end (at the fence) thinking, "oh, I hope granma didn't end her story here." I think it would make a great children's story. The story really "rolls" right along and the ending is delightful. SMCK" -- Stephanie Mckinney.
"A FITTING END FOR TOMMY TUMBLEWEED. I LIKE IT. TO BAD HE COULDN'T TAKE GRANNY WITH HIM." -- GLORIA.
"Very enjoyable story! Brought me back to very fond memories of my childhood and Building a Huge fort all made out of tumble weeds!Would make a great childrens picture book!" -- Leah Ellingsworth, Dallas, Or, usa.


The Present by Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar (8)
"I love your story, keep up the goodwork. Your know your mother and you know her truthful ways. Iff you keep up the good work you can become our future writer. It took me over 30 years to get my work published and i feel and get great joy in knowing that my work is being read by other people. To tell you the truth l did enjoy writing in class, even though i used to hate reading and writing, but if one puts their minds to it, you can acheive alot from it. And that is satisfaction." -- Amy, Hayes, Middlesex, England.
"i love sam hes lovly and i want to marry him and have his kids" -- sami warmer, norwich, norfolk, england.
"I find that ur stories are very interesting. I love ur colourful words and phrases. Maybe you will succeed best as an author. Good luck and all the best." -- Siti Humaira, Woodlands, Singapore.
"hey kid,u're hot stuff.at 12,the sky is ur beginning!" -- kennedy, delta state, nigeria.
"I am impressed with your writing... Fluently written with a personal touch...You have a way of turning an ordinary event into something extraordinary! Keep up the fabulous effort. May your creative juices flow fast and furious!!! :)" -- nonpareil3_2000.
"Hello! I am Yana, and I am 14 years old. I like writing, and I want to be an author." -- Yana, Rancho Cordova, CA, USA.
"The whole picture and frame of the story was perfect. Keep up the good work!=]" -- Cherie, Singapore.
"I liked the story a lot.One reason is that is a real story of a small girl with very warm feeling to wars her mother,the other is that I've found this story as the most positive and kindest story among those she suggested.You do have a talant of writing.I wish you keep doing it and be seriously published one day.Good luck! " -- Elena Kravtsova, Nikolaev, Ukraine.


Dr. Kitty's Adventures At The Movies by Tom River (1)
"you happen to be my new favorite person." -- katie, puyallup, wa.


The Tooth Fairy by Narinder Bhambra (1)
"my story" -- RIDA, n.knoi, puntgtgd, pakistahuh.


Spiral Suzy by Rose Raposo (2)
"This has good detail and imagination! I found some slight typos,easily fixed with revision. I'd like to see where you go with this!" -- christine.
"I read this story and enjoyed very much.It shows that your imagination has no boundaries.Keep writing anyway." -- Aziez Jahan Siyarzai, Mianwali, Pakistan, Punjab.


The Happy Happy Kids Who Liked To Play And Stuff by Tom River (1)
"strange...but I get the analogy. I thought it could have been a little longer but it was good" -- e. rocco caldwell.


The Treasure by CarineC (4)
"Wonderfull story! Formatting could be alittle tighter but a fine piece of work here!" -- Monte.
"The story's great!CarineC has done a great job.Three cheers for her and The Treasure!It is one of best imaginative pieces I have ever read." -- Bidisha, India.
"Excellent topic! Well done in under a thousand words!" -- c pIFER, JAX, FL, USA.
"You have a potentially very powerful story. The ending needs more impact - it needs to be more of a surpise about Luke being the new boy's father. May I suggest a book by William Zinsser titled "On Writing Well". Zinsser can help you create that unexpected revelation that will surprise and delight your readers." -- Alan Jeans, Seeley Lake, MT, USA.


Fairy Tale Country by KumarR (1)
"Not bad at all" -- Jason, howard beach, Newyork, USA.


Tak The Cat by Elboc Noj (1)
" This is cute! " -- Rena Leanne Erickson.


Coach B & The Soccer Misfits The Genie's Curse by Chauncey Brummell (1)
" This is humorous. This has broad appeal for all the soccer buffs out there,I enjoyed it!" -- Christine.


Dr. Kitty's Mexican Adventure by Tom River (5)
"That was funny.. but a bit deranged. But funny nonetheless." -- C.C. Hefburn.
"You my friend are a bit fked in the head. What the hell is your story about! it has no plot whatsoever and it is very distasteful. having said that youi must see a rehab officer. LSD is bad for you. On a good note i think a story explaining this one would be rather interesting reading and i'd look foward to it. Also why is it in the childrens section when it talks of Macaulay Caulkin fking Saddam Hussein in it? Hardly suitable for children which is hardly suitable for your target audience of kids. " -- Mental Asylum Worker, ENGLAND.
"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS? its funny but has no plot all it is a bunch of famous stars skrewing each other and staring at nude pictures. this should not be in the kids section" -- Clayborne Veltross.
"Tat wudaff da heezy fo' sheezy. Deudda deezy a neezy zall, ''Breezy, you's gotstada zeezy?'' Eyezall, ''Fo' shizzle dizzle. Iggitybe fo'twiggity o'cliggity. Ziggity fo' miggity tuh schmiggity wiggitybe giggitybe fo' yiggities tree.'' " -- Seve Balesteros, Berlin, Berlin, Germany.
"i...absolutely love it. spongbob is jesus, and conan o'brien is the anti-christ. love it love it love it" -- Katie, puyallup, wa.


Memoirs From The Thanksgiving Season by Christina Aspears (9)
"I was told by a friend of yours, Patrick Collins, that you might be interested in receiving reviews of your work. If this is so I can offer suggestions of a decent site where this takes place, if you are open to it. " -- JA St. George.
"Ok, the name of the site is Writer's BBS, which can be find at www.writersbbs.com. You can use the site, but in order to post you need to register. Registration is free, and no spam will be delivered to your email. Registration is pretty simple and straight-forward, but any questions and you can contact me directly at [email protected] and I will lead you through it step-by-step or however much you require. I trust you will find a world of difference between the BBS site and Storymania, which take care of two entirely different things. I'm assuming you want to improve your work, and not just show it off, if so then the BBS will be invaluable. Assuming you have a free email account with a carrier such as hotmail, yahoo, or freemail it won't be accepted. If this is the case then go http://writers-home.mail.everyone.net to sign up. You can then use this new email address to get through the registration process, but you'll need to keep that email address active if you wish to continue logging into the WBBS system. Not that difficult to do, you may actually end up thanking me for the trouble I might have to put you through if your current email address is invalid. Don't worry, this doesn't mean you need to give up your current email address, you'll just have an extra one. Be sure to contact me once again at [email protected] to tell me if registration was successful, and then I'll guide you through the system. Many newbies get lost on the site when they first encounter it, but after a week it becomes old hat, and I have several testimonials that it is actually easier and better to navigate then this site, so hence no worries. Just so you'll see what you'll be getting, I'll be doing a critique of the first story you placed here "Ancient Egypt" both on the Storymania board and the WBBS board so you'll be able to tell the difference. Once I'm done I'll put both the link to the WBBS critique, and the Storymania critique of the piece both in the Reviews of your story "Ancient Egypt." Keep in mind also that my reviews won't be the only you'll receive at the WBBS site, there is a high volume of knowledgable and helpful writers there as well who will help your work to become the fullest it can be, whereas reviews upon the Storymania site are scarce at best due to the display nature of the site, and indepth critiques on the Storymania site are practically unheard of. I wish you the best Christina. " -- JA St. George.
"At the moment of this writing, I am at work, but before the day is out I'll have done the review of "Ancient Egypt." I'd also like to correct what I said above, in assuming it to be a story, I now know it is an essay." -- JA St. George.
"I have no doubt you will find the review that can be done on the Storymania site for that article will have a stark contrast compared to the reviews that can be done on the WBBS. I can't wait to show you." -- JA St. George.
"Everything that you write (especially about your childhood)makes me smile on even the cloudiest of days Chris." -- Collins, in, in, us.
"Writing is about experience and writing about our lives makes that experience so much more real! I liked this story simply because it reminds me of growing up and the certain memories I hold now...like the sond Both Sides Now by Joni Mitchell. I loved this." -- e. rocco caldwell.
" I remember my grandmother in the same way! Nicely reinerated. It is so important to make your reader think and that's what you did!" -- christine.
"A very touching tribute, it really gives you an idea of how important family is." -- Kyle.
"Be leary of anyone who wants money or account subscriptions to review, post, represent or publish your work. Lots and lots of scams in the writers world." -- Patrick Fell.


Little White Bunny by Erickson (5)
"sooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!" -- Michelle.
"Thank you Michelle!" -- Rena Leanne Erickson.
"This is so sweet with good rhyme, would be an adorable "baby" board-book! I'm new here and would apprieciate your opinion on my stories 'Moonie The Moon Moth', 'Imagine If' or 'The Dogs Dress Up For Halloween' Thank you . Good work!" -- christine.
"Very cute indeed!" -- Tessa.
" I want my name taking off your website!!!!!!! tonight" -- Rena Leanne .


Cookies Are Not For Dragons by Jose R G Abue (1)
"This is very original. " -- Steven.


The Lead Pencil by Emma Dix (3)
"would you believe it, that i am also working on a short story regarding a talking pencil!. We must me using our imagination, and must be writer alike. " -- A bhambra, Hayes, Great Britain, Middlesex..
"ha your posted all of the net you must be famous" -- hayleigh , adelaide, south australia, australia.
"Don't we all wish we were famous. For the past say 18 years - my work was sent off to the editors to be published and l must say l never had any hassle from them - Net is different you are connected in a different way and l must say that l am hooked on the net. It save me the postage stamps anyways! Its a wonderful way to be connected with other writters - Like your goodselve." -- Amy, Hayes, UK.


My Cotton Angel by Ivonne Le�n Vonchyta (1)
"Nice message for children. Unique spin on your story. Nice job!" -- christine .


Abby's Korean Christmas by Janice Porter Hayes (1)
"I found this story well-written and thoughtful. I spent much of my childhood in South Korea and I too learned that CHristmas and the Christmas spirit can be found in the most unusual places" -- Peni Cohen.


My Brother's Passing by Buchanan Street (1)
"Magnificent! I would sugest some more thought shots. When somebody says something to your main character how does it make her feel? Another thing is just add in a little more senses. Smell, sight, touch, taste...but other wise I was very jelous of your diverse and sophisticated work for such smalll age! jk..but really i enjoyed it!" -- ellen, Austin, Texas 19, USA.


Squat The Turtle by Pauline A White (2)
"I'd suggest placing this story under the Children category as well, Pauline, if you have not yet done so. It would receive even more exposure that way from readers that are looking to read juvenile fiction.--The Advisor" -- JA St.George.
"I'm glad to see that you have done so, Pauline." -- JA St.George.


The Twin Princesses by Crystal S Hughes (3)
"I have found this story very interesting!!!keep writing!" -- Aziz Jahan, Mianwali, Punjab, Pakistan.
"Alls as i can say is FOUL! FOUL! FOUL! this is so immature and childish i can't work out why u r such a pig.... can u answer that for me PIG!!! " -- ryan, charters tpowere, qld, australia.
"the only pig would be u Ryan. Why the hell did u bother reading it? and u say its immature and childish? like HELL-O .. this is supposed to be a story for kids. Keep up the good work Crystal :)" -- jonn.


The Last Visit by Jennifer Street (6)
"Wow, that's damn good! Keep it up..any truth in it? Ive written some stuff on here if u want to look around. " -- Carys Davies.
"Sorry forgot to mention my name on this thing is C G L Davies! " -- Carys Davies.
"brilliant- jemz" -- jemz, dublin, ireland.
"Wonderfully described tale of true human feelings, certainly could be expanded and one day be a best-seller!!!" -- Kenny, Glasgow, Scotland.
"This is so amazing, gush gush and the like, oh wow I can't believe how good this is it's like gush gush amazing. Golly, it's so good! You must be so proud, gush gush" -- Marian Keyes, Chicago, Harlem, America.
"Most impressive ms Street." -- Dick strappers, Glasgow, Faifleys, Scotsland.


Real Friendship by Shahid Kherro (2)
"It's a nice story...try to write longer stories,expressing more about situations and places. People would like to know the different cultures, background etc Keep writing! " -- Nadia, Dubai, UAE.
"i want o make girl friend on net in karachi" -- asad ali, karachi, sindh, pakistan.


Africa Rhymes by Nevine Boccara (1)
"Dear Nevine, Your poems are simply devine, I laughed and I cackled and was very amused (and I'm not even a child). Also I was delighted to see my long lost friend had taken up the pen in a literary challenge. (Don't know what happened to the great African novel though...) Love to hear from you! [email protected] will do the trick. This 'ere parrot ain't dead yet, I am thriving and awaiting your sweet words. Brian" -- Brian Johnston, Sydney, NSW, Australia.


Dr.Kitty's Adventures In Politics by Tom River (10)
"Interesting...what we're you smoking!!??" -- Dr.Jones, Leaf Falls, Indiana, U.S.A..
"Original..Ill give u that! I like it. where u from and all that jazz?" -- C G L Davies.
"This is really, really funny -in a sick way. Why's it under Gay & Lesbian?" -- Harriet.
"Can't say why but it amused me.... were you alluding to 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas?'" -- Iam.
"Fucking brilliant." -- Dr Stalin, Moscow, Russia.
"dear dear deary meeeeee. You have been busy out on the streetss now haven't we. Dogs burry bones that don't fertilise them with urine. WHY are you allowed into public with such texts the review on you last story should inform you of a date with the men in white jackets ... but out of the kindness of a strangers wallett (not mine) i have brought your meeting forward to an earlier date so fear not you shall be cured soon ... Oh Yes O So SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!! (MWAHAHAHAHA)" -- Mental Asylum Worker, ENGLAND.
"It's pretty fun but I don't get it." -- Greg Howell.
"It's sort of stupid." -- Cryoman.
"ommfg! this is so hilarious! u really need to email me or sumthin coz i wanna kno wat u were high on wen u wrote this.....lmmfao! " -- Angeline, Donora, PA, usa.
"oh sweet jesus. brilliant. you must write more. im in love with the stories." -- katie, puyallup, wa.


Regina Saves Christmas by Anthony S Maulucci (1)
"This is very humorous indeed, I am glad to see that there is someone else out there that not only does humor 'WELL',but rhyming and humorous children's stories and poems! Please check out my stories(The Dogs Dress Up for Halloween)etc...I would really appreciate your input! " -- christine Tricarico.


The Blue Bird On A Snowy Day In The Light Of The Moon by H (7)
"ARAAHAHAHHAHA! I love LA. We love it!" -- Adrian Barbobot.
"This story touches me in places only that only nuns have before. The fifth and sixth "Oh god" send me deep into a trance where I begin shaking and reciting the entire Ace of Base album from beginning to end. With verse comparable to that of Petrarch and Shakespeare, you should think of becoming a troubadour. By the end of the poem I was genuinely worried for your well being, but realizing there are so many old coal factories, I now know those stupid detectives will never find you. I miss you so much. Please come back to the orphanage where we can play tiddlywinks until dusk. You are sorely missed. Bedtime at 7:30, after many reruns of Who's the Boss and a Macaroni and Lard dinner. The key is under the mat. Come back, or I'll do something awful to myself. Never stop crying." -- Quene Doppelpopoulos.
"You are going to warp the fragile little mind of any child who reads this. It was good. " -- Alison.
"Great, but a bit graphic for small children, but I loved it." -- Kate, Florida.
"This is truly!!! sick!!! how could you even write, such a Thing??? you had some very good images!!! and this lost them!!! at the quick! I never read anything more twisted in my life! How can you say this is for "Children?" Truly grotesic!!! this is the kind of stuff, adults shouldn't even read!!!! It's know wonder "Why" theres so much "Killing" in the "World!" "I would be ashamed to even put my name on this "Title" and even more to say..."It's for, "Children"... disgraceful!!! and, to ask Jesus to save you? yuck!!!! " -- Rena .
"you are a sick fuck" -- Brian O Neil.
" "You said it! "Brian!" hit the nail, right on the --- head! " -- Rena .


The Teddy Bear War by Debbie Bailey (1)
"Boring. What's the bloody moral? One of the bears should die or something." -- Dr Stalin, Moscow, Russia.


Footstools by K Whan (5)
"I loved it. I told my 6 year old and he thought it was great and wanted to give his baby teeth to the horses!" -- L Kisler.
"So cute!!! loved it" -- tom.
"Wonderful & imaginative story!" -- K.R. Swartz, St. Thomas, ON, Canada.
"How sweet, Do you have more?" -- Mike from USA.
" My six year old, as well as myself, enjoyed this. Especially since my daughter is missing alot of teeth!!" -- tricarico.


Aj And His Lost Ball by Rose Molina (1)
"i loved it i thought that it was well writen and thoughtfull you should feel proud!!!" -- robyn, bendigo, vic, australia.


The Magic Wish Star by Kathy R Swartz (1)
"I thought it a very hard warming story but what got my attention the most that it was from a another mom this like me who loves to write too." -- Kathy Simmons, Saginaw, Michigan, Saginaw.


Duty And Dedication by Amit Gupta (1)
"It is a very good story which teaches how honesty and dedication is rewarded.Good for the children to inculcate dedication." -- Wasim Najmul Huda, Karachi, Sind, Pakistan.


Natalia's Drugs by Rose Trimovski (2)
"This sucked so bad I don't even know where to begin." -- Bitch.
"Bitch's comment pretty much sums it up. There are about 20 different things wrong with this "story", if you could call it that, but I'd rather not sit here and write them all out. This is a total waste of time and effort on both your part and the part of the reader." -- Wolfa.


Annabelle The Ant by John Thomas Barragan (4)
"I loved this story, i read it to my children and they loved it too." -- Zack Farwell, Half Moon Bay, California, United States.
"TRY USING THE SAME NUMBER OF SYLLABLES IN YOUR RHYME LINE AS IN THE LINE BEFORE IT. HE RAN ACROSS THE STREET HIS FRIEND HE HAD TO MEET >KEEP WRITING< JOHN" -- JOHN SPILBOR.
"I liked this very much, though I did think it may have had more impact if it was slightly shorter. I also write childrens stories and have piece that will be published in August. Good Luck with your foundation. Lisa Alderson" -- Lisa Alderson.
"This poem has an appeal to a kindergarten group. I wish that I could distribute this book to all the parents of kinder year kids in my town. Although some editing is needed, this story really explains the feelings coming from both parties involved and expresses the importance of following your mother's wishes.A five out of five stars. " -- Alicia Davis, Buckeye, Arizona, USA.


Little Metal Riding Hood by Veronica Ewing (10)
"....." -- Tyrant.
"This was a really wierd story that could've used a lot more details. It also needed a different plot, because it's the same exact thing as the original." -- Tracy , Normal, Illinois, USA.
"dont mind what the other people say sweetie you have great great stories and they are alll eeither sad or funny even without muc=h detail. plus it is not like a contest or something" -- hotaru.
"Veronica, your story runs along a similar vein to that of Wolfe's (though less extreme as she doesn't write for children-thank god!) . Yup,that's just Wolfe under The Authors. She does serious stuff too I think, so u haveta click a coupla times to get to the funnies. I think u'll like it!" -- Harriet.
"Sorry, I meant Wolfa. Silly me!" -- Harriet.
"Opps! I just clicked on your author decription and saw your age! Maybe my suggestion wasn't such a good idea!" -- Harriet.
"ur story is a good one but the name EU WOLF" -- osama bin hassan, karachi, sindh, pakistan.
"SORRY I MEANT"UR STORY IS A GOOD ONE BUT THE NAME EO WOLF IS VERY FUNNY." -- Osama Bin Hassan, Karachi, Sindh, Pakistan.
"Just read yoiur story, funny, really, need a little work, but funny just the the same. I like the way you end it, totally with a positive, every child's story should end on a positive note. If I am not mistaken, yours was a matter of sharing. Keep it up, writing is how we all learn to live. " -- Wilma Walker, Atlanta, GA, USA.
"Just looked at your profile, it's been years, since you posted, well me to, don't let the bad reviews get you down, they are just needing something in their lives, I still think your work was funny, similar,to little red, but funny just the same." -- Wilma Walker, Atlanta, GA, UA.


Dying Love by Rose Trimovski (5)
"hey your story was really good and i thought it was sad at the end cuz it made me cry i was like "nooo" and it really was good. Great Job!" -- Sarah, Miami, Florida.
"Good story, but the details were very strange. Horse drawn carriges, mentions of the gold rush, and attacks by indians? That belongs a good deal before 1949. Also, shorts and t-shirts wouldn't belong with that." -- Katie, Rhode Island.
"Um. First of all, I think you need to brush up on your writing skills a little. This could possibly, with some work, be a very touching story. And the details were distracting and detracted from your story. 1949 wasn't quite the dark ages you make it out to be. Here's an easy reference point for thinking about the technology of those days: WW2. Fought using tanks, planes, etc. Planes are a bit more complicated than cars, so I think that it would be safe for you to assume, without any research, that cars were around in 1949. Good luck on your writing." -- Wolfa.
"rose, you are amazing at writing. I was drawn into the story as martha went to the forest and saw george and how their friendship grew into love and the tragic ending, she didn't deserve to lose the one she loved. sad story.you did a very good job rose at writing the story" -- Nelson.
"heyz.! your story is very good.. it is very touching..i was like crying in the end of the story.. it is ver y sad ..Boo Hoo.. :( i t hink you better write more stor y cause i am wi lling to read it one day.. you r story is GREAT..!! Excellent Job!" -- syafiqah, singapore.


Timmy Takes Care Of Mom by Diya (3)
"This is a sweet story. It would be great in a board book form." -- Becky Villareal, Garland, Texas, United States.
"This was a good story, however, it lacked detail and sentence structure. Also, it was hard to understand the point of view of the author. A narrative style of writitng would have made this paper much better. " -- Kurt Defenbaugh, Normal, il, U.S..
"this nice story my kids like it verymuch hope to see more stories in future from u." -- waqar, jeddah, saudi arabia, western.


Snowman, Pet Story by Anna Henderson (3)
"my kids and i both enjoyed these tales and it reminded mr of my youth." -- marie, knoxville, tn.
"I liked the poems a lot. They reminded me of my youth. Building a snowman is always a good time. These poems brought back some good memories. Thanks." -- Vince, Normal, Illinois, United States.
"Those are so cute!! I love them!" -- Tabatha.


Them Ugly Beardens by Pegi Handley (1)
"It is a good story, but the author uses to many "slang" words such as "foolin', and talkin.'"" -- Blake Feese, Normal, IL, USA.


Fins, Feathers And Furs by H E Gurlitt (2)
"Delightfully funny! Should be a great read to kids--activate their imaginations!" -- Helen G., Skagit County, Washington, USA.
"Of found it very interesting in the story that all these creatures who are so different can live in harmony. Also the names of the animals were pretty funny." -- Jen Shanders, Normal, Illinois, McLean.


Stran's Folicle Adventure by Shannon Pypper Leary (1)
"this story used a great deal of imagination, that has been lacking in stories for some time now. The word usage was brilliant. It truelly came alive!" -- Lily, NewYok, NewYork, United States.


Sundays by Shannon Pypper Leary (1)
"Never have I been so insulted by a work of fiction. (At least I pray it's fiction) .This is truely the producted of a warped and twisted mind. I am not offended by the quality of the work , albiet unmitigated crap with nothing to merit or justify it. It is not your fault that you'r not a naturaly talanted writer but it is your duty to realise and accept this, rather than resorting to sensationalist shock tatics. Peadifillia is a highly sensative issuse which has affected many and should be traeted with sensitivity. I was deeply offendedby the promoting of such a cruel act and the inference that "The kiddies like it realy". I hope that others are equaly upset by this twisted work . I have read this screenplay and hope that because I have done this others will not have to. Take it from me that unless you are sexualy frustarated or a pervert/peadifile, this screenplay will sicken you. Stay away. Boycott this depravity!" -- Barry Noman.


Give Up The Grub by Cairo Malet (4)
"I hope you like my story!" -- Cairo, Perth, Western Australia, Australia.
"was a cute story that made me laugh. Cairo, when your characters speak it�s called dialogue. When you write dialogue each character must be given her own line. For example; �How are you,� asked John. �I�m fine,� said Janet �Walk with me,� said John. �Well, I don�t know. Okay,� said Janet shyly as she got off her bike. Also Cairo thoughts are not put in quotes. For example, Oh no, I thought. I'll never get out, and I be eaten tomorrow. You�ll notice I removed the words �in my head� They are not needed because �thought� says that the words are in your head without having to say it. Some writers also put the characters' thoughts in italics. " -- Allister, AZ, USA.
"Well I tried to post it so you can see what I maen but it wrapped around anyway. I'll try again ang put a space betweew each chracter. Cairo, when your characters speak it�s called dialogue. When you write dialogue each character must be given her own line. For example; �How are you,� asked John. �I�m fine,� said Janet. �Walk with me,� said John. �Well, I don�t know. Okay,� said Janet shyly as she got off her bike. Also Cairo thoughts are not put in quotes. For example, Oh no, I thought. I'll never get out, and I be eaten tomorrow. You�ll notice I removed the words �in my head� They are not needed because �thought� says that the words are in your head without having to say it. Some writers also put the characters thoughts in italics. " -- Allister, AZ, USA.
"Didn't work. Just look at how it's done in novels. Good luck." -- Allister, USA.


To Be Or Not To Be by Debra Phillips (2)
"Your comical story's comical charm also is informative by introducing the bee mimic. Certainly, it would make very a very active picture book with Peahop running everywhere. There are a few places that might need a little attention but overall the rhythm is good. Check on the verse that begins "Nonsense," near the ending. That was a little unclear. It appears Peahop is speaking thoughout the paragraph but mentions "as a lad," which this lady could not have been. It may be just a case of punctuation. A very lively read... reminds me to the Amelia Bedelia series. Keep at it. Your descriptions are imaginative and colorful. " -- Stephanie Mckinney.
" This is clever...good rhyme. I am glad that there are some of us left, not afraid of rhyming for children! I am in a critique group that is continually saying "watch out for rhyming-Editors don't like it!" Well the children LOVE it and it also helps them learn, so I say rhyme on!! I would love it if you read my stories here - and tell me what you think!" -- christine tricarico.


The Strange Mansion by Rose Trimovski (3)
"I LOVED THE STORY ITS SOOOO GOOD AN COOL, I WOULD SAY GOOD JOB TO THE PERSON WHICH IS ROSE THAT MADE IT, GREAT JOB!" -- Joanna Rodis, Chicago, ILLinois.
"I really liked your story it was da bomb!!" -- KiKi, Miami, Florida.
"Your fixation with physical descriptions, in all of your work, is rather odd. For example, you could have written "Jenni was a tall girl, with straight brown hair and striking green eyes," instead. It's a better attention-grabber." -- Wolfa.


Judy and the Frogs by Judith Z Marrs (3)
"Glad you wrote this story, one can learn from the way you made the story flow. Thanks. erika" -- H. E. Henze, Mt. Vernon, WA.
"This is a good children's story. It provides important lessons that all children should learn. It is also entertaining." -- Brian, Normal, Il, United States.
" Where's your story Judy??? Rena" -- Rena Leanne Erickson .


TAG by B Andrews (2)
"YOUR STORY WAS SOOO GAY IM SORRY BUT U COULD NEVER BE A WRITER IT PLAIN SUCKED, NEXT TIME DONT COPY OTHER PEOPLE'S STORIES AND LEARN TO MAKE YOUR OWN FOR ONCE WHAT A LOSER U R." -- KEKE WILLS, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS.
"Excellent story. The writer combines imagery, fascination, fantasy and portrays a gentleness of contact with humans and animals. This should be turned into a Picture StoryBook. " -- Richard L. Provencher, Truro, Canada, Nova Scotia.


There are 54 title entries with reviews on this page.


Go to page: 1 2 3
 

Copyright © 1998-2001 Storymania Technologies Limited. All Rights Reserved.