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What A Surprise by Stuart Eric Longridge (1)
"It IS a "happy rant"... made me smile!" -- Amanda.


The Wolf Prologue by David B Doc Byron (1)
""I dont fuck around.""Ward and June Cleaver, he was not.""And find my sorry ass if exactly what I did.""If...not not downright goddam cheap." Just thought I would point out a few mistakes while I was at it. I could have used someone like this a few times in my life. Maybe you could go back and "fix" the MF in the first chapter of my story. " -- Sylvia.


The Wolf Part 0ne by David B Doc Byron (1)
"OOOOOO,OOOOOO, Tell me more! Come on! Tell me more!:D" -- Sylvia.


Don't Cry Out by Sylvia Browne (5)
"I would like to thank everyone who spoke up to administration. This includes the writers, as well as the readers. Each one of you made a difference! As I promised, I have now reposted my story. " -- Sylvia.
"I could not get interested in the story, but I did try.Keep trying." -- jasmine, England.
"Thanks for the reading. I know this isn't a story for everyone, and I appreciate the input." -- Sylvia.
"I found it hard to digest to begin with, Sylvia but after the rape scene, it seemed to run a lot smoother and the timbre and pace of the storytelling was perfect. I advise you put an intro to set the scene and re-write it slightly to bring a little more clarity. Reading your intro was like reading a novel that had the first page ripped out. That aside, the story's good. Its believable and bitter-sweet. Best of all, I could relate to your character - now that's essential. Hope you found this helpful." -- Harriet.
"Thank you for the review. Every word helps." -- Sylvia.


Arual Evenstar by L J Milakovic (1)
"Your an amazing writer, I got totally lost in your work. I wonder if your as beautiful in person as you are in writing?? Hmmmmmmm.......I guess i'll have to find that one out :) xxx " -- Siwel Nameerf , Washington DC, USA.


A Model Life by Harriet Nicholas (3)
"I told you I would read your story. I want you to know I think we could be friends.LOL Anyhow, you have a lot of fleshing out to do on this, but it is an interesting story. As far as your "Title" problem, Janet Versus the World works, but since you experessed a desire for something different, I have a couple ideas. I don't know where your story is going, so keep that in mind when you see these.*Multifaceted....Her painted face....Janet?* I don't know if any of these will fit with where the story is going, but what you have so far, they do. Best of luck. Read you later. " -- Sylvia.
"Thank you for your comment, Sylvia. The story still has a long way to go - this is just a build up (and hopefully, a good one). I'm not sure any of those titles suggested sound right. I might rename it: Fast Food Celeb. Thank you for reviewing my work. I promise to return the favour to you. X" -- Harriet.
"Now that is a title to consider. Hmmmmm, I do like how it sounds. I like the start of your story too by the way. Thanks for the review too." -- Sylvia.


Constance & Flynn by Julissa Gayle Raven (4)
"I would really appreciate some criticism be it bad, good or just NONSENSE!" -- Julie, Benbrook, TX, United States.
"It's wonderful in all ways. It succesfully shows the well rounded predictions of human nature. You better become a writer." -- Amy Mondure Lioncourt, Wellington, USA, Fl.
"Thank you sooooooooooo much. My muse Haven, also says that I must become a writer, she believes its a sin to keep this talen to myself." -- Julie, Benbrook, TX, USA.
"Please leave a review of what you have read so far... thanks a whole lot." -- Julie, The Author.


The Masochist Boy by Pearl S (10)
"It was a great and touching story!I loved it.." -- Autumn, PA, USA.
"This story was amazing. It almost made me cry! I can't wait to read more of your writing." -- c, texas.
"awesome story, pearl! u gotta get this one published. just fix a few things like - laid, and amn't. i'm no english professor and i never got how to use lay and lie properly... but still this is a great story and u could easily make it so much better. it got a little confusing when, in the middle, u gotta pause and figure out WHO's perspective its coming from - rob or his sister, but it is inspiring, a story that shows how people can overcome their problems with just a little bit of encouragement from the right sources. " -- miriam.
"miriam and c thanks for your comments, i was actually going to burn this one (; it's interesting about the amn't...i wrote that bkz i though in common dialogue ppl said it...but i should have listened closer. only my family says it (: " -- pearl.
"you know it's occurred to me that anybody who likes my stuff would probably like some of "ami's" work (warring faiths, don't be so quick to pull the plug). she's a very talented writer who will make you cry and it's kind of frustrating watching her work go unnoticed when it's so darn good" -- pearl.
"This story is beautiful. It made me cry. and for those that know me that is no small feat. Actually Im ready to cry right now. you really should get this published, if the publishers are stupid enough not to already." -- nash.
"if you like this book you might want to check out "south side story" by N.W. Johnson. its in pretty much the same type of book. teen drama. check it out its pretty good" -- wouldnt u like 2 know.
"this was a great story. i loved it. it defenatly touched me, thank you....." -- robyn.
"hey I figured I'd ask you for your email address cuz id rele like to talk to you!" -- Nash .
"hey nash...thank you! i knows its been awhile, if you want to talk to me... [email protected]" -- pearl.


The Mad Music Teacher by Tammi Goyns (2)
"Good, and I hope you manage to finish it so I can finish reading it! It's interesting and seems to be a well worth reading book(thats when it's done of course)" -- The NutCase.
"It's beautiful. I was really fascinated. Will you put up more as you finish more? " -- Pearl .


Purple Passion by M F J Baker (2)
"I think this is the begining of a great story. I would love to know how to get the rest." -- Janee Hill.
"This book is the most sexiest book i have ever read. The explicit graphics of sexual activities sends shivers through my body. I love the moral of the story...and i realize that these things happen." -- Kimberley Beaton, Georgetown, E.B.D, Guyana.


Blurring Fiction With Reality (1) by Tim Baker (1)
"Tim, I would have liked to hear more about "Seth" where he has come from and where he aspires to be. I couldn't get a clear picture on Seth in my mind he is just twenty something person, plagued by his own lack of direction. This sounds too normal to me. Who is the real "Seth" there is more to him than his everyday drudgery, I want to know about it. I am sure you will explore this in the following chapters, however I would have like to have seen a clue to his direction, we know where "Seth" is, but where is he going. I look forward to reading the following chapters to really get to know why Seth is different than your regular twenty something, who is trapped by their own mind, is he going to win the battle with his mind or will it ultimately conquer him. He is a prisoner locked deep inside his turbulent psyche, I need a clue to whether he is strong enough to break free?????" -- Danny Carey, Adelaide, S.A, Australia.


The Wildwood by David B Doc Byron (1)
"Hi D Doc i like what i see. This has promise." -- Francis Chudley.


Letters From The Wasteland by David B Doc Byron (1)
"cool!" -- Tomcat.


Alecto by BeckN (1)
"I�m looking for distressing literature" -- PEDRO, SAN MARTIN, BUENOS AIRES, ARGENTINA.


The Starbird Hunt (1-9) by Phil V Infinite (1)
"I am loving this story. I think it is written very well, and it keeps my interest. There are some spelling errors but that is, to me, beside the point. I think I can tell, no offence, that it is not written by a professional but I like it all the same and whoever wrote this should continue, and let me know when the rest of it is done, I'm very interested in reading it." -- DIsaac, Baltimore, Maryland, USA.


Masters Of The Arches Chapter 2 by Mandil (1)
"You are an excellent writer, Mandil, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado.


Farscape Tracker by Rick Mantilla (1)
"It's ashame that your work hasn't gotten any reviews. I personally enjoy Farscape on the SciFi channel. You are an excellent writer, Rick Mantilla, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado.


Faeid by Aurora Knight (4)
"You are an excellent writer, Aurora Knight, certainly you are looking for more than the hassle you can get here. RoseDog.comThe largest manuscript showcase available to writers, agents, and publishers.Enter RoseDog BooksBecome a published author at a fraction of the cost of traditional self-publishing.Enter RoseDog is working to get writers noticed. We now have 110 publishers and 59 agents registered with us! There are over 6,870 manuscripts in the showcase! � Writers: Are you looking for a publisher or agent? Learn about the benefits of RoseDog membership here. � Showcase excerpts from your unpublished work quickly and easily. Use your RoseDog email to communicate with other writers. Request a free banner to draw attention to your manuscript. � Read our Writers FAQs here. � Agents and Publishers: Find out why RoseDog makes good business sense for you. No fees, no commissions, no hassles. " -- RoseDog Afficianado.
"This is a very good story, and it kept me on my toes...I have only one problem w/ it: Where's the end?!" -- Hannah.
"Very good." -- Ian Goodall.
"DONT GO TO THE PUBLISHER ROSE.DOG. THEY ARE LYING DECEITFUL B*****. THEY ARE VANITY, SO YOU HAVE TO PAY THEM MONEY FOR EVERYTHING!!! BE WARNED!" -- Ian Goodall.


Sinister Music by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (1)
"I'm sorry, but it was determined by my group that this piece was too long to review." -- Cam Davis.


No Team To Root For by B J Bloch (1)
"I confess to only having read the first page of thirty-six. phew that's a whole lot of writing. It begins well though I think could perhaps use a few hooks to grab the readers attention. The writing was strong and descriptive and has an easy unhurried way about it that would make it perfect bed-time reading. I found the strange use of hypenated words odd "al-most" for instance. Although this start didn't leave me breathless with excitement and desperate to know what happens next, I did think that it was extreemly professional in its style. " -- Sooz, Dalton, Cumbria, England.


Another Senseless Killing by B J Bloch (1)
"This is fantastic. 9/10 I read the first page of your other novel and didn't get into it at all, although I couldn't help but be impressed with the style. Again the single word that came to me while reading this was 'professional'. Not many pieces on writing sites feel 'shop bought' this does. The characterisation is excellent. " -- Sooz, Dalton, Cumbria, England.


The Blood Of Fate-Chapter One by Liz Erjavec K Fate (1)
"This is good work with some great description. Keep it up and it could easily bloom." -- Jack Brown, UK.


Mumbles From The Madhouse by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (4)
"I found this one a bit confusing. It seems to be the opening two chapters of a novel. I don't think it stands alone very comfortably as a short story. From the writing point of view I think there is too much introduction: the first few paragraphs are almost all descriptive, it's only in the second "chapter" that things begin to happen. The writing also is a bit rough in places and in my opinion needs further editing and proof-reading. My main puzzlement however is with the institution being described. I work in the mental health field and am undergoing training to work in the secure unit, and it really doesn't resemble what is described here. Without going into detail, this sounds like something from the last century, or even earlier, apart from the mention of the medical wipes and the modern drugs. The setting just doesn't ring true. I am normally a great fan of Sooz' writing but I think she has gone a little adrift with this one." -- David Gardiner, London, England.
"Yes this is the start of a novel and isn't meant to sit alone. Astute as always. This one is based on my own experiences but it is a cut and shut (is that what they call those cars?) The gothic vicorian description is from Lancaster Moor the famous 'institute' that is no more. It ran (in fact I worked there) until fairly recently, in fact I think it only closed in the last ten years or so. It was the most depressingly aptmospheric place I have ever worked. I think it had misery and suffering etched into its stonework. everything else is taken from another place entirely in Cheshire. I don't want to name it because when I began working there the place, standards, and practises were dire. Moral was low, staff were sloppy and lazy and the place needed a good shake up. It was bought by a pair of Asian buissness men, what the hell did they know about running a secure mental health and EMI unit? I thought it would be the kiss of death, but they knew their stuff. You cut the mustard or you were out! A new staff was brought in and things became happy and sunny and treatment was excellent. This novel is going to be about the turn around. I just like the thought of it being set in The Moor rather than in a virtually new building. Thanks David." -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria.
"Snickers� Review: ***As usual, Ms. Simpson displays excellent writing. The images are sharp, the story flows. Some thoughts follow. Also, watch the use of commas: when in doubt, leave it out ;-)*** The welcome that greeted her when the door was opened was not an inspiring one. The lady that stood before her was of average height, with cropped ginger hair, and a face like a smacked bum. Angie smiled what she hoped was a warm and confident smile, introduced herself, and said she was expected for her first day of duty by the Matron, Mrs. Lynne Phillips. �Lynne�s off sick� The woman informed Angie, ushering her in. �And I haven�t got time to be bothered with you today. I�ve got two girls off and now with matron off too, it leaves me in a right mess. You�ll just have to manage as best you can.� Well this certainly wasn�t the welcome she had hoped for. ***This is redundant, its already been stated two paragraphs earlier*** Lynne had promised to meet her at the door, and give her the guided tour, introducing her to the clients, and giving her a bit of background on each. She had said that she would make the entire afternoon available to stay with Angie, for her induction. The smell hit her the second she walked through the door, Oh they�d done their best to mask it with strong disinfectant and deodorising room fresheners, but the smell of incontinence and misery was far too powerful and dominant to be smothered. ***We've got the smell in here twice. I might reword it a little bit*** 2 The noise released with the opening of the door, was instantly cacophonous, wails and moaning. ***That first sentence is awkward*** Several voices shouting, some screaming, one man releasing a stream of the foulest language ever heard. The smell had at least doubled in intensity so that Angie had to fight the instinct to gag. She knew one thing, and that was that she would not be beaten by this imposing place with it�s unfriendly staff and neglected appearance. She knew she did not like what her senses showed her, and that she in her little way and with her heartfelt good intentions, would make a difference to the lives of these poor cast off people, who nobody else wanted the responsibility of. ***Ending a sentence with a preposition .... might want to reword that*** However little it was, Angie was going to make her mark on this institution for the mentally ill, and it would be for the better. Angie was still �stood standing� as her mother used to say, pondering the who, what, when, where, why, and how of the situation when she met the first of her sixty charges. The other question that was blowing in the wind of Angie�s mind ***this is awkward and uncharacteristic of Ms. Sooz.*** was �Where the bloody hell were all the staff?� The place seemed devoid of them. The man had lost his temper. Angie moved away from the door as he pounded against it. Shouting that he needed to get on the platform because he had a train to catch. Angie felt out of her depth and wanted to put some distance between herself and the irate man. ***rather than tell here, it might be better to add more dialog in an effort to show. Telling at this point seems redundant since we've already gotten that message*** ***One more word, about the s#!t eating part. Well that isn't the nicest part of the piece, but it is all in context and none of the rest of it is a pretty picture either. And actually it moves the plot along, it motivates Angie to do something. The writing stands up.*** " -- Cam Davis.
"Thanks Snickers, I write form experience and from life. I tell it like it is. Thanks Cam. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria.


The Fire Gem by Hamish Roberts (2)
"Yer hi, i know hamish personally, so i feel i can be as rude as i want this is absolute sh*t. the punctuation is terrible as is the spelling. Hamish i love you, but you literature i will never love Lots of love George" -- George Impey, Winchester, hampshire, England.
"This story is a wonder of fantastical narrative, inventive characters, mindless wankstains of pleasure, but most of all, um, no no no no, not um, you can raelly, you can make it really (shouting now) stop it stop it write my review properly hashshshshshhsshsh, fucking feel the love. new paragraph hamish this is an order do a new paragraph fuck fuck (middle class laughter) (more so, more so) ha ha ha ha ha, ahahheiur, aaaahhahah eurueoufhg gheog pajdfpkma lgkj aokegj, plakgf erhgk . ja jaj ha ha ah, oh dear me skaaaa, baaaaaaaa maaaaaaa, saaaaaaaaaa faaaaaaaaaa, blaaaaaaaah but one can honestly take from this the most poignant, punctual, pungant, message no commma, as he were saying, another p word message, i love this story. thank you finally. thankyou, finally for your time. peace. I am sorry about the eratic nature of these messages, alot of crabs up my arse driving me the wrong way. great plot though. xxxx " -- Jango Jameson, London, London, United Kingdommore .


Lizards Leap by Sue (Sooz) Simpson (5)
"(Short Stories) A paradox revolving round the lonely Holker Mosses in the dead of night. [2,835 words] [Mystery] " -- ali kamran, hyderabad, sindh, pakistan.
"This was charming! There are some errors -- in the first paragraph, for instance, "Schools Summer Fair" should have an apostrophe-- and describing the children in a paragraph each is a bit heavy-handed, but this story really made me smile. I wish there was more of it, though; this is a very frustrating place for it to end." -- Caitlin Conaway, USA, California.
"Oh it doesn't have to end Caitlin, I've got the whole book. Thanks for the review I've corrected the errors and thank you for liking it. It's one of my favourites. " -- Sooz, Dalton-in-Furness, England, Cumbria.
"Sorry, but this one's too long for my group to review." -- Cam Davis.
"Ehmm..m. Sehr gut Seite! Ich sage innig..!:) bmw" -- BMW, ..., ..., ....


There are 25 title entries with reviews on this page.


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