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Short Stories - Reviews |
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Short Stories Reviews |
The Mirage by Vinod Sasidharan (1) "i wana see the story" -- longtran, lilburn, Ga, north america. Ruins by Amit Shankar Saha (1) "Very good story... Humane....sensitive...Carry on the boat of creativity ... Pl. search author by Partha Pratim , you 'll get my stories ... eleven in number... pl.send your comment in review to say candidly as to how do you like it. " -- Partha Pratim Majumder, Kolkata, India, West Bengal. Nanotech by Susan Brassfield Cogan (1) "where have you been? I have waited a wait to read another one of your stories and this was great. I love it. I didn't know you wrote sci-fi...nut you wrote it well! Is there another portion to this or is this ll of it?" -- e. rocco caldwell. Carpet, 03.17 A.M. by Maurice Codourey (2) "Not a great story and kind of weird.'runned away?'Dude, that's not proper english.Next time you have little men in your carpet get a can of bug spray and then spray some of it on this story you wrote and burn it." -- D. "I think that what caught my attention was the # of hits this story has recieved...wow! But the story was not so impressive. For me it lacked the visual aspect...try to put me there. Look forward to seeing more from you." -- mattie. The Genome Paradox by Armand Waksberg (1) "I want to read more and more excellent stories." -- selina51. Zen And Zoom by Kathy Lafollett (1) "Funny story with a good sprinkling of the ironies of life....'why do i do this when it only serves to keep me doing it again and again when i would like to be more fulfilled with my life'...." -- Frank Zubek, usa. Wait ! by Buxton (1) "in the tradiction of Doc Bryon....well done!" -- e. rocco caldwell. Unwanted Company by Erasmus Flynt (2) "this is a wonderful little tale...I completely enjoyed it and thought your style in developing characters was superb. Continue the fine work." -- e. rocco caldwell. "Wow, this was a great story. Very eerie, I laughed when he first yelled out at her, and continued to yell at her in the restaruant. Great job once again." -- Moses M Constable. Tribute To Abbie Angel by Allington Kinsley (1) "Abbie, this a plea from the author--please, go to a shelter; seek help, but please, don't stay on the streets. Please, go home!" -- Allington, toledo, oh, usa. The Sudden Riot by Jannah Akira (2) "polish this up a bit.... I enjoyed it. It made me read the entire thing because it was written well. I loved the connection between suzanna and the soccer player. I think you have a very good story on your hands...keep it up." -- e. rocco caldwell. "i'm glad you like it.Well, i love soccer so much so i kinda get millions of imagination about it. Thanks for the review" -- Akira NJ. The Massacre Of Sierra Madre by Kevin Myrick (1) "Hello! This proved to be quite good. There was a few instances where there were missteps, like a word missing here or there, or a word in the place where another word is supposed to be, but all of that can be eliminated with editing. I am quite interested to see what happens next. Have you read Susan Brassfield Cogan's short story "Murder on the Waterfront?" It's on the site, so you may want to check it out. See you next submission. " -- Michael, Detroit. The Man From Sierra Madre by Kevin Myrick (1) "This was good enough, probably better than your last Sierra Madre entry. Sentence structure was spot on, as was word selection. I have only one major criticism, so here goes: "Woody took another cigarette for himself, and the Frenchman lit it for him, pocketing the Zippo." This seems a bit unrealistic, that Woody would receive a light from a man about to kill him. All in all, it was great. See you next submission. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit. The Death Of Smith And Jones In Sierra Madre by Kevin Myrick (2) "Another good entry in your Sierra Madre series. I just have two criticisms. Firstly, is it such a good idea to include the fact that two characters are going to get killed in the story? Wouldn't it be better if the reader didn't know what was going to happen? That way, the reader could go into the confrontation with the boyfriend and the cops thinking that one of them could possibly escape harm. Secondly, it seemed a little unrealistic that the boyfriend would be willing to kill the cops in broad daylight and in front of so many eye witnesses. Just my two cents, otherwise it was fantastic. Keep it up." -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Good story, maybe flawed somewhat by cliche in plot and stereotypical charactors. A good example is the worldly, sel-reliant yet soft hearted Maureen. Also I found instances where correct grammar didn't fit. One instance: Maureen wished the deputies weel or such and (assumed) Roger replied we sahll. Later in the conversation he used "gotta". I don't believe a person who says "gotta" would know when nor would they how to use "shall". Just a small thing but how well would Gone With The Breeze sold? I did enjoy reading these, however, and I beleive that is the ultimate test of any work. " -- Jerry Ison. That Extra S - Mile �. by Partha Pratim Majumder (3) "I can't say this enough...you have a wonderful gift iin developing characters...this story worked because the the conflict of those characters. The husband and wife shows their disdain and utter confusion and the sweet son in the morning after gentle like the morning itself spreading peace throughout the house...the usage of words in this story help relay the turmoil of the night and the clam of the day...the think the title should reflect the conflict instead of the effort but that's up to you. This is another work of art!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "The storyline has a smooth run. Sweet finish. Impeccable style of storytelling and building characters. Good." -- Ron Martin, California, USA. "Quality prose. I like it. " -- David , USA. Punk Club Saturdays -- A Memoir by Hayley Burdett (1) "This memoir was great! So emotive. It made me feel really nostalgic. Thank you" -- La Longue Carabine. Lost Girl by Abbie Angel (3) "Abbie, this brought tears to my eyes...I', a father of two daughters one is just about your age...I would go mad not knowing where she was out in this world. I understand the need of a girl for her father...you relayed so well the hurt you have in your heart. It was tough for me to finish readign this but I did. It's written well. I want you to know there are places you can go...runnaway shelters that will protect and work with you to a resolution...you need some sort of resolution... You need to get off the streets ASAP! The streets is no where for anyone but especially a 15 year old girl with her life still waiting to happen. Please find a phone book and look up in crisis pages for a runnaway shelter...get in one...get safe and then work out your problems! Please! As a father I'm begging you!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Dear Abbie,this is a very good story and my heart goes out to you.I truly hope that you're off the streets and living somewhere that is safe.A 15 year-old girl should be worrying about her friends and doing her homework not about finding her next place to sleep.God bless you and I hope you find a place where you are loved.I look forward to reading lost girl 2&3" -- David Daniels. "Why not lost girl 4 through 10 as well? If you wanted to find a bunch of gullible bleeding hearts to read your bullshit, you couldn't have picked a better venue. Amazing that you are able to find a computer and the time to post all of this while still trying to find a place to sleep. I don't believe you're lost or a runaway. You may be close to fifteen but you know how to feed off the suckers like Rocco who "beg you as a father" to go home. I give you credit. You found a sure way to get your fairy tales read and reviewed. If you post a P.O. box mailing address, you might even get these pathetic chumps to send you money. Only in America! " -- Don't believe you. Lost Girl 3 by Abbie Angel (1) "You're a talented writer. Go home!!" -- km. Lost Girl 2 by Abbie Angel (1) "Pleaseeeeeeeee go home!" -- km. Lost Chances by J Shartzer (1) "Well...you had me thinking the guy telling the story was a dog at first but I like it...good work Joshy boy...keep it up." -- Aryka. Imagine Alone by Mungo Faust (2) "wow...no WOWWWWWWWWWWWW! I liked this a lot. What a twist!!! A couple of misspelled words but WOW." -- km (michelle). "This is my first reading from Mungo Faust. You and I write so simialiar it captivates me. Just thought I'd take a look at your other works. Very very good. Best regards!!" -- Moses C.. He Grows Up... by Partha Pratim Majumder (3) "you have such a wonderful way of bringing out character in your works. I simply enjoy discovering the people you write about. The settings are so well defined and the flow of what you write is so easy to understand it keeps your interests throughout the piece. You are perhaps the finest writer on this site and their are many good writers who submit good pieces. You should be delighted in such praise! Please keep up you writing...it is always refreshing to read your stuff. This one was like these others marvelous!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Excellent piece !!!! Fabulous !!!" -- P.Moitra, West Bengal, India. "This is a piece of crap.It sucks like woa. Go back to writersd camp.Jackbutt.I'd give this a -1.Not even" -- Rene. Friendship, Oblivion by Skyler Drevan (2) "I can feel some truth in this piece...something you have experienced personally comes out so veyr clear...this is the essence of writing taking what one feels and putting it into so others can feel it to! Very good job" -- e. rocco caldwell. "I love this one...it is sincere and so true. I also would love if you can make an honest review on my new piece; USA,let's fall in love again. Thanks, Jeffrey!" -- Dri. Flourescent Lighting by Hayley Burdett (1) "I loved the banana usage...the imagery was very strong because of the banana. This is written with a sheer rawness...a acrid taste to it. Well done." -- e.rocco caldwell. Engineering An Engineer by Partha Pratim Majumder (1) "maybe it's the detail in each of your pieces that have me addicted to your style...I can't quite say but this story has such a real feeling to it. It flows so easily and entracnes the reader. The plots you deal with are so very real and ordinary which is why they are so good. In this story there's a deep connection to poetry...I wonder why I haven't see much poetry from you?" -- e. rocco caldwell. A Message From God by Abbie Angel (1) "Listen to God! Get some help, you're right, you can't keep running. And you're a good writer, don't give up." -- kavya. Waterworld by Bri Q Brisee (1) "excellent fable! beautifully told, good language." -- j.. Wanted - Unwanted by Partha Pratim Majumder (10) "I want to say that i enjoyed the way you handled this issue. My friend is a hugh anti-abortion leader and has gone to jail on several occasions trying to save the unborn. I thought the writng was good. I likded the voices outside...(having a great impact on how we see the life of the baby) it's alive..hearing what we say even though it might not understand it. The issue is life and the value of life which I thought you showed well." -- e. rocco caldwell. "This is certainly the most original story I've read on this site and makes a point about a controrversial issue. I must say that even before I read it I could sort of guess what this story was going to be about just by the title. It takes a lot of guts to take such a clear stance against abortion." -- Steven. "Oh ! What a high standard story !!! Congratulations. I expect more from you" -- Ralph Steward, Sydney, Australia. "Brilliant piece of writing. It reminds of my first abortion which I am still sorry of ." -- Katy Howard, Dusseldorf, Germany. "That made me cry...its so sad..." -- KM. "Really amazing story. I like it." -- Brian Hunt, London. "I have to agree with Steve (within the previous reviews) as i do read alot of short stories myself (mostly to see what else is being published) and WOW this piece truly is quite an original point of view. BRAVO!! " -- Frank Zubek, usa. "This story will educate people not to abort, this story will alert people about the pain of the child who want to come out from the placenta to see the light of the globe, this story will aware people about the worth of existence��.i.e the value of life, Thank u author for educating us through a good story��..You proceed. Best of luck" -- Shukla, Kolkata, India. "Where is the story dear author?" -- ami kajal, Kolkata. "This message is to �ami kajal � Kolkata� who does not have the mind of reading and eyes for looking, that is why he can�t understand �where is the story.� Now requesting to Mr PPM - the author, not to reply this blind and heartless people I want more & more good stories from you. Take care" -- Shukla, Kolkata, WB, India. Time Ripper by P J Lawton (1) "I copied this work and got an a star 4 it. SHAME" -- matthew. Thinking About My Father by Kevin Myrick (4) "Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England. "Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England. "Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England. "Hi, its good to write about your emotional feelings and sometime in life we are hurt. My own father died when i was only 13 years old and it feels like it only happened yestoday. Life is too short, my brother died 3 years ago and my mother died last year. We will always remember the ones we love no matter what good or bad that they had done. My elder brother, he treated us with respect and was a father figure. No matter what, believe in God - and you sister may be looking at you as a responsible father figure. - God Bless you and your family." -- Amy , Hayes , Middlesex, England. The Classic Good Guy by Lyss Von Puttkammer (1) "Hi my dear talented friend !!! I value your comment . So, please read my six Short Stories in this website by searching my name � Partha Pratim Majumder and send your feedback. Kindly remember that it is Y O U , for whom my pen walks thoughtfully. My E-Mail is : [email protected] / [email protected] " -- Partha Pratim Majumder, Kolkata, India. Syberg by Lawrence Peters (1) "I like it lawry...nice as always ;)" -- PiXie. Sonnet 35 by Jannah Akira (2) "Not a bad story. I liked the way you let the characters narrate. For one thing it was too long... next time you submit really long stories just cut them up... like submit 2000 words at a time... because I personally can�t stand reading off a monitor for long periods of time. Anothe complaint would be your sentence structure. Most of the time it felt like someone with really bad English speaking skills was telling the story. Although with the sentence structure and length of the story I enjoyed it. Good job and fell free to read/review any of my stories/poems." -- ryan severud. "Well, excuse me for my english. I realise some of the mistakes but too lazy to correct them. Maybe next time, I'll work a little bit. Thanks for reviewing anyway. I had reviewed your page i guess. Actually, i too cant stand reading too long story!" -- Akira NJ. Prince And The Porch Swing by Seleta V Johnson (1) "Very good. touches the readers' heart." -- Forrest. No Crib For His Bed by Seleta V Johnson (1) "It was my greatest honor and privalige and HAPPINESS to be married to this GREAT LADY. She was all and more than her writings. I have NEVER known as loving and compassionate a person as she was. It was real, from her core. Not a speck of pretension in her . She passed very hard in our bedroom on May 25th of 2005 at 9:10 pm. She was surrounded by her friends and a terrible night it was truly. Almost three years has gone by and still I mourn. She was the only and last woman I will ever love. I just wait now till we can be together again, either in the next life, or at least dead together." -- Brian Burdick, Miami, usa, Fl. My Birthday Treat by Mungo Faust (1) "WOW....I like this. I love this line "Cerulean blue eyes that seemed to hold the secrets of the universe and the twinkling of a zillion stars. I had never seen eyes like them before and I fell so deeply in love with them." WOW!" -- KM. Living And Leaving by Partha Pratim Majumder (5) "Very interesting, loved the association of the life and the questions after death of the 3 people. Something to think about..." -- Susan Fisher, Brandon, FL, USA. "- Susan, Thanks a lot for your feed back. You may pl. read my other 7 stories. You may like them. " -- Partha Pratim Majumder, Kolkata, India. "Nice prose.... meaningful end... short story in true sense. Really good." -- Anjali Mustafi, Jamshedpur, India. "Again you have written another fine piece. Your development of characters and plot is wonderful. " -- e. rocco caldwell. "Simply superb." -- Paul Sanders, USA. Killing Rohan by John C Popiel (2) "John, this is a great story. I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work, mate." -- Joshua Pawlowski, Adelaide, South Australia, Australia. "xc" -- scott. In The Womb Of A Bomb by Partha Pratim Majumder (4) "You have depicted humorous picture of a few people and their reaction over a suspected bomb in a smooth tone and light manner to manifest greater depth of a social fabric. Excellently written. Carry on the endeavor." -- Natalie Kennett, Dubai. "It is always a great joy to read you work...this was donw at your usual topic-notch ability. I loved the ending. I loved the spin on the red tape of government and the feel at sometimes we are jumping too quick to point to terrorists and mishaps! Well done." -- e. rocco caldwell. "Wonderful story. Highly appreciable. " -- Humayun Khurshid, Dhaka, Bangladesh. "Very good piece with interesting spin at right points." -- Gina Flowers, Toronto, Canada. Home At Last by Krista Weiss (1) "What an interesting shory story! It is realistic and it's definitely a situation women can relate to. " -- Adelma, Chicago, IL, USA. Future Shock by P J Lawton (2) " The plotline of one man or woman (or in this case a she) being able to see the future has been used hundreds of times in movies and TV shows and while I can't name any off the top of my head, I say this attempt at the genre was pretty lame. The opening paragraph is a nice hook, but then you start assuming the reader becomes skeptical and question happy, i.e. What made this day so unusual? It was the first time she saw the future. You also assume the reader cares why the our mighty heroine "she" runs just after daybreak. Does "she" only run after daybreak to avoid smog and congestion because of her asthma? If so you should've put it in as a detail and then it wouldnt stuck out so much. Give "she" a name. (Names are kinda important ya know). Also "she" finding a newspaper on the beach is unrealistic. I don't think many people would leave a newspaper on a beach. Finally you gave the ending away. It wasn't exactly a Future Shock." -- Steven. "I have never heard such a thing about seeing the future in newspapers. The Shocking part was that the local tourist was none other than the main character. She was found next day on the beach. This is truely amazing!!!!!!!!" -- Pennyrella, Sterling Hts., MI, USA. Don't Let Your Horseshoe Hit The Plum Tree by Seleta V Johnson (2) "This is some of my grandmother's best work. If you don't already know, she died about a year ago of cancer. I miss her to this very day. It still bothers me that her boyfriend at the time didn't respect her final wishes because he's a ruthless bas****. I'm sorry... She has written so much in the past that has touched my family and 1 for years. May God rest her soul." -- Emily, TN, USA. "Seleta was my wife. I am the "ruthless bas**** that was married to Seleta. I was also the guy who took care of her till the end. She died in my arms. Her two daughters refused repeatedly to come to see her before she died, even though she begged them to.This comming month will be 4 years that she's been gone and I've yet to go out with another woman. She was the most wonderful Lady that I have ever known. She was one of the very , very few of us who died with a super clean soul. We are all born with a clean sheet of paper for a soul, but very,very few of us depart with it still bright white and clean. She was one of those that did it. I still love her more than anything else in the world. I still treasure her memory and would never do anything to dirty it. I love you Seleta. Your husband, Willie" -- Brian Burdick, Miami, Fl, USA. Dake by Jannah Akira (4) "it's cool" -- Aki Mizuka, kangar, perlis, malaysia. "don't you just love the ending? i can't believe i made such ending too" -- Akira NJ. "Sweetheart,I think you should learn english first before you write stuff for this website because your work is not that great and your stories are boring. However,you are a very sexy asian girl and i would like to love you long time if you no what I mean." -- someone who desires you. "See, I know there's something wrong 'bout this one... but i'm so lazy to correct them. So, Maybe i'll do it later" -- Akira NJ. Cogito, Ergo Sum by Erasmus Flynt (2) "I got lost in this story and was very impressed by your thoughts and opinions of how everything works. You are going to go on to bigger and better things some day." -- Moses M. Constable. "Wow...brilliant! My friend Moses told me about your writing and said "you should check one out his work" Very dark and disturbing. I loved it. Nothing better then the internal thought process. Great job!" -- ryan severud. Time For A Killing by Gregory Jackson (1) " Well the last paragraph was a dieing attempt to beat a dead horse. Language of the narrator strongly clashed with the words of the characters.(don't thesaurus words) To further the clash, the main character was protrayed as dumb but also a crafty serial killer, they don't mix. Why would a women marry a man that lets his grandfather unrinate on him. The Jerry sounds to be two different people. Dumb and brillant. The Grandfather also is two people: Viloent evil man, and a feeble old man that can't go to the bathroom. A few more well thought out drafts would fix it up to a great story. Also remember the gross out factor shouldn't make the story, it should only highlight it. Good luck. " -- Jonathan, fort worth, tx. Trail Of Hope by Matthew Hooper (5) "Well Grammar Check, and how old are you would be first. If your under 14 then this is great. If not, maybe 6 or so more drafts would do ya. If you create your own world you need to explain it. How do your orcs differ from other writer's orcs? You need to fix that first paragraph, that is what sells a reader to finish the paper, it opens a contract that the story should stick to. Fix up that first paragraph, it seemed to be very week. (hundreds of yearS. Are not is TENSE, and so on.) Then you break the story in the second paragraph, who is WE? build build build. This story will make it but this seemed to be a skeleton of what it should be. Good luck." -- Jonathan, fort worth, tx. "Granted, ur dislexic but it is a bit weak. That other guys tellin the truth it a bit weak 4 a skeleton its got no support, if u weren't there tellin me who was who i wuldn't no. Soz mate" -- Panda, camberley, UK. "yo, Jonothan, u d*ck, he's dislexic, cut him some fuck*ng slack okay" -- Dead Man. "U aint gonna want me and dead man against ya, it aint pretty. So please wont u shut the f**k up!!" -- Marsander. "ok u guy who mock my work go f... ur self i dislexic and panda go scre. a pig" -- Matt. To Whom Beauty Holds by Skyler Drevan (2) "Hello, Skyler! This proved to be quite good. I enjoyed it immensely. Marilyn reminded me of Marilyn Monroe who--I'm guessing--you probably got your inspiration from. I have only a few nits, so here goes: "In a fit of anger drunkenness and depression..." There should be a comma after anger. "Clara left the bathroom even more worried that her boss has completely lost her mind." That should be, 'that her boss had completely lost her mind'. "He told of told Clara of old media reports that Marilyn..." That should read, 'He told Clara of old media reports that Marilyn...' "...Marilyn had had a meltdown and was on the brink of a colossal disaster." Perhaps you mean here the word breakdown. "There were several imagines that ran through their collective heads..." That should read, 'There were several images...' "There were several imagines that ran through their collective heads as to what was going on in the eerily room." I think you mean here, 'eerie'. "She could blink or smile any more." I think you mean here, 'She couldn't blink or smile anymore'. I don't see why you don't write more short stories, as you've obviously got a knack for it. Keep up the magnificence. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI. "Thank you so very much, Michael for your review of my piece. I have looked over my mistakes that you pointed out and corrected it. I will try and repost it here as soon as possible. I must add that you are correct. I did derive the character of Marilyn from Ms. Marilyn Monroe. My fascination with the slain beauty runs far deeper than you can imagine. I hope I didn't sound like a psycho. In any event, thanks again for your review and corrections. I really appreciate it." -- The Author. The Unfortunate Magician by R Campbell (3) "Oh this reminds me an awful lot of "Mario and the Magcian" by Thomas Mann. Same theme and everything. A hotshot control freak magican wows the crowd for a little while, but soon he is found to be a fraud and more style then substance. Are you sure you didn't tweak some things in "Mario and the magican" and come up with this? I'm not accusing you of anything, I've just seen this plot before. This magican story is better though because it's alot less wordy then Mann's version. Course I would've never read "Mario and the Magcian if I wasn't in a world lit class." -- Steven. "I really liked the story...it started off quite innoculously, almost comical then gradually got creepier and mysterious until it became almost demonic. I felt a bit deflated at the end however, since it paced fairly well then stopped with no sudden revelation or explanation, apart from a cop-out sentence that says "Magic doesn't exist...or does it ?". I think you could have ended on something a bit more tangible, even fantastical (ie..he was the devil or something). Apart from that, it was a good inventive story and one I wished I'd thought of myself !" -- Harvey Kennett, Chelmsford, Essex, UK. "The "Or is there" ending is almost as bad as "It was all a dream." A few blunders and unwarranted style changes made it a bit weak, I'd say a few more drafts should fix it. What was the central Theme or Idea? It to me is only a flash of story and nothing else. Good start though, good luck." -- Jonathan, fort worth, tx. The Surprise by Shelley J Alongi (1) "Greatly written, but soft conflict if any exists. Just wanted more I guess. Older people probally find it quite pleasing." -- Jonathan, fort worth, \. Strangers In The Mist by Nur Syafiqah A Jaaffar (8) "Hi, Your prose is so mature that I can't believe you as a kid of 12. Wonderful. I am a professional with writing skill from India (46 yrs.). Pl. read my 6 stories after searching by Author ( Partha Pratim Majumder )and give yr. feedback. Grow to fame and success, P.P.M" -- Partha Pratim Majumder, Kolkata, India. "I am a seventh grade writing teacher, and no student I have ever had approaches your talent. Please persue writing as a career. You are remarkably gifted." -- Marisa English, Fayetteville, NC, USA. "Hie! Your writing are totally WHOA so bang! continue writing and wish you all the best kayys? hope you may succeed as a writer in the future. you've got the potential dearriee. jiaayouu ((:" -- your angel. "Thanks, guys for taking time to read and review it!really appreciate it x))" -- Syafiqah. "Too long... but interesting" -- Kasthuri Senbagam, Singapore. "Dis is really damn good, when I read this , I totally forgot dat a thirteen year old girl is writing this. You are a professional writer. Continue writing and Kudos for eva....." -- Nurunjumana, Singapore. "I want to grow up to be a writer like you. You know what i meant, don't you?" -- Cherie, Singapore. "its really good, you're extremely talented. please read my stories as well. they are under the author Kiara Avalon. I'm working on a story that i call Ayame, and i'd really like for you to read it. Although it isn't as formal and high in vocabulary as your story, i created to be an audience for young children. Please read it and give your thoughts on the plot of the story so far. " -- Kiara Avalon. Oil On My Mind by Charles Evans (1) "I got the money Saturday and it was on time for me take care and send a line or two i bet you are having a great time." -- Horace Moning, Dallas, Texas, U.S.A.. Eighth Day by Erasmus Flynt (1) "This story is very, very intersting. I'm not sure if I understand it completly, but i really enjoyed it. Your style is great, it relaxes me for some reason. You can e-mail me at this adress: [email protected]. I'd really like to hear your thoughts, so please do e-mail me. Keep up the good work." -- Moses M. Constable. 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