www.storymania.com
Storymania Logo

 

 

Short Stories - Reviews




Short Stories Reviews
Poetry - Reviews
Novels - Reviews
Plays - Reviews
Screenplays - Reviews
Songs - Reviews
Non-Fiction - Reviews
Essays - Reviews
Foreign - Reviews
Reference - Reviews
Children - Reviews
Genres - Reviews

Voices by Jack Linton (3)
"Good story! I was a little confused at the end, but over all I really enjoyed it." -- John, Hattiesburg, MS, USA.
"Very good! The story kept my interest all the way through." -- cindy, hattiesburg.
"Another great one from the best author ever!" -- Susie Jordan.


My Message Of Caress by Jacqueline Anel Sheppard (1)
"This story is eye-opening. I just hope you can write more like this!" -- Bernay.


Lessons by Albert Davis (2)
"This is a really good short story, I like it a lot. I liked the way the words came in one breathe, like every word was important, and it gave me a distinctive look at it's story type, and I sometimes write my poetry that way. If you didn't mean for it to be so, still, know that a lot of people like it. Me in line # 1." -- Kimberly.
"Thank you Kimberly, I don't often get the time to respond to comments concerning the things I write, but I do appreciate any and all comments that are given. I also enjoy a number of the stories that I find aon this site. I am just beginning to explore the poetry entries. peace out!" -- Al Davis.


Tuck And I Steal A Boat To Go Catfishing by Matthew Dean (1)
"I liked this story a lot. I am a fisherman as well, and I probably would have been doing the same thing that you guys were doing. It is always better to fish out of a boat than off of shore. I had fun reading this story." -- B.J. Kreml, Normal, Il, U.S..


The Night We Saw The UFO by Matthew Dean (4)
"And award for worst title of a short story in the history of ever...." -- Tyrant.
"There is a difference between a fictional short story and autobiography. I suggest you learn the difference" -- TheCritic.
"I liked your story. Very readable, short and descriptive at the same time. That is usually hard for most people to do. Short stories can and often do relate to the author's personal experience. " -- heidi, Houston, tx, usa.
"Don't care what anyone says, you've explained yourself. And the distance between Tampa and Britain - well i often see them and i don't like them. You know once i was laying in bed without the curtain at 2 0'Clock in the morning, when i thought i was looking at the moon when suddenly it moved so fast i relized that it was a flying saucer. i called my sons and they saw it too. You know what, at 2 0'clock in the morning while we were looking out of the window, my son Caught 2 boys breaking into my hushands car. Somebody in that flying saucer wanted us to look out. They are very clever." -- Amy, Hayes, Midd;esex, England.


Scott Decides To Teach Us How To Break Horses by Matthew Dean (2)
"The author should stick to the media he knows. Write code - not stories. This has got to be one of the most juvenile efforts I've read. " -- Bert Paradis, Manchester, NH, USA.
"I think the writer should be able to write whatever he wants. It's just a bit of fun! You shouldn't get so uptight about other people's writing - if they enjoy it, let them get on with it." -- Lisamarie, Brasted, Kent, UK.


Night Run by Song Wright (2)
"i have no idea ho to read this story- but i would love too!" -- Angela.
"Sorry - i figured it out- i'm an idiot " -- angela.


How William Fell Into The Septic Tank by Matthew Dean (3)
"Somehow I don't think it's a coincidence that the story entitled "Do Bears Shit in the Woods" is just below "How William Fell into the Septic Tank". I may have something more constructive to say later." -- EC Allen.
"Your septic was exposed like that? Didn't it stink? Isn't that horribly unsafe? Give us some more fishin' literature. You like them big cats? What knd of crops you growing? Did kids grow reefer out there?" -- Jarvis.
"Once again, there is a difference between autobiography and a fictional short story. Your spelling needs some work, and you are missing some words (eg, "...my dad it just old....")" -- TheCritic.


How I Talked My Brother Into Digging by Matthew Dean (1)
"Good God...do you pay drunken trolls to name your stories for you?! Make them snazzier, more ambiguous, and sexier overall. Then I shall read about all your madcap adventures with unidentified flying septic tanks and how your brother William fits into it all." -- Tyrant.


Reflections by Jennifer Nobile Raymond (5)
"Oh my God... it was just amazing! I could feel the clear descriptive images. I felt that I was actually there, viewing the entire scene. I have to say, this is one of the most quickest love scene pushers I have ever read." -- Jackie Sheppard, Vancouver, WA, USA.
"Thanks Jackie! This was a stretch for me - I'm not inclined to write erotic stuff - but it was fun!" -- Jennifer, New York, NY.
"That was absolutely brilliant. I found myself actually holding my breath at one point. Well done!" -- Ka_sey.
"Excellent stream of consciousness. Great eye for detail. Excellent way of letting the reader share in her feelings.Well done." -- Steven R. Kravsow, CT.
"Excellent! One of the best romantic shorts I've read." -- Robert K. Tarquinio, Santa Monica, California, USA.


Stolen Innocence by Deb Meyer (2)
"Finaly I've read a 'Storymania' submission worth reading.Thanks Deb. Keep up the good work. " -- Bert Paradis, Manchester, NH.
"Hi Deb - I liked this! Good action, and I liked the characters - believable dialogue. Keep it up!" -- Jennifer Nobile Raymond.


Night Of Living Hell by Paula M Shackleford (8)
"Hi there Paula, I know the difficulty in receiving critism, any kind of criticism, so I've taken the time not only to read it, but to also criticize it in a hopefully constructive way, and that's because I'm really a nice guy. I'll only do a little tweaking on grammer so you don't shoot me. Since you have other stories I'll critique upon the stories themselves. First thing first, Saturday Night is not a full sentence, it is just a noun, and has no verb thus it can not be a sentence. I can't be 100% certain so you may wish to check this out, but I think it would work much better if you started Saturday night... and then tack on your next sentence to it. Next point that I should make is that whenever your reflecting on the past you must always use "was" not "is", otherwise you'll kill your story for lack of coherence. One last thing I'll dare to say, and that is the word "mum" jumped out at me. I don't know if you're English or your character is, or it was just a typo, I'll check even more closely to find hints of British, but if neither you or I find any and it sounds perfectly American and you sell it to an American audience I would suggest changing it to mom or mother, or some other American equivalent. God, I hope this helps you, rather than annoys you." -- EC Allen.
"Hi again Paula. I still can't figure out where you or your character are from, but I can tell you this, if you are trying to use the present tense in your story, it doesn't work, switch to the past tense and you'll save yourself some grief. Also check, check, and recheck your spelling, it may be that they are just typos, but typos are like a torpedo, you'll never see it coming but it will sink your ship all the same. For example in your story I'll point out two examples: 1. She looked at me as if I were an escaped "metal" patient (Sorry but I get images of a robot leaping off the operating table) 2. "butchy" was Martini (Be sure to change that, I hope you meant bitchy, the way it looks now means that Martini is a lesbian. Good luck in your corrections if you choose to take my advice." -- EC Allen.
"Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate that you took the time to give me it. I'm Scottish, as is my character, hence the use of the word "mum". Thanks again." -- Paula.
"Hi Paula - This is a cute story! I liked the internal monologue in the character's voice. I agree about the tense - make sure you choose just one and stick with it." -- Jennifer Nobile Raymond.
"The story is entertaining, but there are a couple of errors. There are some spelling errors as well as grammatical errors." -- B.J. Kreml, Normal, Il, U.S..
"i didn't read the story, just that EC ALLEN writes big reviews huh? i found it funny." -- sunny, DC.
"It always makes me laugh when people critiquing grammar have grammatical/spelling errors out the wazoo in their reviews. "When your using past tense-" Ha....ha....ha." -- Tyrant.
"not bad. not an earth shattering topic, but atleast it was honest enough and direct to the point. the ending was sort of a letdown wished something more dramatic had happened." -- sunny, dc.


The Lesser Evil by Nan Deyo (3)
"Nan, I found this to be an engrossing, dark, well written piece. Your descriptions are dead-on, characters are alive and interesting. Good job!" -- Jennifer Nobile Raymond, New York, NY.
"Great story, kept me reading. Keep up the good work." -- Kate, Pensacola, FL, USA.
"Could i know how to contact the author. I need some help." -- Aadarsh.


Family Genes Considered by Richard Koss (1)
"This was great, your one of the only great writers left on this site that is worth reading. Your essays are very intelligant and have very good points. Keep this up. " -- moses constable.


Glass by Shelley J Alongi (2)
"how utterly deppressing!... but I liked it, I did :-) good show" -- Hu Long Wai (Veronica).
"okay. didn't really move me, couldn't relate to it emotionally." -- sunny, dc.


The Woman by Shelley J Alongi (7)
"Very descriptive and powerful. Good job." -- Meg.
"COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL" -- Hu Long Wai (Veronica).
"Shelly, what a powerful story. All senses described beautifully - a delicate handling of an intense subject. Very moving." -- Jennifer Nobile Raymond, New York, NY.
"Very good, Shell Bell, very good. I will keep your woman in my mind for a good while. God bless. Pastor Helion" -- Pastor Helion.
"Beautifully written, I have tears in my eyes and the images you have created will stay with me." -- Talynn.
"Powerful !!! U have beutifully brought out the pain of war." -- Alvin, India.
"Wow. I forgot I wrote this. Something made me think of it so I went and found it. May they all rest in peace" -- Shelley, Burkburnett, tx, US.


A Better Place To Be by Steven R. Kravsow (6)
"Very sweet." -- Jennifer Nobile Raymond, New York, NY.
"I adored this story. Working in a nursing home, it really struck a cord with me. Very well done Steven." -- JT.
"Very touching and beautifully written story. A pleasure to read, Steven." -- Tammy , Virginia.
"Steven, I truly like this story. It reminds me of the poetry of John Keats where the dream is better than the reality. I love your descriptive detail. Keep writing...*S*" -- Teresa, Kentucky.
"BORING VERY BORING " -- mac.
"this sucks" -- studen.


The Smart-Ass Shall Inherit The Earth by John C Smith (4)
"���InterestinG���" -- Hu Long Wai (Veronica).
"Hahahahahahhaha" -- Meg.
"neither good or bad. it just exists." -- sunny, DC.
"The title was very much the best one in the bunch. If I were you I would key his car when he's not looking." -- Jenny , Normal, Illinois, McLean.


Sad Poem by Sunny (1)
"Started to read and thought oh no! Jack Kerouac stream of consciousness bullshit. Then you took me away or in I should say. Great fresh Work!" -- F.J. Gouldner.


Splitting by Paula M Shackleford (8)
"I loved it! Is this a fictional experience?" -- Meg.
"Thankfully, it was a fictional experience! The truth is, I started writing it at three o'clock in the morning yesterday and I had no idea how it was going to end until about five minutes before I got there. But I was pretty satisfied with the ending!" -- Paula, Hamilton, Scotland.
"I'd be grateful for any feedback on this story or any of my others (see list above) so please don't hesitate to review my stories. Thanks!" -- Paula.
"How cool! Never saw it coming, but loved it when it did!" -- Jennifer Nobile Raymond, New York, NY.
"Thanks a lot Jennifer!" -- Paula.
"Nope, you lose. It is no longer cool to make transsexual people the butt of jokes. Get a clue. With all the crap that non-trans people do to trans people, she WOULD be a lot more mature. Certainly a hell of a lot more mature than the vast majority of society that would rather terrorize trans people and keep themselves in gender prison, rather than encourage gender freedom for themselves and others." -- Clyde, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
"I appreciate your opinion and all but don't take it so seriously! I'm sorry if I have offended you but it wasn't intended in that way." -- Paula.
"Hi there once again Paula, I do hope you've received all my two-cent reviews as well as my hopefully informative e-mails. All I wanted to say concerning this story, is if you're not trying to influence someone's opinions about a certain topic, in this case transexualism, I wouldn't worry about what anyone like Clyde think's, though I wouldn't give him your personal home address if you know what I mean. It may be that Clyde likes to dress up as a woman, and takes a lot of grief because of it, thus is highly sensitive to anything written about his kind. But unless you're going out of your way to say all transexuals are evil perverts, or something else scandalous I wouldn't worry. It's not worth worrying or even saying your sorry if people take it the wrong way despite an accurate explanation on your part. Good luck in your writing Paula, and remember you always got a friend in EC Allen here, whether you like it or not." -- EC Allen.


Charlie And Mrs. Miller by Richard Koss (10)
"Great twist at the end! Good job!" -- Meg.
"R.L. Stine used the same damn twist in a goosebumps book, and I'll assume it's been done before that, too, so you get no brownie points from me on originality. Your style is pretty good and descriptive, so I can tell if you put your mind to it, you could write fairly tightly. " -- Tyrant.
"Oh ok, so we have Tyrant, who trashes peoples' work on a daily basis, for reasons such as "no originality". He read Goosebumps. Riiight. THAT makes sense." -- Meg.
"Thank you Meg - I appreciate your kind words. As for our young and gifted Tyrant, there are hardly any themes or plots that are completely original. I found R. L. Stine's works in the children's section of the library. I think it is quite acceptable for a fourteen year-old to read his stuff.- D.K." -- Dick Koss.
"There may not be any topics that are completely original but there are original stories, and judging by your work I'm sure that each of yours are ripped off from somewhere, it just takes time to find them. Know it - I wrote it...no you didn't you cock jockey...Old Joke. This one, I'm not sure but Tyrant is probably on the ball, then there's that Farnsworth Affair thing, probably a cross between the Murders in the Rue Morgue and The Fall of the House of Usher, that Fatal Perception thing...Paranoia in the Laundrette...clearly...like this one, I'm not sure about the others but I'll keep you posted. Shame on you Dick, you really are a butt conducting, hole mastering, tin can, tic tac, cracker degenerate copying lonely man with no mates and no imagination. Do everyone a favour and fuck off. Take "your" work with you." -- Phil, Dublin.
"Phil, I really have better things to do than get into a pissing contest with a young twit, but you are really full of shit. Who the hell are you to question my originality? You probably never read a full novel unless it was via Cliff's Notes. How you could find any correlation between my Farnsworth Affair and Murders in the Rue Morgue or The Fall of the House of Usher,(both of which I have read several times) proves to me you don't know what the hell you're talking about. You might as well say that anyone who writes a story about vampires is ripping off Brahm Stoker. Go do what you do best. Make some bombs. " -- D K.
"cute" -- Jenny.
"Hi my name is Eric de Leon, I'm from Guatemala (If you don't know where is my country, let me tell that is the first one in Central America).I'm studing english at IGA, right now I am in the advanced courses. I decide to take a course of reading and I had the oportunity to read three of your stories in my english class. I am glad to tell you that all the stories that I've been reading, your stories are the most intrestings, because you have a special way to wrote, and the endings allways are a such surprise. In this story you put to work the mind of the readers because we expect that Charlie were a person and that was fabiulos 'cause is a diferent story. Thannks for making laugh for a while and for enjoy the reading " -- Eric de Leon, Guatemala, Guatemala, Guatemala.
"Eric, I want you to know how much I appreciate your comments. I don't ever expect to make any money from my writing. But as long as I know there is even one person in this world like yourself, who enjoys reading my stories - I will continue to write. " -- Richard.
"fun" -- Anns.


Crushed by Paula M Shackleford (5)
"Flowed together nicely. Plus, you get major points for using the words "bum" and "snog". I just love British terminology!" -- Meg.
"I could totally relate to this story, as I have had crushes just like that. I liked the tone, as if you were talking to a friend. Looking forward to reading your other work!" -- Jennifer Raymond, New York, NY, USA.
"Thanks for those reviews. I wrote this story for two reasons - firstly, because it is an autobiographical story and I needed to get it out of my system. Secondly, so that everyone will understand why my regular stories tend to have a happy ending, because that is what I would have liked in real life. Thanks again. x" -- Paula, Hamilton, Scotland.
"truthful and moving. More please. AJ McKenna" -- ANNE MCKENNA, Dublin, Ireland.
"Hi there Paula, EC here once again. I hope this review winds up with a bit more pleasing color than the hard to read light blue, or the unappealing pea soup green and mud brown. Just wanted to say that you have a wonderful story flow, meaning your easily readable even if you were talking about ear wax. I've come to learn that your stories have a certain unique individuating quality about them whether they do end on a high note or a low one. That quality is a degree of romanticism, I won't try to describe more than that. It's excellent work, take my word for it, because I'm a fantasy writer and avoid the usual Sweet Valley High stuff like the plague, yours' is more Ann of Green Gables, and I'm certain you could pull off something like that if you culled all your ideas into one masterwork story. One last note, just because your on my romantic side and are my kind of girl. If you're still single and happen to be cute, you always got this Yankee. Good luck." -- EC Allen.


The General's Driver by Shelley J Alongi (2)
"the story is not bad, interesting/intriguing. the problem is you, your inner issues,struggles and viewpoints have seeped into the story creatin little whirlpools of distraction. egs, "first timid exploration" - in a general, "day would be long, exhausting, and, ultimately, rewarding" - bullshit optimism, he could lose 200 men that day and such a day is never rewarding." -- sunny, DC.
"Hi My Name Is ivavbr. " -- [email protected], Unknown, Unknown, Russia.


The Omega Pin by Kevin J. Miller (3)
"Um... i kinda got confused for the pint of this story.. it IS a stroy, right? I dunno...." -- Bobin 4 applez.
"This one lost me." -- Greg Olson, New York, NY.
"Hey! This is really funny story, I loved it. I don't know why these people complain, it's not that complicated." -- Ivana Milakovic.


Mabel by ~Blythe~ (2)
"Wow- Is this a true experience of yours?" -- Meg.
"That's really cool. It was written really well and sent shivers down my spine." -- Paula, Scotland.


Cybertalk by Paula M Shackleford (12)
"I found myself being sucked into this story, although I already knew how it would turn out. I really cared about Cassandra's feelings and I was hoping she'd get together with "her man". Nice job." -- Meg.
"You got me in with this one! A story about something we all wish would happen to us!" -- Blythe, Melbourne, Australia.
"Predictable, a tad boring, and lacking substance. Sorry." -- Tyrant.
"Just wanted to thank meg and blythe for their good reviews, I was pretty amazed considering I only put the story on the site 12 hours ago. And to Tyrant, sorry you found it to be lacking in "substance" but it is a lighthearted story, not some deep meaningful one.Sorry to disppoint you!" -- Paula, Hamilton, Scotland.
"I liked this story, I think you might have written it better but if you tried this story would have lost something. I can really relate to what you're writing, it was certainly worth reading." -- Carma.
"Thanks a lot Carma, I'm glad you enjoyed my story. Cool name, by the way, is it your real one?" -- Paula S, Hamilton, Scotland.
"All I wanted to say Paula is that Tyrant's wrong, even the most light-hearted spiritually uplifting stories can have great substance, insight, and meaning to them if they are written well, take Anne of Green Gables for instance, as I've mentioned before. If you haven't read that please do. If you do nothing else I advise besides that you won't be sorry and you'll live out the rest of your days happy. The only other thing I wanted to say is that I wish they'd get rid of these "light-colored" reviews, they're terribly difficult to read. " -- EC Allen.
"One final note, though it has little to do with this story. Coincidentally I was once infatuated with a girl named Cassandra "Cassie" Wilfong, who had the prettiest feathery-layered hair. I once asked her to join me as my escort to a friend's wedding reception, she would've accepted if it had not been for college work, she left soon afterward. Alas (sigh!)." -- EC Allen.
"May we all find someone who makes us laugh and smile and isn't a "spotty bloke" :)" -- Jerry George.
"Opinions can't be right or wrong, EC..." -- Tyrant.
"Of course you're right Tyrant. I was simply pointing out that just because a story has light-hearted themes to it doesn't automatically qualify it for the trash. That is not only my opinion, which can't be criticized for being either right or wrong, same as yours, but also simply a fact. I don't think even you can disagree with me there." -- EC Allen.
"Hey boys! break it up! or I'll be forced to do the Georgia High-Kick on both your behinds! :-)" -- The Cheerleader.


Lillie by Ben-Ibn Balzac (2)
"Gawd baby that is a wonderful story, i cryed, you have a wonderful talent, a wonderful heart, to be able to write such a touching story,, please dont stop,, write more baby,, i love you ,, heide" -- Heide, Kelowna.
"Needs a lot of editing. Break up into paragraphs and a basic story format: introduction, body, and summary. You have a lot of run on sentences. This story has potential." -- Kate.


It's Only A Hat by Pat G'Orge-Walker (2)
"I hee-hawed out loud. You should submit this to a Christian magazine. The "blessing dispenser" line nearly sent me over the top." -- Jane.
"Enhoyed this very much. I could actually picture these ladies and the Rev. One of them had to look like the church lady on the old Sanford and son show. " -- Dick Koss.


The Perfect Ending by Richard Koss (3)
"Great! I think the guy may have found the perfect ending after all." -- Paula S, Hamilton, Scotland.
"Yup - moral: the only way struggling writers can succeed in their career is ... :)" -- Hammund.
"Loved it! It made me smile. Ironic yet anticipated." -- M Smith.


The Dowry by Richard Koss (3)
"nice story. easy to read, although i've read SF much like this before." -- sunny, DC.
"I believe you probably have read something like this before, for this is DICK the KOSStomy bag. Piss is his name, shit is his game, ziltch is his writing fame, because his writing is lame, and he should be ashamed, his wife's on the game, he has himself to blame, and he's a wanker. " -- Dipso and G'diver the smooth survivors.
"fun" -- Anns.


The Box (2) by Nathan C Hedberg (1)
"Thanks to that spoiler-filled synopsis, I have no need to read the story. You just saved minutes of my life, bub. Thanks a bundle!" -- Tyrant.


They Are Here by Kate Kreutzer-Spath (2)
"hey mom,that was unbelievable!!!! i couldnt wait to get to the end and find out what was going on.you should write a book and have it published,you are amazingly talented mom.please write somemore,i love those kinds of stories." -- Tracie, tampa, florida, usa.
"Great story. Where can I get some of that stuff? Do you have these often?" -- Tom, FL, USA.


Drop And Give Me One! by John C Smith (2)
"Not bad. Maybe explain why Kolaras was so weak with upper body strength(plays soccer or another sport that requires only legwork)" -- Jane.
"good story, well written. xcept for why the other kid couldn't even do one pushup, that kinda blew the ending." -- sunny, DC.


Going Out by Saskia Dodd (1)
"This story was about nothing. I mean, NOTHING. I saw no purpose in "peppermint peckers". I mean, I thought you meant some kind of weird sexual toy at first, and then I realized that I was correct and lost all interest." -- Candace.


Carey by Saskia Dodd (1)
"This was very well written. I 've actually lived thru the same nightmare. It really touched home. Excellent!!!" -- D.Valentin.


Rosemary's Gift by Andy Smith (1)
"Interesting, the stuff of legends, not culturally accurate, but interesting nonetheless, shows imagination which isn't a bad thing at all. " -- Shelley J. Alongi, Fullerton, California, USA.


Wind Dance by Traci McCoy (1)
"Was looking for fiction and found an essay. " -- Mary Robinson.


Horseshoe And A Red Truck by Jock Pichette (1)
"well done, a fine insight of the earlier days lifestyle, and a fine example of kindness that is steadily diminishing as the years pass. ask Iny for her horseshoe story. " -- Bill Dow.


Cattin' Around by Mary Carol Dill Mary Carroll (2)
"why did you call the vet? kinda puzzling story, but not bad and it was short. " -- sunny, DC.
"OK, first of all, to answer the question in the first review....she took her cat to the vet to get him neutered!!!! Secondly...I would not call this story "racy" in the least bit. Your male cat humping your leg is not my idea of a 'break from celibacy'. Maybe you need to get out more. Since when is bestiality humorous? I think it's sick." -- Candace.


Going, Going... by Lisamarie Jones (1)
"A lot of potential here; the idea reminds me of C.S.Lewis somehow. One criticism might be that the 'twist' should be more of a surprise. It would be really effective if you tried to deceive us a bit more... As I'm sure you know, writing's about being a good liar!" -- Nick, London.


Sunny Money, A Collection by Shannon Pypper Leary (1)
"This story had a swing rythm from play to play. I rather enjoyed the word usage and character "Stran."" -- Sammy, Chicago, Illinois, USA


Fatal Perception by Richard Koss (3)
"Good story. There were a few difficult descriptions of action in the early part -- the wake and the first encounters. Transitions could be smoother between scenes. But you got me into the characters and revealed them gradually, the right speed. It worked well." -- Joel, California.
"Why do I do this to myself? Morbid curiosity I guess. You goddamned copying motherfucker. Bet you thought no-one had read "Paranoia in the Laundrette" you dip-shit. I'm going to have to report you to some authority or other, there must be a crime againt this sort of outright shitness. " -- Phil, Dublin.
"Hey Phil, Why don't you take that hard-on you've got and stick it up your ass. Paranoia in The Laundrette? Never heard of it. As for Know it, I wrote it, I never claimed that it was original. It's just a take-off on a stupid joke, I agree. So have the guy who made up the joke 90 years ago sue me. " -- D K.


I Closed My Eyes (2) by Lisamarie Jones (1)
"good story, just u used i a little too much! but keep up the good work!" -- Narcosis, billings, mt, usa.


Clyde's Lot by H E Gurlitt (1)
"Nice style. Vivid picture painted with minimum brush strokes. Thanks for introducing Clyde and sharing the atmosphere. " -- Ed Bruce, Essex, UK.


Deep Cutting by Shannon C. (4)
"Ok, I just wanted to say WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP THIS IS!!!!!! No, I'm kidding. I love my story, even though its a suicide story and I'm not supposed to influence suicide at any cost, I love it all the same. Byez, peaches!! =} Live Free, Dread Mondays!! =}" -- Shannon C., Columbia, Maryland, US..
"UM... are you OKAY??? i mean REALLy okay? LOL.. no, I thought you really got into the gorry stuff pretty well, and i saw her die as if i was watching a movie. keep it up" -- Hu Long Wai (Veronica).
"Shannon -- wow. Amateur writing yet a powerful scene. I must admit that your story is a very sensitive ; personally, I would have hesitated publishing this. But you did, and it certainly brings out emotion in its reader. Well done. " -- Sam Carter, Washington, D.C..
"I'm sorry but that just FREAKED ME OUT!!!!!!!! OMG it was sooooo good though. I sooooooooooo dont like "influence" suicide as well but it was still cool!" -- Sam.


An Unlikely Friend by Jennifer M Haynes (3)
"Makes my skin crawl. Was this the only purpose of your writing (?) then it was a nice try. Keep polishing your work. erika" -- H. E Gurlitt, Mt. Vernon, WA.
"At seventeen, you have a lot of time to improve your writing style, which is not too bad. I'm a little puzzled at your preoccupation with death. Read "the Sweater" and "It's a wonderful Life." Both somewhat morbid. Your poem about dying at peace had more class and substance. - mixed emotions." -- Dick K., Ohio.
"I think that this story is just a little morbid. I think that your writing is good, and I think you have the perspective of a serial killer down. " -- Thomas .


His Wife Could Eat No Lean by Mo Rogers (2)
"The author should remember to show, don't tell. Too little dialog for a story of this length. " -- Mary Robinson.
"Interesting choice of subject for a story, very image intensive. I liked it." -- Shelley , Fullerton , California , USA.


Cyn by Paula M Shackleford (5)
"Your writing is good and you should continue to work at it. This story is well written but the theme has been done many times. Strive for original ideas." -- Greg Olson, New York, NY.
"You've done better" -- Hu Long Wai (Veronica).
"I appreciate that opinion, but I would like to know where I have done better." -- Paula S, Scotland.
"She better not be cheating on me:-)" -- Jerry George.
"I hate to speak for someone else Paula, but I believe the problem Hu Long Wai had with it, is the p.o.v.. It probably should be taken out of omniscient p.o.v. and then told in the past tense. It would just make it sound better, but the writing itself is fine as with all the other stories of your's I've commented on so far. I could probably find a favorite if I was forced to, but this story isn't "less" than the others. Keep up the good fight, after all you should see the criticism I've received on the Cotton Tale, "Yikes!"." -- EC Allen.


His And Hers by Paula M Shackleford (3)
"Some of my friends who have read this have asked if its based on personal experience - well, in answer to that question, it's not, although I wouldn't mind getting trapped in a lift with a bloke like Craig!" -- Paula S, Hamilton, Scotland.
"I said it before, and I'll say it again. The majority of your fiction is centered around your current life experiences based upon your p.o.v.. What you should do is cull those stories, those experiences, those dreams, and aspirations and use them as the basis for one great novel. I have no doubt that with a little help it will work." -- EC Allen.
""It was really, really great--honestly." :) It has kind of a twilight zone mood to it that adds a subtle humor to the whole and justifies your tongue-in-cheek treatment of the kind of cliched romantic tension that is normally rendered with implausible realism. I also liked the M. Night Shyamalanesque (you saw it here first) twist at the end that redeemed what otherwise might have been a rather contrived scenario. Your stories seem to have been poured out quickly from a very full creative reservoir. This gives them a freshness, but it also precludes the possibilities of carefully crafted subtleties and word play. A little tweeking and this one could be a real winner. " -- Matt Holman, Groton, CT, USA.


Teaching Mindy by Mason Cole (1)
"Cute, but a bit too long, and the ending is predictable." -- Ivana Milakovic.


Rachel's Revenge by Ruth Gillis (3)
"Cute idea, but you need to concentrate on getting more dialogue into your story. At times, trying to be cute become too slapstick." -- Mary Robinson.
"I got a good chuckle out of this ... probably because I can relate to the emotions a writer goes through when those rejection letters arrive. I think I'll try this the next time I get one of those nasty letters. Thanks for the idea!" -- D. Richards.
"Enjoyed it; built suspense; Rachel was believable; clever development of her anger/disappointment. A bit heavy on details." -- Lennie Lankford, Birmingham, AL, USA.


Consider The Mule by Ruth Gillis (4)
"What a nice story. Very earthy. I can feel that cold wind right now. Keep up the good work." -- Charlie.
"A good visual rendition. Don't we all know at least one of these old folks? The voices are true too. I enjoyed this. erika" -- H. E. Henze, Mount Vernon, Washington.
"This was a tender, touching story that hit me in the solar plexus, as I'm dealing with planning for an elderly mother. Sensitive, and well-written." -- Lennie Lankford, Birmingham, AL, USA.
"Very smooth flowing and touching story, well written and insightful. I loved it." -- Al Davis, Columbia, South Carolina, USA.


Don't Bank On It by Paula M Shackleford (2)
"I would be really grateful for any comments anyone has on this story. Be warned though - if you are looking for some deep, meaningful story, go elsewhere,this isn't that kind of story, ok?" -- Paula, Hamilton, Scotland.
"I like meaningless stories, I mean the Three Stooges, absolute masters." -- EC Allen.


There are 53 title entries with reviews on this page.


Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50
 

Copyright © 1998-2001 Storymania Technologies Limited. All Rights Reserved.