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A Purple Jacket by Randall Barfield (1)
"I just wanted to let you know, you are by far my favorite writer on this site. The style and flow in which you write is magnificent." -- Emory L Griffin, georgia, USA.


The Perfect Execution by Dexter Smith (1)
"The beginning is more promising than the rest of this piece. Silly mistake in the third paragraph, second sentence - ....."I stood blindfolded,deafened, and mute," then follows.........."I pondered pleading........but saw in the captor's eyes no sign of pity"....... How did he see his captor if he was blindfolded? " -- Grammar Detective.


The Day The Evil Of The Band Died by Kayla L Jordan (1)
"Lmao, random and funny haha." -- Jayy Zappone.


Tenakahan-Story by Chloe L Batey (2)
"hey that's pretty good girly! too bad it's just a short story! Continue writing. peace out dear" -- Jake.
"hey, Jake! Thanks a heap. I'm currently working on extending it... just finding the inspiration. thanks for reviewing" -- Chloe.


Blood Of Tears by Christcross (3)
"Normally I wouldn't even bother to comment on something so poorly written as this and your other offering. From the spelling and grammar, it appears that you may be from another country and have obviously not yet learned English well enough to write at an acceptable level. I applaud your effort but encourage you to improve your English and check your spelling if you want others to read your work. " -- Grammar Detective.
"Just to let you know I am only using the browser of a PlayStation Portable, and it will not display spelling errors." -- christcross, somewhere, United States, Kentucky.
"You are in trouble if you have to rely on spell-check to teach you to spell. "As I was AWAKENED," not awoken. Then you need a comma after my room, not a period. Then... "I AROSE" ...then... "glaced" and I assume you mean GLANCED. Then.... "I saw something that made me dread".....dread what? Then..."the spheric BLACKNESS" If you want respect for your submission, at least take the time to review what you've written before you submit it. If you did review it before posting, all I can say is... God help you. " -- Grammar Detective.


The Puzzle by Zombie Eyes (4)
"Interesting...a little hard to read in places but a good story." -- km.
"Hi Zombie Eyes - an interesting moniker. I love the premise of the story - one worthy of the masters of horror however the story did not quite reach its full potential. I would leave this and re-visit it in a couple of months. The language needs polishing a little and there is come repetition but with polishing this piece could become a gem" -- Me.
"Wow, this is without a doubt my kind of story. I think this was a fantastic idea. It's one of those stories where you think, "Damn I wish I'd thought of that." However good as it is (and I read it aloud to my boyfriend who is working on a new snake viv) and we both really liked it, could I make a couple of suggestions because I think it could be better. firstly the technical bit, as already mentioned there is a hell of a lot of word repetition, with reading it aloud it jumped out from the page, puzzle and box are the worst offenders but there are others too. Secondly, I don't think the fact that he didn't see the picture works. It would be impossible to do a puzzle and not look at the design. I know you've tried to cover this by having a very dark picture with dark patterns but it just doesn't work. It's your story, you can have magic, I think the centre of the picture should only appear when the last piece is inserted. Now then the big one. I think the end was great ... but if it was my story I'd have the puzzle being a border with a black lined pattern on it, in the center of the puzzle is a square and I think the image that appears when the last piece is inserted should just be ... the time. Whether you make the changes or not.. this was a great read. I very rarely vote .. but I'm giving this a seven. Loved it, but think it could be improved on. " -- Sooz, Barrow, Cumbria, England.
"Oh...I don't like the new ending sorry. I really think the first ending was by far the best and this now ruins the whole thing. I would have left the last one in and - sorry I promised never to tell an author what the plot should be but...i would write something in that he often would not wear his reading glasses as, after 70 years, doing puzzles would become a bit repetitive so he kept the mystery by not wearing them. The hazy picture niggles him as it looks familiar but the passion he feels about making this drives him on. He reaches the end and is really confused as there is one piece missing and this has never happened to him. Scrabbling round in the box he finds it and grabs and drops it into place. The atmosphere becomes hushed as he reaches for his reading glasses and... Please feel free to use this or delete this or curse at me. I am an avid horror fan and a publisher but alas, not anhad anything publsihed for a couple of years so please use your own judgement." -- Me.


The Janke Show by Jack Masters Jack Masters (1)
"excelleint in every gregrd" -- willy willy.


Mrs:Gooddoer by Nicolette Walters (2)
"Listen to your mom. You'll bump into many guys just like this one as you go through life. You can't fall in love with all of them. Most of them will disappoint you anyway. I got pregnant when I was fifteen. Don't be a silly little girl. It's like playing with fire. The flame is lovely but it still burns when you touch it. " -- Emily.
"With so little words you made the whole world." -- Joy Joseph, Kottayam, Kerala, India.


God Is Dead by Jamar Graham (3)
"If God were dead then there would be nothing more..." -- needful.
"i thought your story was beautiful...and it really brought a realistic perspective to the omnipotent One. seems we have a hard time believing in what we can't see. I think your story will make people see God exactly as you portrayed him...part of something, part of everything. Well done. " -- km.
"Pretty well written Jamar. But this Turkish immigrant was definitely not God. The answer is simply this: God attempts to make everyone in His own image and likeness. With some of us, He just does a better job. " -- Richard.


Ace Of Spades by Joshua Meihaus (1)
"Nice piece of writing. It's pacey and carries you forward. One thing I would watch is word repetition, but other than that I good read, thanks. " -- Sooz, Barrow, Cumbria, England.


A Time To Live by Sooz (4)
"I enjoyed this. It was a bit confusing in some areas so I had to read a couple of times but it was good once I figured it out. " -- km.
"Thanks Kim, glad you liked it. Is there anything of yours that you'd like me to read in return? " -- Sooz, Barrow, Cumbria, England.
"This was a rather eerie piece. I also had to read sections of it over again, the early portions. When I first read it the beginning seemed kind of wooden, but after reading a bit of it over again and with a day's separation it didn't seem that way. It was a pretty good all around effort. " -- Michael Harris, Detroit, MI.
"Thanks for that, I'll have another look over it and see if I can make it a bit clearer. It may have felt wooden because I ws trying to get across his social incompetance without being too obvious about it .. but I'll see if I can tighten it up a bit. Thanks again, always happy to have some constructive crit, appreciated. " -- Sooz, Barrow, Cumbria, England.


What Kind Of An Idiot Commits A Robbery In Broad Day Light? by Matt Lenox (4)
"I read this first because it was the shortest of your offerings. My question is what kind of an idiot would write this and actually take responsibility for such worthless trash?" -- Lester.
"What kind of idiot has to read the shortest story an author has to offer and then judge it as if it was supposed to have meaning? It was a short little thing meant to lead idiots along waiting for an ending only to crush them when there is none. And you know what? I got an idiot to go for it and his name is lester." -- Lenox.
"wow, hey a robber who wants to be caught would commit a crime in broad daylight...sooo,why would a robber want to be caught??...'cause his life is so bad, prison would be better?? 'cause he's a masochist and he loves being tortured??? 'cause he just can't wait to be alone with a guard, even for an instant, so he can rip a guards throat open with his bare hands, even if he dies trying...lots of creepy reasons why." -- miss new york.
"I've wasted my time reading enough of your crap to totally agree with Lester. As far as writing goes, you are definitely an idiot. Even the format you've chosen is irritating to read. You know nothing about punctuation and paragraph structure. You think choosing the most bizarre and outrageous themes will overcome your writing deficiencies but they only magnify them. You are like the wanna-be artist who takes a bucket of feces and throws it against a canvas. After the mess dries, you then try to define what you've created. No matter how you describe it, shit is still shit. " -- Richard.


The Most Common Obsession by Jeffrey Lee Williams (3)
"I liked it a lot, the writing style seems to be pretty advanced, however, for all that drama, I would've liked to see a more happy ending, rather than a comedic one." -- Joshua Meihaus.
"What an interesting and slightly sickening story. I a actually 14 so I know what she is going through (a bit). I'm not THAT obsessed with my weight, but i know people who are. The writing style is interesting, and overall a very good story. I think that most teenage girls should read this because the standars we are supposed to uphold are insane at best. Barbie doesn't even have enough room for all of her vital organs!!! Keep writing! " -- Halle, Eugene, OR, USA.
"i is a very good idea i really like it and i hope that in future it will become a great movie" -- andreea, bucharest, romania, romania.


State Of Mind by Joshua Purdom (4)
"I say the origial review (your only review) before you had it pulled. Richard and Lester are right. You kids can't handle the truth. " -- Connie.
"I SAW the original review. Sorry about that. " -- Connie.
"It might appear that Lester, Richard and Connie have tapped the top on reviews, sucks to be at the mercy of a those who are above the rest of us. It also appears that those who speak the truth hide behind masks as though they were God.I wonder what weight that carries?" -- needful.
"Seems to me that at least we shameless critics use real names, (at least I do) and don't hide behind emotional adverbs like "needful," loveless, frantic, and paranoid, which describes most of you little insecure, wanna-be phonies. " -- Connie.


Project Code5-Rogers Park Quadrant by Paul B Kramer (1)
"This story is interesting and creative. It was written by my Uncle, who died yesterday. To be able to read his stories means a lot to me." -- chana Kramer, chicago, IL, America.


Invincible Rum by Anna Adamin - Raasveldt (1)
"Please forgive me if I'm wrong but I'm guessing from your name that English isn't your first language. If this is the case then please disregard the fact that this needs a good edit and that some of the phrasing is bulky and clumsily written. If English isn't your first language then regardless of the odd irregular tense it's damned well written. Interesting story. " -- Sooz, Barrow, Cumbria, England.


Intelligence Gained, Innocence Lost by Graham Reynolds (1)
"You need to stop watching stupid movies and reading pop culture crap. If you believe that man is significantly contributing to global warming than you are the one losing intelligence, not gaining it. Try reading my essay entitled "Save the Planet, More Fiction than Fact," which I researched and wrote more than five years ago. You might learn something. " -- Richard.


Figures by Sooz (2)
"This is a home run! One of the best I've read on this site in a long time. Marvelous dissection of the aging wonder. I know her I'm sure. " -- Richard.
"Thanks Richard for both the read and the comment, it's my first one on here in a long time. Recently got back into writing." -- Sooz, Barrow, Cumbria, England.


Broken Various Authors by David Doc Byron (2)
"Hey! I got your comment from my story "Infinity Bus". I sent you an email as well, you said you'd like me to submit my story to your magazine but you didn't post an email or say what magazine. Do you have a link? Let me know! Danny ;)" -- Danny Gonzales, Bremerton, WA.
"Oh btw, my email is dangrn77 at yahoo dot com, just put STORYMANIA or something in the heading so I know its not spam." -- Danny Gonzales.


Always And Forever by Kaitlyn Goodwine (1)
"So SO Good great job keep it up!" -- Matthew Mark@, USA.


There are 20 title entries with reviews on this page.


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