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Short Stories - Reviews |
Seven Eleven by Mia Angello (3) "Did know you were a bluesish country girl. Sounds like this oughta be spinnin in Tennessee!" -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. "That should say: "Didn't know" ... LOL" -- R. Bennett. "I am very fond of the blues, and expect to soon be living in the country--but am by no means country. The he in the poem was very country." -- Mia. Some by Mia Angello (2) "I really enjoyed this piece, Mia. Good work!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Nice job! Very easy to visualize." -- R. Bennett Okerstrom. Thanks A Lot by Amarjit Bhambra (2) "Hi AB the problem with song writing is if you dont have the music to listen to as you read the lyrics its hard, when I do song writing I'm lucky they send me the music and I put the words,dont give up whatever you do,you might be one of the next hit writers.Kind regards Diana Venditti" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Hi, Diana, thanks for taking time to read and for your kind comments on not to give up. That is very encouraging, i normally write peotry and thought i give it a hand in songs. Not bad for a first try. I suppose i can try a bit harder next time. Thanks a lot." -- Amarjit, Hayes, Middlesex, England . Mother Nature Why by Brion' O Neil (4) "don't fool with mother nature - we're all dealt a hand and have to make the best of it. nice questions brion." -- just a guy. "nice work, as usual- i guess these are questions that face all of us, not just the baby boomers. Would really make a good song." -- kavya. "great imagery....love it, Brian....welcome back, dear. I miss being here also. But been so busy lately!!!!" -- Dri. "Thank you ALL,for your kind support,I am greatful for this sight and all who belong." -- Brian O Neil (Brion' O Neil). By My Side by Brian C Lebron (5) "That's very sweet, is it a song?" -- Kavya. "Wonderful poem." -- Harry. "very sweet." -- baker. "You have a very unique writing style.I am enjoying your work on here so much.Keep 'em coming." -- Kathy. "i want to thank you all for the good reviews." -- Brian L. Breathe To Speak by Brian C Lebron (2) "This is awesome and very well put together." -- Kathy. "Hey,I appreciate the positive feedback.Thanx." -- Brian L. A Different Place by Brian C Lebron (4) "Nice poem!" -- Harry. "Thanx,for your good review" -- Brian L. "excellent imagery. i am a fan of your work." -- Nick Marshburn. "Hey thanx again,glad you liked it." -- Brian L. Emotion In Your Eyes by Brion' O Neil (4) "That's a really nice, powerful love song. Whoever inspires you is damn lucky!" -- Kavya. "can God be lucky?" -- Brian O Neil. "That sounds like a line from your other piece, the Only Gods. Does God inspire all your work?" -- Kavya. "It is his gentle breath that whispers in my ear, I only move the pen. When I read the finished piece and something doesn't fit or sound quite write, I figure that was my mind working and not really listening to him; I go to edit and he always makes it work. When I am finished with a piece I sit back in amazement, that I actually wrote it." -- Brian O Neil. Love Is Just A Word by Brion' O Neil (5) "I like this one alot. It flows really well and would really make a great song. Apt title and very true- we all have our own definitions of Love and sometimes they are not the same-I guess it takes a certain amount of courage to accept that. " -- Kavya. "So true, It also takes courage to admit that somethings don't work...the second stanza is totally rewritten, now, it fits the rest! Another gift from god." -- Brian O Neil. "yes, it's just a word, but what a emotion love can also be...the most beautiful and also the most painful ever!!!" -- Dri. "yes, it's just a word, but the meaning behind it is soo pure and soo beautiful, and yeh can be painful.. i know. well done, i think this would make a brilliant song, it flows really well congrats :-)....." -- david baker. "Wow Brion!!! Can you give me some advice on my songs?" -- Chassidy D, Holden, LA, US. I Loved You As A Child by Brion' O Neil (5) "hey brion, this is nice. really catchy. i can hear the music of the words. you record it yet? its a pity that 97 others read this yet none of them commented on it. " -- jersey mike, belgium. "Well Jersey Mike I cheated, this title has been a poem since last May. I just made the poem into a song dragging the review number along with it." -- Brion' O Neil. "this has always been one of my favourite......." -- Dri. "Aw, that's sweet, would make a good country song. Love the way you described the way your love grew, your wife's a lucky woman!" -- kavya. "nah, you didn't cheat - it was yours to start with. what you did was "edit" it, which is what we should all do with our work. please don't make it a country song though - sell it to springsteen!" -- jersey mike, belgium. Where I Am by Jannah Akira (3) "nice to see you again........hope you stay." -- Dri. "Hi Dri! I've been so busy lately. Have you read 'Just A Feeling'? I love that one" -- Akira NJ. "I like your first verse, I love all the rhyming. " -- Mitch. Mitsuku's Moon by Diana Venditti (5) "good work!" -- riley. "Hi Riley ,thanks" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Nice one here too. I like the oriental touch! Hope you dont mind but Sayonara is spelt this way!" -- NPillay. "Hi, NP thank you, I am glad you told me dont have jap. dictionary.kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Ah so !" -- Brion'. Lime Tree by Jannah Akira (2) "Nice sounding song. Lime is my favorite colour. besides black." -- ananymous. "thanks anyway for the review" -- Akira NJ. I Wish This Girl Was Mine by Donna Leigh Dennison (7) "I'm not a songwriter by any stretch of the imagination, but I do enjoy music and I think these lyrics are great. They seem to fit the genre of the time i.e. talking about the empowerment of the Southern Woman,of which I am one, and for that I love it!" -- D. G. Williford. "good to see a new voice, especially a southern one, God did grant them special qualities. liked this one, good work." -- echo. "I loved this just as much as I love southern women...they are the peaches of life!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "Really nice job...get a guitar and you're in business. See ya!!!" -- km. "Deb...you live in the south? Me too!" -- km. "Not bad, might need to be polished a bit if you're planning on using it as a song." -- kavya. "It's a real good start, but it's a little "choppy" and lacks a natural rhythm due to a mixture of short and long stanza lines. Edit until you can tap out a beat as you read it, this is constructive advice not criticism." -- Brion' O Neil. Bet You by Jannah Akira (3) "Akira, there is no excuse for what I did. I did not put your name on my last piece (Why do we write) because I could not remember it at all (shame on me). I was not sure about it and I thought it would be better if I ommited it instead of writing it wrongly. Can you please forgive me?? I did think about the "japanese girl" and tried to remember which poem of mine you had left feedback but I have so many that was almost impossible to go thru all of them. But I did think of you, my dear and I also want to invite you to stay in my life. Thanks for the nice feedback, ok? Keep in touch." -- dri. "hey! it's okay. nevermind about that. just make sure you we both continue to keep in touch" -- Akira NJ. "My Name is Juliet Adrian,i live in California,i have a big testimony to say to the people who have Womb problem, I have been married for five years without any child, nor pregnancy and so i became very sad and lost hope in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant and this really make life so hard for me and this made my husband to turn away from me.My sister in-law told me about Dr Erigo from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explained to him. He told me not to worry and that everything we soon be okay.He cast a spell and it was a miracle to my greatest surprise three days later my husband came back to apologize for all he has done and told me he is fully ready to support me in any thing i want,and Dr Erigo he gave me just soup from his temple and he also gave my husband some thing to rub before we made love.just few months later i got pregnant and gave birth to twins (boy and girl) we are now a happy family.i will advice you to email him now:[email protected] I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email:[email protected] if you are out there passing through any of this problems or predicaments in your life.his mobile number on what/apps:+2348071622371" -- Juliet Adrian, California, California, California. Another Distant Day by Brion' O Neil (2) "I love this one......it has a sequence. I mean, you did not get lost at all....but I don't know what is going on that it seems your latest pieces seem to be longer than usual?? Yes??not a problem, though." -- Dri. "i really liked this one...reminds me of something i've been going through.." -- Carla Thomson. Destiny Is Calling by Brion' O Neil (3) "no chorus?? Beautiful, Brian, as usual" -- Dri. "No, I did not really pay attention to what you told me about Bob Dylan, but will later on when I read it again. The one thing that I noticed was the cadence...it does flow as nice as his...I love this piece, Brian! Talk to you later," -- Dri. "I like the optional chorus the most. " -- Dri. Always Someone Else by Brion' O Neil (2) "Hi Brion, peace!!! Your right,its like that until you become adult, then we put the past behind,and live for the person we are with,like it,regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. "Hi, drat I wish I could here the music that goes with your songs,send some demo's to Kenny Woodman care of EMI in London, you never know.Kind regards Diana" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Teacher For The Night by Brion' O Neil (1) "very sexy!!! Indeed!" -- Dri. I Keep On Falling by Brion' O Neil (1) "very sad!" -- Dri. Dancing On Rainbows by Brion' O Neil (3) "I love this one. Sweet and cute. It makes me feel like dancing...." -- Dri. "I felt like i was there,it takes my eyes and sets them to a image but yet you make the image seem so real.It;s not only good it's great" -- Jay Little, Harrisburg, pennsylvania, U.S.A. "Thanks Jay, this means so much to me to be appreciated. I just wish you were a judge on the contests I enter. Thank you again ! " -- Brian O Neil. What's There To Kill? by Tim D Ryan (1) "a part of a lyric from Hendricks..."I'll know when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to"...careful." -- Brion' O Neil. Ten Times Sweeter by Brion' O Neil (5) "like the title, the poem is also very sweet....." -- Dri. "Have you put a tune to it? Sounds like a country-western song." -- Kavya. "I'm only a lyricist not a musician. I have plenty of music friends, but know one offers to collaborate. PRINT IT AND THEY WILL COME." -- Brian O Neil. "You should try and get a tune to it. Out of curiousity, is it tough to get someone to collaborate or is it just risky?" -- Kavya. "every opne seems to think they are not good enough or they have an ego and want to do only their own thing.I enter national and international contests, I have kudos, but havn't hit anything yet. " -- Brian O Neil. Shit On Me by Jannah Akira (8) "Hmmm disturbing, but quite entertaining none-the-less. Well done." -- La Longue Carabine. "Glad you like it! I'm shouting when i sing it" -- Akira NJ. "content rambles and if it is a lyric it does'nt rhyme and some bad choice of words...you don't need the vulgarities... but you will learn." -- Brian O Neil. "thanks for your review on A LETTER TO DADDY. That would be nice that so much hurt would turn into a song. Keep up your good work, Akira." -- Dri. "Thanks Dri. I would just turn my angriness and hate into a song and Brian, well, I had my rhymes for this song but it's kinda hard to play the guitar and make it sounds perfect" -- Akira NJ. "i agree some of the words i would change but i liked the raw emotion and anger - i can tell it was straight from your head to the page ...(or screen..) nicely done!" -- mikaela. "I like this poem because it expresses the roaring fire in you. It tells me that you're full of rage and passion.I would like you to take out all of your rage on me as we lay naked in bed.I promise I won't shit on you,unless you want me to but that may be a little to freaky for me.Until we meet again my little Asian sex kitten." -- someone who desires you. "This song is wild. How did you think of these lyrics?" -- Mitch. Don't Be Tellin' Me ( R& B Rap ) by Brion' O Neil (1) "I like this one. Like the day you put the words. Simple and clear. " -- Dri. We Need To Love You More by Brion' O Neil (1) "Hi Brion, it could be a great song, like to see a better choice of words,for me too much repitition , I would like to do a piece with you , that is of course if you think I have something to offer.Kind regards Diana V" -- Diana Venditti, Italy. Honey From The Tree by Brion' O Neil (1) "as usual a great work. The title is fantastic! Couldn't be better." -- Dri. You Were by Brittany Talmadge (2) "Hi, welcome to our group. I've written over 500 lyrics and if you want any help with yours let me know, otherwise I respect your newness and keep writting, you'll get better. I have to suggest to at least open up lyric sheets to as many SDs as you can and learn and study various styles and forms." -- Brian O Neil. "sorry...typo...CDs." -- Brian O Neil. Wind Blowing Through My Heart by Brion' O Neil (1) "nice! One of my favorites." -- Dri. The Same (Latitude) by Jannah Akira (4) "Work is good, but unless it rhymes, you just have poetry. Not my rules...that's how it is...research and keep getting better." -- Brian O Neil. "Whenever i wrote poems, it would automatically turn into a song with the guitar on my hand" -- Akira NJ. "Now all ya gotta do is come up with rhyme endings for your verses, the hardest part is done." -- Brian O Neil. "okay. Thanks Brian" -- Akira NJ. The Natural Part Of You by Brion' O Neil (2) "the imagery is perfect....beautiful, indeed! However, I would make it a little bit shorter. Perhaps I am not that patient even though I read it all.I would say it is enchanting!" -- Dri. "Shoot...I'm still editing and refinig it, then boom, here you are ! (refreshing) With the amount of words it will take under 3 minuites to get through...that's about right." -- Brian O Neil. Dat's All I Got (Back Off Baby) by Brion' O Neil (1) "my, this is different. I love the Chorus..." -- Dri. I'm Not Your Number One by Brion' O Neil (2) "Interesting the way you also write on a female perspective. I noticed the stanzas have different # of lines. Did you do that on purpose? Why don't you hit the enter buttom between the second stanza and the repeat chorus? It gives the reader a better lay-out. Just a suggestion, ok?" -- Dri. "The first two (intro stanzas) meet the contemporary standard of time before the chorus is heard - [7 to 10 seconds]is the average." -- Brian O Neil. Will You Say You're Sorry (When I'm Gone) by Brion' O Neil (5) "only who experienced these feelings, can really understand what you're saying. Only who truly loved can understand our souls and our writings. Only who truly loved, can tell he truly lived. Nobody else!! To experience true love is not given to everyone." -- Dri. "I hope from today we can leave our misguided bickering in the past and become friends,as we both know now that we are very different and in a world of infinite realities,neither of us are wrong ,so i hope you might give me you opinion on some of my pieces such as (A human life too short-Again and Again-Post world comas past-I feel like ive missed someone ive never met-The Netherworld.But dont judge them by your style.They are something different.I hope you enjoy mate.PS This is a nice piece. " -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast, N.Ireland. "Take my last comment as a challenge, mate...write one from the heart and not the mind!" -- Brian O Neil. "hey, I'm glad you two finally came to your sense:-) Brian, what have you changed in here?? The title is still the same. Thought you had changed into HER? - "Will she say she's sorry" as you told me??" -- Dri. "The second chorus is added." -- Brian O Neil. You Can't Fool Me Anymore by Brion' O Neil (4) "I LIKE THIS SONG AND TATTERED AND TORN AND IM WORKING ON THE MUSIC WHEN I MAKE PROGRESS I WILL GET BACK TO YOU BY E-MAIL. IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT I WOULD LIKE TO SEND THE TAPE TO YOU. WE CAN GO 50/50 ON MY VERSION OF IT, ONLY IF THAT'S OK WITH YOU? AND DON'T STOP WRITING YOUR GETTING BETTER,I HOPE I CAN HELP. " -- K. POFFENBERGER, USA. "here you go........this is the Brian I like....you are back!! " -- Dri. "SORRY BRIAN I DIDN'T MAKE ANY PROGRESS ON THE SONG'S AND I DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LYRIC'S." -- K. POFFENBERGER. "That's ok ! Whenever you can.after the songs are submitted to either the clearing houses or record companies, they change things around to suit themselves anyway.If you see the need to change something to make things work musicly , please feel free;after all it is a co-write situation. THANKS AGAIN ! " -- Brian O Neil. Sweethearts Lullaby by Brion' O Neil (3) "Very sweet...makes me sleepy ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz heehee" -- km. "KM...you are sweet and receptive! Thank you, again" -- Brian O Neil. "Very sweet, indeed, but not to sleep. It elicits love, passion, romance, not falling asleep. Well, this is me...brazilians seem to be more romantic and passionate." -- Dri. Send Her Down To Me by Brion' O Neil (1) "beautiful! A brandnew one? I like it!" -- Dri. Negative Buoyancy by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Well well mr stuart,have you gone all mushy,or is ther really a somebody you wrote this for?I do miss your intensity on the other world subjects ,but this is very good.Still i look forward to more of your Iraq Attack collection.peace" -- Texas Tom, Land of the free. "I'm shipwrecked at your sea... and I'm dealing with negative buoyancy... Come on SEL, you can do better than that. Negitive buoancy? Is there even such a thing? Maybe negative buoyancy is the reason why Einstein couldn't get any women " -- Steven. Lost Love (I Didn't Find Yet) by Jay Little (2) "good luck with that, maybe you should give me a call sometime. ;) nice work" -- rae. "I like it too. Don't give up...sooner or later, you'll find her." -- Dri. Like It Was Tomorrow by Brion' O Neil (3) "It is beautiful, especially when you say that you want to move into her arms and give what she needs...boy, this is sexy and yet so very sweet...I also like when you keep on going and tell her that you are there to plant a seed....what do you mean here?? It may have different meanings, it all depends the way people read it...well, this is writing...it does make people wonder and dream, right?" -- Dri. "I agree with DRI it does make you wonder and dream and you might not realize but some peope might have read your work and now live they life like it was tomorrow." -- Jay Little, Harrisburg, PA, U.S.A. "I would like to talk to you about tomorrow. I could not write what I write, unless I have been to the other side. " -- Brian O Neil. Jellybean Dreams by Brion' O Neil (1) "Nice song strong emotion. I know im only 12 but Il give ya a hint never include the persons name" -- Scotty. I Was Dark That Day by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "fierce piece! Holler, screamin' rock "n roll ?" -- Brian O Neil. I Didn't Know What Love Was by Stephannie S Stancil (1) "GOOD SONG I LIKED IT" -- K. POFFENBERGER, USA. Hidden Tears by Nash (1) "hey...this was interesting--what does the line about russian hands and roman fingers mean?" -- pearl. Gotta Runaway by Jay Little (1) "Boy, It's almost there. just add some words to yoor phrases, then it won't be choppy...it will flow then. The hash marks don't work for me . Try writing in verse form, it will read easier. Look at the lyric sheet in any cd,that's what I mean.This piece is good. " -- Brian O Neil. Critics Masquerade by Brion' O Neil (1) "I dedicate this song to critics, one and all." -- Brian O Neil. Burnin' Down On Me by Brion' O Neil (5) "I like it, especially the grapes part. A bit long, but nice." -- Dri. "this is good...I can hear a guitar as I read it!" -- e. rocco caldwell. "very good, very good" -- dw, VA. "Thank you all for liking it!" -- Brian O Neil. "Good song this is one of your best song's." -- K. POFFENBERGER, USA. By God Me by Brion' O Neil (1) "This is different. Good emotion. would love to hear the finished product. Bet you have a slow start and a catchy chorus." -- Louisa, aberdeen. Wait For The Ones That Are Thrown Away by Brion' O Neil (3) "in Church . . . might find what you are seeking there." -- dw, VA. "Dw,Yeah, that's where I met my wife. But, this is only fiction..a creativve mind at work." -- Brion' O Neil. "B-- ahh yes, very good then, very good." -- dw, VA. Thumbin' It Now Again by Dixie Wells (2) "Sounds like you have lots of experience when it comes to hitch hiking. " -- Steven. "Steven, had a few, i guess. not a good idea now--too dangerous. " -- dw, VA. Think For Yourself by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "Too many words, with no form, with too much rhyme. The chorus is much to long too.Chop out and edit and organize your form. If You want help, I'll help you...been doin' this for 15 years." -- Brian O Neil. The Other Side Of The Mirror by Brion' O Neil (2) "We have a lot of coincidences, don't we? First THE GIRL WITH BROKEN WINGS and now this one that also talks about MIRROR. Funny that we have the same ideas but at different time. I like this one, I LOVE THE TITLE and I think you did something great: you wrote REPEATED CHORUS. This does make it clearer, at least to me. Great work, as usual, Brian" -- Dri. "I have to admit i do really like your songs,very professional." -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast. The Most Powerful The Most Terrible. by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "get away from this political protest stuff...you are wasting a valuable gift...write with passion! This you can do , so do it, "for fuck sake" " -- Brian O Neil. The Church Of Decimation. by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "if you vanish your hate and anger and throw away yor daggers, you could be a world class act...violence,hate and protesting don't sell !" -- Brian O Neil. Tattered And Torn by Brion' O Neil (3) "I liked this. TB " -- Thomas. "how could I have missed this one?? Thanks for telling me. I too like it! The title is just PERFECT! i think a lot of people can relate...including myself. Oh well, this is past, isn't it?" -- Dri. "This thing was awesome man! Just perfect. I have to agree with Dri. I too can relate to this lyrics. i'm so curious about the rhymes. sing to me" -- Akira NJ. Shout ,Jesus To The World by Brion' O Neil (1) "Hey i think you might be interested in reading my pieces called (Yeah! Yeah!)and (The second comings )ill be pleased to hear your review." -- Stuart Eric Longridge, Belfast, N,Ireland. Lets All Go To The Lobby To Get Ourselves A Treat. by Stuart Eric Longridge (2) "Hey ive read some of your stuff and ill be the first to admit its pretty hardcore but since ive read a few more im starting to see your message." -- tommy , ny. "Things aren't that bad, STL. The world could be better, but it is what it is. You just have to live your life the best you can. I think you've watched the Matrix movies one too many times " -- Steven. For Lonely Eyes To Say by Brion' O Neil (1) "it is sweet and the rhymes are great. Well done!" -- Dri. Every Once In A While by Brion' O Neil (1) "how could I have missed this one?? Is it brandnew? It's hard to choose the one I like the most. The theme was very well chosen. Smart choice." -- Dri. Each Sound Seems To Fit A Place by Brion' O Neil (1) "it brought tears into my eyes. How beautiful and sweet. I can relate so well..." -- Dri. Anger Pills To Polish Skills. by Stuart Eric Longridge (1) "Ya should sell this to Bono...IT WOULD BEFIT HIS STYLE! a mighty write Lad!" -- Brian O Neil. Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 |
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