As I Was Saying. (1)
Terry Collett

 

AS I WAS SAYING.
         
                                                 A
                                            PLAY
                                               BY
                                          T.J.COLLETT.



                                                     
Act One.
                                               Scene One.

Two men and a woman sit on three deckchairs on a beach facing the sea in a semicircle but close together. Behind them the fa�ade of hotels and shops. The two men are named Thomas and Richard. The woman�s name is Harriet. All are middle aged.

Richard: The sea�s calm.

Thomas: The tide�s out.

Harriet: Looks nice and peaceful.

Richard: Sea can be dangerous.

Thomas: I like it calm.

Harriet: I prefer it when it�s rough and untamed. It shows its true beauty then.

Thomas: People can be killed in rough seas. (Pause)

Richard: The sea is calm. It soothes me with its calmness.

Thomas: My brother drowned in the sea.

Harriet: Did he? (Looks at Thomas and raises her eyebrows. Then looks back at the sea.)

Richard: Shelley drowned at sea.

Thomas: Drowned down at Brighton.

Harriet: Who, Shelley?

Thomas: No, my brother.

Richard: How did he drown?

Harriet: Who, Shelley?

Thomas: No, my brother. He went down to Brighton with his friends on a stag night binge, and afterwards walked out in the sea and drowned.

Harriet: Why did he walk out in the sea?

Thomas: He was drunk. People do silly things when they�re drunk.

Harriet: Like drown? Couldn�t he have found something less dangerous to do?

Richard: Didn�t his friends try to save him?

Thomas: They were drunk too. Too drunk to do much in the way of saving him.

Harriet: That�s men for you. No consideration for others.

Thomas: They did call out to him. But he didn�t hear them. They waved and called, but he just waved back like some idiot. (Thomas gets out his handkerchief and blows his nose. Wipes his nose while the other two stare at him)
He always was a little hard of hearing. Too much loud music our father said. (Wipes his nose again. The other two stare out at the sea.)

Richard: The sea is very calm.

Harriet: Did he like loud music?

Thomas: Who?

Harriet: Your brother. Did he like loud music?

Thomas: Yes. He loved his music loud. Mainly because he was a little hard of hearing.

Richard: There are ships on the horizon. Three of them. Two large ones and a small one.

Thomas: He should not have gone out and drank so much. He would still be here now if he�d not drunk so much.

Richard: I think one�s a tanker of some kind.

Harriet: I bet his fianc� wasn�t too happy about him drowning at sea.

Thomas: She was quite put out by it. Only just bought the bridesmaids dresses. She�d spent a lot of her time picking them out and finding the right match.

Harriet: Yes, it can take time finding the colours to match. My cousin had an awful time getting the right colours to match.

Richard: The large one on the right is a tanker, I�m sure. Not that I�m an expert on ships, but it looks like a tanker to me.

Thomas: Mother was terrible about it all. She cried on and off for weeks. Father couldn�t console her no matter what he said or did.

Richard: Wasn�t your father at sea?

Thomas: During the War. He was frequently seasick he told us.

Richard: My father was a Desert Rat. Saw Monty a few times he told me.

Harriet: So what happened to your brother�s fianc�?

Thomas: She married some young Jewish fellow called Stein something or other.

Richard: Very hot, my father told me, out in the desert.

Harriet: How long afterwards was the wedding?

Thomas: A year, I think. Pretty girl as I remember. Liked a pretty girl did our Gerald.

Richard: I prefer the sea. I�d have chosen the navy if it had been me during the War.



Thomas: She wasn�t his first choice. He had his eyes on Milly Haggerd, but she went off with that Bruce Budgewig. Gerald was none too pleased. He�d spent a tidy fortune on her trying to get her to�

Richard: Torpedoed a few times, your father was, so my father said.

Harriet: Whom did your mother want him to marry? Mothers have an eye for their son�s wife.


Thomas: I think it is a tanker. (Peers out at the sea intensely.)

Richard: And the following one�s a liner.

Harriet: My mother wanted me to marry a son of her friend. I only met him twice. He wasn't up to much.

Richard: Was he torpedoed?

Thomas: Who?

Richard: Your father.

Thomas: Yes. Twice. Said it became a bit of a routine in the end. Almost expected it.

Harriet: Yes, he did, I think. But I wasn't having any of it. I told my mother, I�d find my own husband, thank you very much. Son of her friend indeed.

Richard: Got up on a tank and spoke to the men.

Thomas: Who?

Richard: Monty. Montgomery.

Harriet: That tanker's gone now. (She peers out to sea. Richard stands up and stretches his arms above his head. Then looks out at the sea.)

Thomas: I knew a man called Montgomery.

Richard: Not the Montgomery?

Thomas: No. This one was a part-time actor. He did small parts.

Harriet: Her son had small parts...So I was told.

Thomas: Married a dancer from up West.

Richard: Up West?

Thomas: West End of London. Bit seedy.

Harriet: I wasn't that type of girl. I told him that.

Richard: The liner's gone now. (Still standing he walks forward a few paces.)

Thomas: Out of sight. Wonder where she was off to? Somewhere nice, I bet. Looks like she went off over the end of the Earth.

Harriet: He was a bit seedy. Mind you most men are.

Richard: Fancy a bite to eat?

Thomas: Yes. Fine by me. (Stands up and walks to Richard. They both look at Harriet.)
Are you coming along, Harriet?

Harriet: Coming along, where?

Richard: A bite to eat. Up there somewhere.

Thomas: The sea's calm. (They all look out at the sea. Then after a few minutes, they walk up stage. Curtain falls.

                                                    
                                               END OF SCENE ONE.




                                                      
                                             Scene Two.

Two hours later on the beach, Thomas and Harriet sit alone in two of the three deck chairs. Thomas sits back in his chair staring out at the sea. Harriet sits forward her hands fiddling with a cigarette packet deciding whether to open it or not. She finally decides to open it and withdraws a cigarette. She places the cigarette between her lips and puts the packet away in her bag, which is on her lap. She lifts the bag up and places it on the beach beside her chair.

Thomas: We should have waited for him.

Harriet: Richard will know where we are. (Lights her cigarette with a lighter from her skirt pocket. Then she looks at it for a few seconds before placing it back in her pocket.) Have you known Richard long?

Thomas: We were at boarding school together.

Harriet: He mentioned boarding school, but he never mentioned you until yesterday.

Thomas: We were in the same dormitory for years.

Harriet: Sounds fun. (Draws on her cigarette and releases a slow out pouring of smoke.) He never mentioned about sharing a dormitory with you.

Thomas: We also went to St. John�s College together when we were eighteen.

Harriet: Share a dormitory there, too?

Thomas: No. We had rooms close by, though.

Harriet: He never mentioned you at that college neither.

Thomas: Have you known Richard long?

Harriet: About six months. We met at a musician�s convention.

Thomas: Does he still write music?

Harriet: He seems to. Shuts himself away in his little music room and tinkers on his piano for hours on end some days. (Stands up and walks forward a few paces. She puts out her cigarette and drops it on the beach.) The sea�s getting rougher.

Thomas: Do you and Richard live together?

Harriet: That�s quite a personal question, Thomas. I shouldn�t be answering questions like that should I? (She turns towards him and gives him a cool look.)

Thomas: Not if you choose not to. I was just wondering.

Harriet: Maybe you should ask Richard. He�s your friend after all. He won�t want to hide things from you I don�t suppose. (Harriet looks back at the sea.)

Thomas: I hadn�t seen Richard since 1966 until last Friday.

Harriet: The sea endlessly comes in and goes out day after day. You�d think it would get bored doing that so endlessly, wouldn�t you. I know I would. I hate boring routines.

Thomas: Are you sure, he�ll find us here? (Thomas stands up and looks back up towards the hotels and shops. After a few moments, he walks towards Harriet and stands beside her looking out at the sea.)

Harriet: He�ll find us. He could find a pin in a haystack. (She looks sideways at Thomas and stares with screwed up eyes for a few moments.) For a musician he�s got a lousy voice. (She looks away and stares at the sea.)

Thomas: He always did have a useless singing voice. I�m surprised he managed to write music at all.

Harriet: He hums.

Thomas: He what?

Harriet: Hums. He hums his melodies or whatever it is he calls those things he writes down. It sounds like he�s keeping bees in that music room of his some days.

Thomas: Wasn�t he married? I thought I read somewhere he�d got married.

Harriet: Yes. He did mention some woman he�d married some years back. Divorced now. (Looks back towards the landscape behind her.) Are you married, Thomas?

Thomas: Married once. Not anymore.

Harriet: Divorce?

Thomas: No. She died. (Moves away from Harriet and sits down in his deckchair again. Harriet follows and does likewise.)

Harriet: Oh. Sorry. My big mouth and me.

Thomas: You weren�t to know.

Harriet: I should have been more cautious. I never think before I speak. Richard�s always telling me to use my brain before my tongue.

Thomas: I should have said. She was a good woman. She died because some idiot ran her over one night.

Harriet: How awful. (Harriet searches for her cigarette packet finds it, withdraws one, and offers them to Thomas who refuses. She puts a cigarette in her mouth and then puts the cigarette packet a way.)

Thomas: The tides coming in.

Harriet: Seems closer than it was before lunch.

Thomas: Seems rougher too.

Harriet: Not as calm as it was. (Silence falls upon them. They gaze out at the sea.)

 The curtain falls.
                                     End of scene two.





                                          Scene Three.

A half an hour has passed and Thomas and Richard sit on two of the three deckchairs on the beach. Richard is looking behind him up towards the hotels and shops. Thomas is looking out at the seascape.

Richard: Where did Harriet say she was going?

Thomas: Said she was going to the pier to look for a fortune-teller.

Richard: Fortune-teller?

Thomas: That�s what she said. One of those gypsy tent things they have on piers.

Richard: Can�t make her out sometimes. She has some weird notions that completely baffle me. She often tries to read tealeaves from my cup. Or grabs my hand and attempts to read my palm.

Thomas: Perhaps she is just trying to get close to you.

Richard: She is close to me. We share a house. We share a bed. How much closer does she want to get? (Richard stands up and looks out at the sea. He walks a few paces forward.)

Thomas: She does not seem your type. I thought you were more one for the intellectual kind of woman.

Richard: I have had my fill of intellectual women. (Pause. Looks back at Thomas.) I had a woman a few years back with a brain Einstein would have been proud to own, but she was like a fish in bed.( Goes back to his deckchair and sits down again.)

Thomas: How did you meet, Harriet?

Richard: Musician�s convention.

Thomas: Is she a musician?

Richard: No. She was with some pianist who treated her like a slave.

Thomas: And you moved in on her?

Richard: You make me sound like some shark. No, we got talking over a few drinks and one thing led to another and here we are.

Thomas: Sounds romantic. Like something out of one of my books. Have you read any of my books lately?

Richard: No, I try to avoid them. You write like a woman. What happened to that Thomas I knew at university who was going to be the next Lawrence?

Thomas: He became poor and needed to make some money. (Pause. Both men sit in silence. They look at each other momentarily, then back out to sea.)

Richard: The sea�s coming quite close now.

Thomas: Yes, you can smell the salt.

Richard: Where is she? Thought she�d be back by now.

Thomas: And if you close your eyes, you can hear the sea�s voice more intensely. I often did that as a child. I�d close my eyes and listen to the sea�s waves rush up the beach and suck the pebbles as it withdrew. (Thomas smiles to himself in deep thought.) I went with my grandparents once to Ramsgate and we had the top rooms of this boarding house. My cousin got out his telescope and showed me the sea through it. It seemed as if it were just out side the window and that if I opened the window the sea would pour right in on us. (Looks at Richard who is gazing at his shoes.) Strange what you think when you are a child.

Richard: She wants a child.

Thomas: Who?

Richard: Harriet. She wants a baby.

Thomas: Isn�t she a bit old to be thinking of babies?

Richard: She�s only thirty-two. You make her out to be ancient.

Thomas: Thirty-two? Sounds young when you say it quick. Why does she want a baby, now?

Richard: Says she doesn�t feel complete unless she has one.

Thomas: Have you any children of your own?

Richard: No. I�ve never been interested in having children. I let others with more time and less talent have children. I need my time and energy for my music.

Thomas: Have you told her that?

Richard: Not in so many words. I have hinted at it.

Thomas: How many words did you use?

Richard: One should have been sufficient. But she doesn�t listen. Thinks I�ll come round to the idea when it happens. I think she�s even skipped her pill now. I can�t be using�where is she?

Thomas: The sea�s getting calmer. I like to sit and sense the power of nature near me. Makes you realise how small you are in the order of things. My brother learnt too late. My wife learnt too late. I wonder if I�ll learn too late?
(Thomas shakes his head, then sits back in his chair, and stares out at the sea. Richard looks up at the sky, then slowly lowers his gaze and looks back towards the hotels and shops.)

             Curtains fall.
   
                                 End of scene three.


                                 






                                                   Scene Four.

Richard and Harriet are sitting in two of the three deckchairs on the beach. Richard is staring out at the sea. Harriet is smoking a cigarette and staring at her bare feet.

Richard: He's changed.

Harriet: Who's changed?

Richard: Thomas. Changed completely. I'd not have thought he would have changed so much in such a space of time.

Harriet: People do. They change, as they grow older. My mother did. She used to be a good laugh when I was a child, but as she grew old, she became crabby and used to moan a lot. I suppose it comes with age. Age changes you.

Richard: He used to be quite adventurous. Wanted to do things to change the world. Now he just writes sloppy romance books under a pseudo name. How do people change so much?

Harriet: He's had a sad life.

Richard: Who?

Harriet: Thomas. He's had a sad life. What with his brother drowning and then his wife being knocked over by some drunk...Enough to make anyone write romances.

Richard: What do you think of him?

Harriet: I think he's quite a sad individual.

Richard: He used to have a good brain on him. He had bright prospects. Could have gone places.

Harriet: Such are the plans of cats and mice.

Richard: It's mice and men.

Harriet: What's mice and men?

Richard: The quotation you just used. It's mice and men, not cats and mice.

Harriet: Does it matter if it's cats and mice rather than mice and men? After all, Richard, cats and mice have something in common. Men and mice don't.

Richard: That's an example of women's logic is it? (Pause. Harriet looks side wards at Richard. Her eyes stay on him for a few seconds. He returns her gaze and they gaze at each other for a minute or two in silence.) Why quote something and change it? (Harriet pulls a face and sticks out her tongue. Richard shakes his head and looks back at the sea.)

Harriet: I wish I could swim. I would love to swim. Be able to float out with my arms out stretched.

Richard: You should have learnt to swim. Why moan about something you could have changed by your own efforts?

Harriet: I'm afraid of water.

Richard: Afraid of water? No one can be afraid of water, surely.

Harriet: I am. Always have been. Since I was a child.

Richard: Talking about children, are you still wanting this baby?

Harriet: More than you will ever know, Richard. I want it more than life itself. I want it as much as I have ever wanted anything.

Richard: Why did you leave it so late in life? Why not earlier when you were younger?

Harriet: I never realised then how much I wanted a baby. I never thought about it, then. But now I realise just what it is that has been missing in my life. (Pause.) When you are young you think you have all the time in the world to have a baby. Then, one day, you realise just how much time has flown and how old you're getting. You think you can wait, but time doesn't wait. I want a baby, Richard. I want my own baby.

Richard: You know, I never really wanted a baby. They always seemed to be part of someone else's world, never mine. I used to feel tied down by the mere thought of having a child and that child relying on me.

Harriet: What's changed?

Richard: That's just the point, Harriet, nothing has changed. I feel a child would tie me down and all my free time and inspiration would be taken up with feed times and nappy changing.

Harriet: I could do those things. You'd not be lumbered with those chores. You could still shut yourself away in your room and hum away to your hearts content. I just need you to...

Richard: Those seagulls make a hell of a noise.

Harriet: I need you to...

Richard: When I was a boy, I always associated seagulls with the seaside. I would listen out for them as the train entered the station and we traipsed up towards the sea front. Funny how memories of childhood seem so vivid.

Harriet: I want a baby. I want one before I get too old to look after it. I need you to...

Richard: And the smell of seaweed. I love the smell of seaweed. I can close my eyes and the mere smell takes me back to my childhood by the sea.
(Pause. He stands and walks a few paces towards the sea. Harriet stares at his back.) The sea. What a fantastic thing it is. Covers so much of the earth's surface. And unexplored at its very depths. The sea. (Smiles to himself in deep thought.)

Harriet: I'd do anything for a baby. I'd do anything necessary to get pregnant. (Harriet takes out a cigarette and lights it with her lighter, then replaces the lighter.)
Thomas likes children. He'd love children of his own.

Richard: I wonder what it's like to drown. I can swim, but for those who can't it must make drowning seem a real possibility. (Richard walks along the shoreline slowly.) My father taught me to swim. He was that sort of man. A Desert Rat.

Harriet: Thomas has heart and sensibility. I'm sure he'd like children.

Richard: Men went mad in the desert my father said. All that sand and the heat. He was a man's man.

Harriet: If his wife hadn't been killed, I'm sure he'd have had children.

Richard: He still is to a degree, but age has wearied him. He needs help now, being older.

Harriet: The sea is calmer.

Richard: The cool breeze refreshes you.

Harriet: The horizon so unchanging, except for...

Richard: Ships. Passing ships in the night.

Harriet: Or day. Passing ships in the day.

 

 

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Copyright © 2005 Terry Collett
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