How Can They Expect To Be Taken Seriously? (1)
Omar Fehimovic

 

HOW CAN THEY EXPECT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY?

(IT'S JUST MY LITTLE TRIBUTE TO PET SHOP BOYS, DARLING)

 


Another cold night in Petshopboysville. It's almost Christmas and snowing. The streets are bright, just a few passers-by. Neil and Chris, local detectives, are sitting in their favourite diner. Neil is taller, has a hat and a moustache. Chris too, but he is smaller. These two guys look as if they were in some kind of performance. They are looking through the window of their favourite diner waiting for dinner. Third shift again, fighting crime in their beloved city, Petshopboysville. But Chris seems to be angry. He'd like to be at home.

Chris: It doesn't often snow at Christmas.
Neil: Christmas is not all it's cracked up to be.
Chris: Don't mind admitting, I feel like quitting this job.
Neil: I couldn't agree more.
Chris: I hate the third shift. Aren't detectives supposed to have fun from time to time instead of having to fight crime every bloody night? What's wrong with the people...
Neil: There's too many people?
Chris: ...and the crime they commit? Can't they just enjoy the holiday season and give us a break?
Neil: Oh, Chris. You are a detective. Enjoy your cup of tea and relax. This is our job. It was our choice.
Chris: I know, but these people make me mad. There's a good movie on TV tonight, something like �It Couldn't Happen Here�. Unfortunately, in this town anything can happen. Otherwise we would not be working so much.
Neil: You are being boring. What have I done to deserve this? You complain all the time. Listen, there's that song on the radio again.

IT'S A SIN BY PET SHOP BOYS ON THE RADIO

Chris: Those guys drive me nuts. �It's a sin�? Sure it is. Me working this late. Unbelievable.
Neil: Go with the flow, enjoy the music. The food will be on the table soon. They call it fast food, but here it takes forever to get it. Not fast at all.
Chris: Are these guys some saints? They say it's a sin. Like they have never sinned? Give me a break. I hate these puritans. I mean, how can they expect to be taken seriously? A few nights ago I listened to their song and that annoying Tennant sang �we were never being boring�. Sure. We are bored here and they were never being boring. I hate these guys.
Neil: But the city is named after them. They are Pet Shop Boys. They are this town's icons.
Chris: Icons, saints, whatever...I do not like them. I'm not in denial like you. I'd like to kick them in the arse. Never being boring? Right! I bet I am twice as fun as they are. Oh boy, tonight is forever. What a long shift!
Neil: Actually, you're not more fun than they are. What is wrong with you tonight? Drink your coffee or you will fall asleep during the shift...
Chris: I wish!
Neil: Who knows what might happen tonight. You yourself said that tonight is forever. You talk about them being taken seriously but how can you expect to be taken seriously if you do not do your job properly?
Chris: Neil, maybe you're right. I need to relax. A nice vacation in Rio de Janeiro would be nice. But I cannot relax. Those Pet Shop Boys drive me mad. I bet I could write much better music. Real music with disco potential. Music for boys, not that decadence.
Neil (laughing): Why don't you? People would be saying, listening to you: �Do I have to�? I mean, listen to you�You are so funny Chris. Just like your funny uncle.
Chris: Stop it!

THE WAITRESS BRINGS FOOD

Neil: Thanks.
Chris: This smells good. Yummy.
Neil: You see? I like you much better now.

NEIL AND CHRIS EAT. THERE IS SOME NOISE OUTSIDE, LIKE FIRECRACKERS.

Chris: What is that pandemonium? Probably some crazy kids. Hey, headmaster, where are you?
Neil. I do not know. I'm not scared, I do not care. Let's eat. Yummy!
Chris: Maybe it's a flying spark in Luna Park.
Neil: Do not pay attention to it. This food is great!

NEIL'S PHONE RINGS.

Neil: Hello? Where? I'm so sorry. What? So sorry, I said. We're coming.
Chris: What's going on?
Neil: A murder. We'll finish our meal and go. I'll tell you all about it in the car.
Chris (teasing): Do I have to listen to it? I hope that old creepy guy will not be in the back seat. He's always on my mind.
Neil: Do not be ridiculous. I am finished. I'll pay the bill and you finish your meal.

NEIL LEAVES AND CHRIS FINISHES HIS MEAL ALONE AT THE TABLE.

Chris: It seems we're all criminals now. There is so much crime. All around the world. Sade would say �Is it a crime?� But what does she know? She is not a detective. She should mind her own business and leave crime to the professionals like me!

NEIL IS BACK

Neil: Ready?
Chris: It's a sin to leave this warm diner. What have I done to deserve this?
Neil: Come on, let's go.

CHRIS AND NEIL IN THE CAR. NEIL DRIVES.

Chris: What has happened?
Neil: A woman has been murdered.
Chris: I'm so sorry.
Neil: So sorry, I said too, on the phone. We're almost there. Thank God it's not in suburbia. Who would drive all the way there?
Chris: It's close to King's Cross?
Neil: Yes.
Chris: If there was love, there would be no crime.
Neil: You sound like Liza Minnelli. You are strange tonight.
Chris: Liza Minnelli? I cannot stand here. I watched her interview on TV and she was talking about her album �Results�. What results? She is a singer, she does not play football. Oh boy, people can be so annoying sometimes. Can you imagine having to work with her? Or Dusty Springfield? It's the end of the world, I'm sure. Ugh...
Neil: You are being boring like never before. In private, you can be so annoying.
Chris: And you are so fun, aren't you? A regular Borat, I might add.
Neil: Stop it! OK, you do not like Liza, I get it. Can you forgive her at least? We have got work to do. Are you sleeping?
Chris: No, I was dreaming of the queen. Of course I was not sleeping.

CHRIS AND NEIL ARRIVE AT THE BUILDING WHERE THE MURDER TOOK PLACE. THEY ENTER THE APARTMENT. A WOMAN IN HER 20'S IS DEAD ON THE FLOOR. THE POLICE IN UNIFORM ARE AROUND THEM.

Neil (checking the body): She was hit with a blunt object on the head. She died instantly.
Chris, what do you think?
Chris: I think I want a dog. He would keep me safe. This woman had no dog.
Neil: Good idea to have a dog. Especially in the night. It's like building a wall.
Chris: You're right.
Neil: Jane Williams, 26, not married, lived alone. That's what the neighbours told the police. Poor girl. Who would do such a thing?
Chris: The killer did not take anything. And the money is still in the wallet.
Neil: A crime of passion?
Chris: Who knows, love comes quickly. I guess passion too. One thing leads to another. These West End girls think nothing can happen to them. And here I am, in the middle of a cold night, working. Chris, you'll have many opportunities, they said. Right! To watch dead people! I should have become an architect. I would be very good at it and I could design my own apartment. It's not so hard.
Neil: Are you finished? The woman is dead and you sound like and old granny.
Chris (taking an invitation from the table next to the dead body. It is written on the invitation: Night club KDX 125): KDX 125...Hmm...Neil, ever been there?
Neil: No, but maybe she worked there or had some fun. We should check it out.
Chris: Is it open this late?
Neil: We have to check.

  
CHRIS AND NEIL IN THE CAR. NOW CHRIS DRIVES.

Chris: Where is this KDX 125 club? It's so dark. It seems that we are where the streets have no name. Hey, I have a good name for a street. Paninaro!
Neil: Don't be ridiculous. Go West, I'm sure it's there.
Chris: My head is spinning. Go West, go East, where is the bloody club?
Neil: There, on the left. Look!
Chris: Finally. Let's go inside.

CHRIS AND NEIL AT THE ENTRANCE OF THE CLUB. A BIG BLACK GUY STOPS THEM.

Black guy: Guys, invitations only.
Chris: Are you joking? We're the police. (CHRIS FLASHES THE BADGE). I'm with stupid (POINTING AT NEIL AND LAUGHING).
Neil ( Sarcastically): Ha-ha. Stop being childish.
Black guy: Sorry. You can come in.
Neil to Chris: You are shameless.

CHRIS AND NEIL ARE IN THE CLUB. THE CLUB IS CROWDED. ON STAGE, LIVE, PET SHOP BOYS SINGING YESTERDAY WHEN I WAS MAD.

Chris: Oh no, those guys again. Yesterday when I was mad? I am mad now! Look at that guy playing the keyboards. What's his problem? Sunglasses and a ski cap in this hot night club? And why is he so serious? Maybe Joker form Batman was talking about that guy when he said �why so serious�. And look at that singer. He doesn't look mad at all.
Neil (laughing): He was mad yesterday.
Chris: Ha, ha, you are hilarious. That was a good one. High five.
Neil: Actually, I think the singer is cool.
Chris: Then go buy him some flowers. Or better, make him sing with Brandon Flowers. While at it, make sure Lady Go-Go is there too.
Neil: Actually, her name is Lady Gaga.
Chris: Whatever, Go-Go, Gaga... It all sounds like some baby mumbling go, ga, blah, blah... These guys are a joke! And they named our city after them? Was it worth it? Definitely not (grumpy).
Neil: Just do your job and forget about them.
Chris: I wish. How can I? Tonight I am mad!
Neil: Were you mad yesterday? (laughing).
Chris: Don't make me hit you.
 

 

NEIL STOPS A WAITRESS

Neil: I am Neil, this is Chris. We are from the Petshopboysville police department.
Waitress: What a coincidence. Pet Shop Boys are on stage right now.
Chris: Darling, you were wonderful, you really were quite good�
Waitress: What?
Chris: Do not make me mad. Those guys on stage can never be as mad as I can be. Not yesterday, not ever. Am I making myself clear?
Waitress (scared). Sorry, I did not mean to be rude. You know, they are Gods in this town.
Neil: Darling, I am warning you. Do not change the subject.
Waitress: What do you want to know?
Neil: Do you know Jane Williams?
Waitress: No.
Chris: Are you sure?
Waitress: Yes.
Neil: We found this invitation in her apartment.
Chris: There�s too many people. I am losing my mind.
Neil: Calm down. Darling, who is in charge of the club?
Waitress: Actually, the owners are on stage right now.
Chris (shocked): What are the odds? One in a million? One and one make five?

THE WAITRESS LEAVES. PET SHOP BOYS SING THIS MUST BE THE PLACE I WAITED YEARS TO LEAVE.

Chris: This must be the place I waited years to leave? Are they joking? This must be the place I waited seconds to leave. Look at them. They are sitting and that keyboard character is looking at me through the binoculars. I am going to kick his arse.
Neil: Chris, you need to face the truth. We have to wait and interview them.
Chris: Do I have to?
Neil: Yes, you do. I do not want to be left to my own devices.
Chris: This is not hit music. I can assure you. The singer is quite annoying too. I wouldn't normally do this kind of thing, but their music is like the sound of the atom splitting. I need a drink.
Neil: You cannot drink. You are on duty. On the other hand, it is true, you only tell me you love me when you're drunk (laughing).
Chris: Not funny...Not funny at all.
Neil: Sorry. Come on, you are on duty. You cannot drink and we have to interview them after the show. Who knows, maybe you will meet a sexy northerner here tonight.
Chris (sarcastically): Sure. I'm single, bilingual. I'm quite a catch. Call me old-fashioned, Neil, but I'm absolutely fabulous.
Neil (angry): Ugh... With you, I'm closer to heaven.
Chris: I'm a positive role model.

PET SHOP BOYS SING WE'RE THE PET SHOP BOYS ON STAGE

Chris: Am I dreaming?
Neil (sarcastically): Dreaming of the queen?
Chris: You are so wise. Come here, I want to hit you in the face.
Neil: Hit and miss, please. But seriously, you are not dreaming. This is like the Sodom and Gomorrah Show.
Chris: They are the Pet Shop Boys? Really? I thought they were Bon Jovi. God willing, we shall not have to wait for a long time to interview them. This is unbearable.
Neil: Chris, I must say, you are right. They have exaggerated. I'm really disappointed that they're getting away with it. I feel like Casanova in Hell.

PET SHOP BOYS LEAVE THE STAGE. THE SHOW IS OVER.

Chris: This is better than winning lottery.
Neil: Or having coffee with Arsene Wenger.
Chris: I know, I know, you do not have to tease me. My Arsenal will never be champions again. So many kids in the club. What's up with that?
Neil: You should ask Ian Wright. He is your buddy.
Chris: I might as well do that. I want to see some serious men in the first team, not a kindergarten Arsenal!!! Lets' go. We'll make the Pet Shop Boys pay for this suffering.
Neil: Yes! I feel numb after their music. Let's go.

PET SHOP BOYS' DRESSING ROOM. CHRIS AND NEIL ENTER.

Lowe: Who are you, guys? Who let you in? We're Pet Shop Boys.
Chris: Yes and I am in love with a German film star.
Neil: And I own Battleship Potemkin. We're the police, you pompous losers!
Tennant: Are we all criminals now?
Lowe: I do not know what you want but I can't give it anymore.
Neil: Give what?
Lowe: Autographs. What else? You people would do anything to get autographs. Even pretend to be the police! I cannot believe this. Guards!
Neil: Hold on. Do not act like you are some New York city boy. Or Paris city boy. This is Petshopboysville. This a town where there is rule of law.
Lowe: Remind me again? Where are we? Oh, yes, in the city named after us!
Neil: I am losing my patience. We are real detectives.
Tennant: It's a scandal, such a scandal! Guards!

CHRIS AND NEIL FIGHT WITH GUARDS AND ARREST THEM. THEY LOCK THE GUARDS IN THE NEARBY ROOM.

Chris (to Pet Shop Boys): For your own good, you will now answer our questions. (to Neil): Nine out of ten times these pop stars are unbearable. More like psychological scars than stars.
Lowe: Is this some kind of theatre? I feel like the samurai in autumn.
Neil: Like what?
Lowe: Never mind. So what do you want?
Chris: We need answers.
Tennant: Do you have questions?
Chris: Look at this �never being boring� character. Can you believe this? No, we do not have questions, we want to take you shopping. Now, one more chance or we shall take you to our station.
Tennant: But we have not done anything.
Chris: I am not sure about that. Back there on stage you sang that you all felt better in the dark. God knows what kind of illegal activities took place in that dark.
Lowe: It's just a song, for God's sake.
Chris: Enough with domino dancing. We want answers.
Neil: Chris, this Lowe character reminds me of...
Chris: Stop it. I get that all the time. People stop me in the streets, asking for autographs. He does not look like me! We have got a job to do here.
Lowe (sarcastically): Which is?
Neil: Now you are really being boring. You are worse than those West End girls. Speaking of whom, one was murdered tonight.
Tennant/Lowe (shocked): Murdered?
Chris: Yes, murdered. You might ask what she has done to deserve that? That's why we are here. We're not S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G. We are working.
Tennant: He's hilarious.
Chris: There is some speculation but we need the truth. We are ready to face the truth. This is not your DJ culture. This is real life.
Tennant: Are you guys for real?
Chris: No, we came from outer space. It must be obvious.
Lowe: We recorded a song with David Bowie called �Hello, spaceboy�. Was he referring to you (laughing)?
Chris: No, but I refer to my pocket bowie knife very often, if you know what I mean.
Neil: Enough! We need to ask some questions.
Lowe: Yes, you have said that a hundred times already.
Chris: Can you believe this guy? You are the reason people stop me in the streets asking for autographs. You ruined my privacy! Oh, my head is spinning.
Neil: Did you know Jane Williams?
Lowe: No, but I would love to meet Serena Williams (laughing hard).
Tennant: Jane who?
Neil: Jane Williams.
Tennant: You know where you went wrong?
Chris: No, enlighten us.
Tennant: In this room. Because of you a man could get arrested for nothing. You know, Jack the lad recently had a problem with the police. And he did not do anything!
Chris: Jack who?
Tennant: Jack the lad.
Neil: Whatever. Listen, Don Juan, do you know her or not?
Tennant/Lowe: No!
Neil: These characters look like the truck driver and his mate!
Chris: Yes, his mate. The boy who couldn't keep his clothes on. Ahahahaha.
Lowe: What are you two talking about?
Chris: I hope this is not calm before the storm.
Tennant: What?
Neil: Why did Jane have an invitation to your club? (To Tennant): You wanted to show her the view from your balcony?
Tennant: Do not be ridiculous. We printed the invitations. The ones we did not send were given to the staff of the club.
Neil: Who would have thought? It always comes as a surprise.
Lowe: Do you have any leads?
Neil: No, nothing has been proved.
Tennant: Was it a crime of passion?
Chris (singing): Where have you been........I do not know. We do not know. Maybe it was jealousy. Maybe it was some young offender. Who knows? We'll see. I want you to tell your staff to come to our police station for questioning tomorrow morning.

NEIL AND CHRIS LEAVE.

Lowe (to Tennant): Those guys were too serious. As if they had been searching for the face of Jesus.
Tennant: That's my impression.
Lowe: You know what would be a good idea? It just occurred to me. We could record a song �We built this city� like those Starship aliens. That would be cool.
Tennant: Come on, that would be too much. That would be an exaggeration.
Lowe: But it is still in my imagination.
Tennant: No! It is enough that they named the town after us. We built this city? That would be too much even for our fans.
Lowe: OK, I was just brainstorming.
Tennant: I hate storms. Please, stop it. Last time they said it was only the wind but it broke my bedroom windows! What kind of behaviour is that? It was only the wind?
Those meteorologists should come and replace my windows themselves!
Lowe: I studied architecture. Maybe I could help.
Tennant: No, please stick to your sunglasses and hats! And no more stripping during concerts. Do we really feel better in the dark? Those detectives were suspicious. They might think that we had something to do with the murder.
Lowe: It's not my fault. It was just my performance.
Tennant: Well, keep looking through the binoculars. That is harmless.
Lowe: You are being boring.

LOWE LEAVES THE ROOM CARRYING A HUGE SUITCASE. WRITTEN ON THE BAG: LOWE'S SMALL COLLECTION OF SUNGLASSES.

NEIL AND CHRIS ARE IN THE CAR. THE SHIFT IS ALMOST OVER. NEIL DRIVES AND CHRIS CHANGES RADIO STATIONS.

Chris: Today's music is awful. This one featuring that one, John's mother featuring his grandfather...What a joke! Or David Guetta! For him we need V for Vendetta! There is nothing to listen to. Those Pet Shop Boys are living proof.
Neil: There! That is a good song.
Chris: This is a good song to you? Who is this guy? Oh, it is not a guy. It is that Lady Go-Go.
Neil: Her name is Lady Gaga!
Chris: What? What? What did she just say? Poke her face? That is insane. Is she crazy?
Neil: No, she said �poker face�.
Chris: Poker my arse. I heard �poke her face�. I know what I heard.
Neil: Well, you heard wrong.
Chris: OK, let's say I did. Why would she sing about poker face? Was she in rehab for gamblers? Rehabs are popular today. The world has gone mad! Now, why would she sing �poker face�? Please, tell me.
Neil: Why would you sing �Paninaro�?
Chris: I would not sing, just mumble.
Neil: Right, because you are from Blackpool and you always wanted to make people happy. You know what? That would be a good line when they give you a lifetime achievement award (laughing).
Chris: In any case, better than Newcastle. There is always some sting there. A lot of police work. I do not like it.
Neil: You should be ashamed of yourself. You are from Blackpool and you are an Arsenal fan.
Chris: I want to hit and miss you. Just drive.

NOW CHRIS CHANGES THE STATION. PET SHOP BOYS SING TO SPEAK IS A SIN.

Chris: These guys are obsessed with sins. It's a sin, to speak is a sin and then they say that they feel better in the dark??? Shady characters indeed. You know what Tennant and Lowe (screaming at the radio)? To speak to you is not a sin, it is a nightmare!
Neil: You are absolutely right. They did not give us any leads.
Chris: How can they? The only lead there was that Tennant guy. Oh, I want to wake up on the beach tomorrow.
Neil: Domino dancing?
Chris: No, lots of boys and girls. Rio de Janeiro, like in 1994. Great memories. You know what? I would want to be forever in love. That would be my liberation.

NEIL DROPS OFF CHRIS AT HIS HOME. CHRIS ENTERS THE APARTMENT, NEIL DRIVES AWAY. CHRIS LISTENS TO �I WILL SURVIVE�.

Chris: Yes, I will survive this case. Those Pet Shop Boys make me mad. They are a perfect example of miserablism.

NEIL IS IN THE CAR, LISTENING TO LADY GAGA AGAIN, POKER FACE.

Neil: But she did say �poke her face�! What on earth�?

NEIL CHANGES THE STATION. KANYE WEST IS ON THE RADIO. NEIL ENJOYS KANYE'S SONG.

Neil: Now I am going West and listening to Kanye West. What a great ride home!

THE NEXT DAY. MORNING. POLICE STATION. CHRIS AND NEIL DRINK COFFEE IN THEIR OFFICE.

Neil: We have to interview all the staff from the club.
Chris: Do I have to?
Neil: How many times are you going to say that? You know what? You have a certain quality, which really is unique.
Chris: What?
Neil: You can be so annoying! Anyway, when I'm sitting so close to you, there's only one thing I wanna do.
Chris: Domino dancing?
Neil: Kick you in the arse. Oh, God, let's just do our job.

AFTER HOURS AND HOURS OF INTERVIEWING CHRIS AND NEIL ARE VERY TIRED AND PISSED OFF. NOW THEY TALK TO SOME CREEPY TATTOOED GUY. THEY THINK HE MIGHT BE A SUSPECT.

The guy: You don't believe a single word I say. If I'd say black was white, you'd say it was gray.
Chris: What do you want me to say? Darling, you were wonderful, you really were quite good?
The guy: OK. I gave her the invitation. We met in a bar one night and I wanted to impress her, you know? A guy with a Pet Shop Boys invitation. It does not get any better than that.
Neil: Actually, it does get much better, but it's a different point of view. Anyway...
The guy: I know, there's been some speculation about a recent invitation. But not about the one I gave her, that's for sure.
Chris: So you asked her �is it your inclination to accept this invitation�?
The guy: Come on, man, what kind of talk is that? Blackpool?
Chris: It's none of your business, invitation boy.
The guy: I'd rather be a Pet Shop Boy.
Chris: You are crazy. You do not have a shop or any pets.
The guy: Neither do Pet Shop Boys. And yet, they are Pet Shop Boys.
Neil: Stop it, both of you! So, did she show up?
The guy: No. I guess she was murdered before she had a chance to come to the club.
Chris: Nobody said anything about any murder.
Neil: Young offender, what is your defence?
The guy: What is wrong with you guys? Young offender? I am 50. OK, some guys I know mentioned a murder. I thought that is why I am here, that you want to know about them. I'll only admit that I gave her the invitation.
Chris: So it was her inclination to accept the invitation?
The guy (to Neil): What is wrong with this bloke? Is he a poet or what?
Neil: Just answer the question.
The guy (sweating): I need a drink, I am beginning to stink.
Chris: It is not you, they are repairing the sewer pipes in the station.
The guy: Thanks for the vivid depiction.
Neil: What guys were you talking about?
The guy: From work. Two new waiters.
Chris: Give us their names.
The guy: I do not know their names but Tennant and Lowe should know. Lowe should know. Haha, hilarious. You see, I am a bit of a poet myself, aren't I?
Chris: Do not test my patience! Tennant and Lowe should know?
The guy: You are hilarious. That is what I said. Tennant and Lowe should know. Do not steal my poetry.
Neil: I will kill you if you mention poetry one more time. You have no idea how difficult it is to write lyrics.
The guy: And you do? Ha-ha. You guys are funny. On the other hand, Tennant is a real poet. You should be like him. Smart and intelligent.
Chris: Pet Shop Boys know the names of the two waiters?
The guy: Yes. Tennant and Lowe should know. Ha-ha. Hilarious.
Chris: No way. I am not talking to Pet Shop Boys again. Especially not to that Lowe character.
Neil: But they might help our investigation. Or maybe they are suspects.
Chris: Why this uncertainty? It's not clear to me.
The guy: Listen to him. A regular poet. Ha-ha.

CHRIS IS ABOUT TO HIT THE GUY.

The guy: OK. OK. I can call Lowe and he will tell me the names.
Neil: You do that.

THE GUY CALLS LOWE.

The guy: Lowe, Hi, mate. How are you? Listen, I need the names of those two new waiters. A-ha...OK. Thanks. You rock. Well, their names are Jack and John.
Chris: And their family names?
Guy: Oh, boy, I forgot to ask that.
Chris (to Neil): Can you believe this guy? (Ready to punch the guy): Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should.
The guy: Wait. I'll call Lowe again.

THE GUY CALLS LOWE AGAIN.

The guy: Lowe, my friend, you did not tell me their family names. No, I'm not with stupid. I forgot. Jack Fowler and John Smith. Thanks, Lowe, you rule! Yes, I know, kings rule. That is what I said. (Chris and Neil are disgusted).

Chris (shouting in the phone): Lowe, you're another artist on a higher plane, do you think they'll put you in the Rock�n�Roll Hall of Fame? I hate you!
The guy: Sorry, Lowe, it's one of the detectives. No, he is not on crack.

THE GUY HANGS UP. CHRIS WANTS TO BEAT HIM UP.

The guy: Hey, if I was you, I wouldn't treat me the way you do. Police brutality! Help!

CHRIS RETREATS.

The guy: Can I go?
Neil: Yes, but do not leave town.
The guy: Are you crazy? Who would ever want to leave Petshopboysville? You can fly to the end of the world, but where does it get you to? There is no place like Petshopboysville.
Chris: Get out!
Neil: I'm tired of this job. I've got the brain, you've got the looks. Let's make lots of money. There's a lot of opportunities if you know when to take them, you know?
Chris: For everything I long to do, no matter when or where or who has one thing in common too. I will not interview Pet Shop Boys again.

CHRIS IS ANGRY AND LEAVES THE INTERROGATION ROOM.

Neil (shouting): Chris, I'm looking for a partner, regardless of expense. Think about it seriously, you know, it makes sense.

CHRIS IS AT HOME, TIRED AFTER HOURS OF INTERROGATION. SUDDENLY, THE PHONE RINGS. IT'S AFTER 10 PM.

Chris: Hello?

 

 

Go to part:2 

 

 

Copyright © 2013 Omar Fehimovic
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