Computer ‘Hackers’ ‘Nerds' Every day, you see that kid, the innocent looking glasses wearing kid. The one that everyone has always put down. The one who was always too smart for everyone else. The one who grew up with their self and no one else. These children, behind their ‘happy’ smile, behind the intelligence and good nature, is their real motive. Their real nature. These children reached for books, reached for knowledge ever since independent thought. They always stood out as intelligent, even in their young years in kindergarten, these children were different. For this difference in intelligence, in nature, they were discriminated against. So before you look at a Computer Hacker / ‘Nerd’ / Programmer, and make the decision that they are only there to cause havoc, or be a ‘nerd’ than take time to find out what actually makes these people tick. Why they turned to a life surrounded by inanimate objects, which to them, are their life. I am in Senior High School. I enjoy writing, reading, I have since I found it, played Warhammer (like DnD), I live on my computer and enjoyed or took part in every activity that ‘defines’ a ‘nerd’ I have continually listened to the same spoon fed rant’s of teachers for longer than I can honestly remember. I was always the one saying, “Yes Mr. Smith. It works because…” or “No Mrs. Johnson. I didn’t show my working out, I did it in my head, I had no need to show working out.” Until the day I made that discovery, that box. Just a box and a shiny thing, that’s all it was to me at the time. I came to grow with this device, this computer. I became a part of its world, data flowed through it just like the blood through my body. It lived on electricity and I lived on it. As I became accustomed to how it worked, I once again strived for more knowledge, I strived to know why and how. It was my refuge form the harsh world I was growing up in outside, each day ridiculed for anything and everything. At least I was the honest one there, at least I could be proud of what / who I was. I was and still am an intellectual, not a sportsman, not a world leader. As I grew and grew in skill and love for this haven, this internet as it was called. I was there for the birth of new technology in this fast paced lifestyle, this fast paced world of the computer. I began to meet others like me, even if I never saw their faces, even if I never actually even talked to them, just reading their posts on website BBS’s was enough for me to say; “You are my brethren” to feel a connection for each and every new brother and sister I had. Continuing pressure form the outside world slowly but surely pushed me further into my new world of data, programming and role playing games. As I became more attached to this, I began to explore things I hadn’t before. The internet was a virtual playground. I began to learn how to program, and reverse engineer. I began to code programs and then dismantle them again, like assembling and arming a gun, then taking it apart again. A routine that took a form of skill that I had: Intelligence. I began to form strange skills relating code, patterns, all manner of things, I began to be able to look at a slab of numbers and say something in plain every day English. Unfortunately for me, I began to dive into the dark side of this community, delving further and further into it. I never really wanted to end up there, but I couldn’t help it. It was a new intelligence. It was greater than the writing of a program. It was the reverse engineering of one. To take an algorithm, break it, crack it, just break it right own into a puddle of raw numbers and do what I wished. It was outsmarting the smart, it was a sublime intelligence and feeling. I never went as far as distributing or joining heavy groups. I did it purely for my own learning, never to cheat anyone out of money, I bought my software, then fiddled with it, so that way, no one was hurt and I had the intelligence and control over it. We are the kids continually spoon fed information, knowledge that we didn’t need or already knew. Now I don’t want to sound disrespectful, or in anyway better than anyone, for I am not, we are all equal. But for me, I was always more intelligent, and punished for it. I craved a steak or a whole damned cow, not baby food on an aeroplane spoon. So therefore I was driven to the computer. I am capable of normal social interaction, I was just never a candidate, I was never invited to the world’s party, therefore I had to make my own. I escape it rarely, but only rarely, for hen I do, I end up being forced back to my haven anyway. The problem I have with the people against our ‘kind’ is that you don’t bother to understand why we do it. We do it because we were forced into a corner, and found our steak found new knowledge, found something interesting and always changing to learn. We are the computer community, we are your ‘nerds’. What we have against the treating of our endeavours is that we are not hurting anyone, people like me do it for the education only, not to take advantage of others, even though others had of us. There are real criminals out there, stealing money form banks, shooting people, there are wars, rape, torture, starvation, continual murder, murder and more f**king murder. There are racists, sexists, religious bias, so many things that need to be fixed, and you call on the senior members of our community as criminals, even us, who aren’t affecting anyone. We aren’t the ones robbing electronic banks, they do deserve to be locked up. We are merely the people using 3rd party programs to cheat on games, have some harmless fun between ourselves, trade some music, some code and hack each other for the amusement and challenge, we make nice clean fun and education. After all, we aren’t out holding people at ransom. You people wage war, build weapons of mass destruction. We wage electronic war, and build programs to fight, we make simulation not real death. We are not in any way going to run and get our AK-47u’s and mow anyone down, we merely play war, now wage it. We exist in a world without skin colour, religion or even faces a lot of the time, there is barely any bias or fighting between us, we are all the same in our own way, yet all so individual. If we are criminals, our only crime is that of being judgemental of people upon their circumstance, what they think and say, not what they look like, what they buy, what they do in their spare time. Our crime may also be that of being too smart for our own good… well that may be, but it is up to us as individuals to judge what is good for us, after all, how many of you drink alcohol or smoke, or buy prostitutes, or do drugs, or have cats, or even dogs? God help me if I decide you shouldn’t have a kitty cat, because I don’t like them. We are the damn kid pointing out the problems in the teaching, we are the kids correcting teachers mistakes, we are the kids getting our homework done immediately, we are the kids who tie up the phone line all day, we are the kids who stroll the school looking intelligent, we are the kids who do what is best for us in our mind, we are the kids who can accept who we are, we are the kids of the future. It is rare for us to find what we seek, a place where we actually belong, to find a sensei, a mentor, a teacher who can actually feed our desire for knowledge, so wind down, think about what shaped our lives, why we are what we are. You can call us what you want, because deep down, we all know who and what we are, and you obviously can’t come to terms with it, but that’s ok, we are all different. “It takes all kinds to make the world go round.” So, break it down analyse it, for we will still be here, if you want to join us, we eagerly await you, if not, than just deal with us the way we truly deserve. When you see that kid walking down the street, down the school corridor, see past their glasses, or their funny hair or what ever it may be, maybe nothing at all. Look past their innocent learned face, into their soul, what makes them tick, why they are who they are, and who they really are. You can take us down one by one, pull our hearts apart whilst were alone, but you have always done that, haven’t you? Well when we finally come for your arses, we will almost literally own you people. When we drive through the Mc Donald’s franchise which we own, in our brand new, top of the range vehicle that we own, you will always be there to hand us our Big Mac’s, so we are fine with it. Peace out everyone *This is for all of the Phreakers out there, all o’ you ppl’s but most of all my friends in the underground.
Copyright © 2005 Josh Anderson |