At Nite With Liv
Serepx

 



We had arrived at her house in the evening, we had finished uni ana decided to go into
Gosford, Liv had to some things to do there. We did the things she had to do, and then we just walked about in the warm, end of summer afternoon. I kissed her for the first time, just near the station, she smiled as the trains thundered past, and I loved her Cheshire cat grin. I just stand there looking at her with her dishevelled strawberri blonde hair, I am smiling stupidly, and she grabs me and kisses me back.
I have never known a girl like Liv, my previous gf's seemed so practical and uninspiring, I knew she was someone incomprehensibly special, ana she liked me. She was liked by everyone, though she said no-one knew her....except for you. If anyone else would have said that I would have laughed at them, Liv was no fool, I kiss her on the forehead then hug her some more. She said I was dangerous, I didn�t really understand what she meant by that, I knew she liked dangerous though, as did I.
When we get back to green plateau it�s just gone dusk its warm and there�s a cool breeze, we hear the sounds of cooking and TV. She talks about what Russia is like as we walk along her road, I am listening to her intently as I follow the lines of her words to her door. I apparently ask the right questions of her experiences, she hugs me suddenly saying I have waited so long for someone to actually ask something like that, I get confused cause I thought everyone would ask the questions I ask. Later I am talking to her mom ana dad, they look umm curious about me; I answer their questions, though I mainly jus listen ana watch. I look at Livs parents and see their features in Liv, and I remember they don�t like to use salt, ana the closest thing they have is vegetable salt, whatever that is.
�I vaguely wonder if they like me, should I say more? Should I be quiet? People are so very hard for me to read, I don�t even know why Liv likes me, I speak so softly. Liv goes to the piano and fiddles with the keys, I watch her as she idly touches the keys, and I want to hear her music. Liv�s dad asks her to play something though Liv isn�t too keen, she blushes. She eventually plays something softly which is quite beautiful. later on I ask her to play more, everyone else went out somewhere, so its just Liv an me and the piano, I sit next to her on the long bench as she plays, I watch her hands as my consciousness dissolves into the music. She asks me to play something, she eventually convinced me to play something, a song only 2 people have heard, something I made up long ago. She says she likes it and I have a hard time believing it. She looks at me with her wonderful bloo intense eyes, ana says I don�t lie. She tells me I oughtta stay over, cause the buses don�t run this late, though really because she wants me too, with those same intense bloo eyes, I say um cool. I am terrified suddenly because no one has ever known me so well, mostly I don�t wanna be found.
Liv is beaming and I consciously let go of my fear, I trust her, when I distrust many, though for some reason I know Liv is someone I would regret not being with. Many girls I have known seem to want to force your hand with guilt, or play silly games and that�s their idea of relationship, ana that jus leaves me lonelier than ever. Liv wasn�t someone who would be anything but sincere, honest, compassionate, altruistic ana dangerous. It seems to me that all the girls that are insincere and game playing are really tame ana dull. Liv is dangerous cause she isn�t like that, so you cant help but like her, and the results could be scarily meaningful to me ana her. at the same time it would never be a shackle, no only the insincere game playing ones are the ones who prevent you from realizing yr dreams, the ones who want to drag you down.
I suddenly look at her families photo collage, I love photo collages, I see Liv on a high hill in Scotland, its so green that it contrasts sharply with the dark heavy clouds, I see her and her family in a park and I see her in her formal dress. I look at all the pictures deeply, drifting with their stories, in my head I am imagining being there in the celluloid memories. The longer you look to more you find.
In her room there�s a scent of vanilla, soft ana warm, there�s pictures all round the walls, there�s green curtains over the sliding door to the verandah, which are flowing from the breeze. I take her room in entirely, looking at her stuff ana how its laid out, I suddenly imagine her room empty ana vacant and feel a great loss, which is what I do whenever I am invited into someone I like's room,
for reasons unknown, though if I feel loss I know I will like them. Livs room is wonderfully untidy ana this makes me feel at ease and reminds me of artist�s studios somehow, it�s like there�s a work in
progress. Her room has energy ana filled with her presence, I look at her books on the shelves and the ones beside her bed.
I am still smiling stupidly as liv gets her shoe box of treasures and shows me her sentimental things; I am so flattered because I know what that means. She has postcards, beer coasters with messages scrawled on their backs, there�s lots of photos, matchbooks from distant places, letters from boys, a pressed rose and there�s a note from me. She talks about her treasures and I listen fascinated by her accounts. We listen to music talking about everything, she�s lying in my lap as I play with her hair, I notice that her ears are not pierced, I wonder why vaguely. We are sitting on the bottom level of her bunk bed, which is a double with a single on top, she has purple sheets ana quilt and two pillows, and I am guessing she sleeps at the bottom. I like bunk beds they seem so inherently fun to me, I am smirking, planning all sorts of pouncing from the top of the bunk type tricks ana other covert ops.
Liv has a shower ana brushes her teeth, I sit on the bed as I listen to the water the shower as I look at her room from different directions, eventually I conclude I feel very at home here. Liv returns and says I can use her toothbrush and there�s a towel by the shower. I notice the faucets and shower fittings are the same discordant red as the aluminium window panes, the ones that clash wonderfully with the wood walls. I like the fluorescent light too, unnatural contrasting with the natural, I brush my teeth whilst looking at the semi foggy mirror, the fluorescent light shows up my scars too well though, I sigh as look at myself looking at me. I suddenly remember how I got these particular scars on my right cheek, I remember mom telling me when I was very young I tried shaving, cutting up my face up real good, leaving a sort of N shaped scar that faded though never went. I then look at the scar above my lip which I did when I was 5 whilst experimenting with physics, I jumped of the top of a stereo cabinet and bit through my lip. I smile, liking myself better when I was young.
I return to Liv�s room and she is still trying to dry her hair, I go have a cigarette on the verandah. The weather is quite beautiful, it�s still warm with a strong cool breeze, and all the trees are swaying happily in the breeze. its a very bright night too, though at the same time its not the cold hard bright, like those still cold winter nites, its softer ana I just love it, listening to the leaves watching the lights of the town below.
Liv comes out and gets one of my cigarettes, we both lean on the veranda�s railing looking out, we are both too caught up in how pretty it was, silent ana awed. I am happy she appreciates as much as I do. She eventually says it�s such a wonderful nite tonite don�t you think? I answer by kissing her suddenly then smiling without thinking, nodding an emphatic yeah! we stay out there watching ana listening to the nite for a long time, now I am lying in her lap, as she runs her hands along my arms ana smooths my hair, she gives me goose bumps when she kisses my ear softly.
We eventually go in ana get ready for bed, she turns out the light, though the room in still lit by the bright moon, and she doesn�t close the curtains, as I hoped she wouldn�t, since the light is so very pretty. I change into boxers, her brothers, since I had no idea I would be staying over, I had only my car key which I kept on a leather band on my wrist, since I kept on losing it, my 1949 series 1 landrover key, the key is very small and I like it being there, its somehow very reassuring. I have no other keys, since I lived at the farm which was never locked; I liked the simplicity and have grown to miss that very simplicity so much.
Liv takes her jeans off, her belt buckle falling heavily to the floor, I look at the ground trying not to be rude, she throws her shirt at me, teasing me about getting all polite, she demurely asks if it bothers me, I shake my head. She�s wearing her favourite green underwear, and a very short satin-ee green camisole that leaves her midriff exposed. she doesn�t shave her legs or underarms, which I kinda like. I ask her why she doesn�t shave as she climbs into bed, she asks me if I dislike it ana I say no I think its cool. She then says when she was an exchange student in Germany she just stopped since shaving for girls is uncommon over there, and she thought it was just easier and more equal in a feminist sort of way, I say cool, I like unconventional. I then call her euro trash teasingly which is responded to by a pillow fight.
She then says well are you gonna get in bed whitetrash? I say yup with a southern accent as I get up too get on the top bunk. I manage to skilfully bang my head on the top bunk as she said umm not that one. I go umm oh... as she laughs ana pulls down the quilt for me. I climb in ana I am not at all tired, Liv turns on her side to face me; she kisses me lots then stops ana smiles. I am wondering about her unshaved legs, as her legs brush against mine, I tentatively touch her thigh, I kinda like it, it�s so soft, Liv laughs ana says see it isn�t so bad. Liv props herself up ana takes out her hair, her hair is long, thick, a real pretty strawberri blonde, still damp from her shower ana smells soo nice. As she undoes her hair I go too tickle her on her unshaved underarms, she laughs ana squirms, I really like her ana her unshaved-ness. I kiss her more, whilst she runs her hands over my sides and back very softly, and I get very shivery. she is a good kisser, she is subtly confident whilst being naive, she�s so sweet, ana when she kisses me its because it means something to her, and that means a lot to me. She isn�t at all nervous, nor am I, and that�s so cool. I look into her eyes, looking thru... unfocused, she looks straight back doing the same, those same intense, happy and so bloo eyes. She�s smiling like a Cheshire cat again. I am breathing in that vanilla like perfume, I feel like a happy drunk, who wouldn't want to be anywhere else. she jumps on top of me, which I wasn�t really expecting, she sitting up straight- ish cause the top bunk, looking at me with those bloo eyes smiling demurely, I say umm.......cool, she says she likes it up here, smiling broadly, she giggles an leans down ana kisses me. Sometime later she says I was just seeing if you had yr eyes closed, you weren�t squinting were you? I shake my head my eyes still closed. I overtly watched her eyes earlier I stopped kissing her and she slowly opened her eyes, she laughed ana said testing me huh? I said yup. Anyways she�s still on top of me, I liked her weight on me, and the feel of her soft skin of her legs on my sides. I am caressing her very very slightly down her back, along her sides and her lower back, her skin is so soft and smooth whilst being firm, a rare quality, I can feel her skin bump from her legs to her arms, she shivers ana her teeth chatter slightly. Liv stops propping herself with her arms at length at my sides, she carefully moves her arms ana slowly bends her elbows and rests on them lowering her tummy ana then breasts onto me, all the while those sweet bloo intense eyes are watching me closely, never leaving my eyes. I put my arm round her shoulder, the other is caressing her nape of her neck and playing with her hair, I slowly draw her down, her full weight is on me now, her breasts feel so nice thru the satin camisoley thingy. After a while she props herself back up on her elbows, she smiles ana says yr strong aren�t ya!? I say hmm wha? Am I? she tells me she was expecting me to be all umm different than what you are, y�know yr always wearing loose stuff, its hard to tell, ya knoo? I ask her if she is umm disappointed, she smiles shaking her head, I start to fret bout it, cause I hadn�t really thought about what or not I should be, she watches me intensely yet softly, she sees what I am thinking ana abruptly she takes of her camisoley thingy, she smiles broadly ana says I like the way you are just the way you are, I was just pleasantly surprised. It�s lucky she abruptly took of her top; it�s quite a distraction from my perennial feeling of being a zero. She has my full attention, as she says I don�t like wearing stuff to bed, I am not used to it, it feels weird, sorry. I say umm......cool. she jumps off me and she grabs the sides of her favourite green underwear and pulls them down as she brings her knees towards her and she pulls them to her knees and lets them slide down to her ankles, her underwear are now free of her right leg, her left foot goes to the side of the bed dropping her green underwear on the floor, then flicks them to her clothes hamper with her foot! I love how girls put on and remove underwear, it�s an art form, very graceful and practical at the same time, I admire girls more than I let on, ana not just in the underwear removal art form. Girls are soo umm alive, I can�t really explain. I finally say impressive........... she�s laying there, one knee slightly higher than the other, in that beautiful moon light, my god she�s so beautiful, she�s smiling kinda apprehensively, she seems slightly doubting herself. I prop myself up and lightly turn her head so I can look directly into her eyes; her eyes are slightly downcast though still that pretty bloo intense. then I slowly move to kiss her, I keep my eyes open waiting for her pretty bloos to not be slightly downcast, her intense steady pretty bloo gaze returns, I stop kissing and she smiles Cheshire cat like again.
she rolls to her side and her hand beckons me to move closer, when I am in reach she pulls me closer so I am against her head to toe, she goes mmhmmm, she grabs the sides of my Boxers at goes hummm! Motioning downwards. I unsuccessfully try to duplicate her underwear removal art form, she laughs smiling broadly. She draws me closer again and makes more mmmmm sounds purring away happily. I hold her tight, my right palm resting on her breast, she pushes her bottom towards me so we are as close as we could be, and I hold her with my left arms and use my free hand to run my fingers from her breasts down her sides then her lower back slowly ana softly. liv shivers ana I feel her bumps rising, with chattering teeth she says that feels soooo good, there�s not to many that can make my teeth chatter, I say umm err thankuu, i think? she snuggles into me as I wonder what most people do when they are with a girl they think is completely wonderful, I am happy I am doing ok in showing her that I think she is pretty damn spesh. she asks slightly softly if this is as very fucken nice for you as it is for me? I kiss her on her ear ana say hell yea! my hand is restin on her tummy my head on her shoulder, I can hear her heart beat kinda fast like mine, one of her legs is now slightly forward, I go past the obvious ana run my fingers along her inner thigh, Liv bumps almost immediately, she moves her leg forward exposing more of her inner thigh, she arcs her back ana bites her lip, ana suddenly says youll get me crazy ana stuff ana it will be yr fault, though dont stop! she grabs my hand and says umm here paaallleaaase, I am hesitant wasn�t sure if I wanted to make her crazy, I guess she's cool with it though. My sweat is getting in my eyes, stinging, I feel washed out in the nicest way. She stops ana rolls onto her other side so she facing me, she�s smiling widely. she jumps on top of me again her intense bloo eyes never breaking from my eyes, she�s looking at me, thru me, she�s searching my eyes, going further than anyone every has, she�s drawing out what I am thinking. the slightest movement forward by her, and well that�s that She�s liking being at the threshold, dangling feet at the unstable edge of the abyss, I like it too, I am in no hurry to go anywhere, she finally says I am in no hurry either! I am so glad yr the way you are! She carefully leans forward without moving her hips, and kisses me with a passion, her hair falling over me, her arms supporting my head, the other around my shoulders holding me ever so tightly. My hands supporting her head at the nape the other holding her just as tight alternating from her shoulders to her lower back. She slowly arcs her back ana sits up, her hairs a mess, I love messy hair, its so damn hottie. She slides back very... very slowly whilst breathing in raggedly, very very deeply, she�s resting jus above my knees before she exhales jus as deeply, saying breathily, dammmn that was soooooo nice, and then she bites her lip, and then smiles broadly. She�s still shaking ana chattering, her wonderful bloo intense eyes are now dreamy, though still intense. She plays with my hair reassuringly, patting me ana caressing me.
eventually Liv hops off me, we are together again head to toe, drifting in ana outta sleep together, I can feel my heartbeat and hers on my open palm resting on her breast. She�s so warm, so strong; her intensity ana hope makes me feel obsolete. I take time to prop myself up to appreciate who ana what she is, I am gazing in open admiration as she rouses from her sleep, looking up smiling half asleep-ly soft bloos still intense, she asks what I am thinking bout, I tell her in a fragmented sort of way, she squeezes my hand warmly, saying so u like me huh? I say yep. Her intense bloos smile as she slowly drifts off.
I realized at that point that no matter what becomes of us, no matter how many years pass in absence, or together, no matter who we both meet, no matter whom we come to love, no matter where we drift too I knew I would never ever ever forget her eyes her smile and this night. I also knew that she would remember me ana this night forever..amen. Liv showed me what I should feel bout a girl, she had shown me something that was so much more than I had expected, which I hadn�t felt with my previous girls. Liv had shown me what I wanted so happily, gracefully ana clearly, qualities I would search for until I find them, never ever settling with less, being alone is bettah than being alone with the person yr with. I would no longer jus fool round jus cause I am bored, as I have done, I now know better. I am not better than; I just know what it is I want.





      

 

 

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