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Short Stories

Architects Of Our Own Demise by Harvey Kennett Man questions God for answers... and God replies... [369 words]
A Staged Disappearance by Ekaterina Alexandrova A Staged Disappearance by Kate Alexander. This story is based on a real person and thei... [2,277 words]
Anticipation by Ekaterina Alexandrova Anticipation by Kate Alexander. ... thoughts about a dead body. [789 words]
The Stair Case by Shelley Alongi Aviation Story 6A. Several months after Anne and Andrew attend an airshow (which I haven't writ... [2,903 words]
Prelude To Separation by Shelley Alongi In 1774 Thomas Jefferson penned a pamphlet that after some delay became the philosophical... [1,763 words]
Fear Of Water by E Rocco Caldwell What's is in out drinking water anyways? [637 words]
Calling by Shelley Alongi Aviation story 16. Romance, roses, and a cool summer morning all give us a glimpse into how Anne and A... [1,580 words]
A Not So Ordinary Day by Shelley Alongi Aviation story 15. A glimpse into the sometimes frazzled existance of a general aviation... [2,064 words]
For Love Of Lessons by Shelley Alongi Aviation Story 13. Anne and Andrew Crance have lived in this house for about fifteen years ... [2,295 words]
Little Things by Shelley Alongi Aviation Story 7A. Anne and Andrew's first year of marriage is a good one. Humor, ritual, and lo... [1,672 words]
Confidence by Shelley Alongi Aviation Story 12. Andrew helps a passenger become more comfortable with flight. We get to see him ... [1,712 words]
When The Gods Were Walking The Earth- Part 2 by Nik Siromah - [3,605 words]
Waiting For Ethel by AlexandrovaK About a man who realises something when it is too late..... [1,404 words]
Vomiting On Tony by Xoggoth The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words]
Vanishing by AlexandrovaK A madman comes to terms with his madness...... [2,347 words]
Unanswered Letters by Skyler Drevan - [354 words]
They Always Come Back by Paolo Debernardi The ghost story of a dead husband who wants to see again his wife. [541 words]
The Young Tigers And The Sugar Lumps by Nik Siromah - [2,789 words]
The Waiting by Paolo Debernardi The tragic love of a guy who is waiting for his lover but everything turned tragically. [704 words]
The Voice Of Melodi by GutierrezJ - [2,641 words]
The Vampires' Club by HarryPotterAGHp The twist of fate to lead you to the Undead! [904 words]
The Two Bills by Xoggoth William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words]
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony
The Raid On Castle Storm by NeedhamT In an age of blades and magic, mighty forces battle for the command of the world. Thi... [1,676 words]
The More You Wish... by BransonA A short story about a man given a gift people dream about, only to find out it's not nearl... [370 words]
The Literal Day by G David Schwartz The Literal Day is a surreal true story of a day no one would want to live through. [1,926 words]
The Last Decision by J A Little A man has robbed a bank and now he has come outside and the police has surrounded him and he ... [410 words]
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm by Xoggoth A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satani... [1,158 words]
The Fine Art Of Nitzing by Kathy Lafollett The rights of passage for both child and parent are numerous. This is one view of one ... [970 words]
The Door by Skyler Drevan Another addition to my 'Fable' collection. [287 words]
The Deetahgle by NeedhamT The ultimate vehicle is actually an animal bred with genetic engineering, a mix between a cheetah... [502 words]
The Briefcase by SidS It is about a soldier during the Kargil Conflict, his friendship with a journalist with a twist i... [825 words]
The Blue Insomnia by CalbayR A young man figures out his sad end as nobody's care and memory. [1,916 words]
The Beast Bar by HarryPotterAGHp It's a horror story with a gruesome end. You might find something in cmmon with your true monstro... [616 words]
The 5 Dollar Bill Story by NeedhamT Tells the story of how a 5 dollar bill travel through 3 totally different people. [986 words]
Success by Skyler Drevan Another part of my 'Fable' anthology. [275 words]
Speak Freely by Skyler Drevan This is another addition to my "Fable" anthology I am creating. [258 words]
Soup by Xoggoth A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words]
Some Body by Harvey Kennett Two lovers collide.... [220 words]
Sex Life Of The Amoeba by Xoggoth A serious paper on cellular mytosis in a well known eukarytic organism. The dirty little... [1,108 words]
Rons, Socketers And Knots by HaulicaM A young man guides the tourists into the virtual reality (or into the real virtuality... [2,311 words]
Resident Evil: The Iniative by DonnJ - [351 words]
More Beautiful Than You by IngramAE A couple waiting on their daughter at a train station. [740 words]
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions by Xoggoth A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words]
L'etranger by Nini A short story about living as a human being, realising how we view things from a very subjective poi... [1,057 words]
Let Me Be Your Friend by NilsonB Emily and her family have just moved into their new home, unaware that a psycho has escap... [5,002 words]
Lamb To The Slaughter by LloydT The story concerns a pop star, whose fans show him more appreciation than he bargins for ... [1,574 words]
Kulak by Nik Siromah - [2,613 words]
Jetel Forest by Steven T This is a short story I wrote for science class. I had to use certain words in the story, like wat... [336 words]
I Hate You, I Am Going To Kill You by LeighAN Jen hates something or someone, but she is going to kill it. [230 words]
Hoi, Hoi, Hoi, by Buxton A pitiful attempt at re-creating something that resembles The Clockwork Orange. Oh well here it... [286 words]
Heartburn by CalbayR Love Allergy anyone? Here's a comic take on a love phobic. [1,430 words]
Go Away! by Skyler Drevan She screamed louder than ever before. [254 words]
Exile Of Terror by Robert E Tadlock A galactic bounty hunter chases one of the most evil of demons. Earth will never be the same. [2,179 words]
End Of Season by Amelia R James The challenges and rewards of child rearing after a divorce. [690 words]
Dosvidanya by WigginP A short story about a mutiny aboard a Russian K-159 submarine. [1,134 words]
Disturbing Gift by Skyler Drevan This is a short story that has a taboo subject twist to it. Tell me what ya think. [262 words]
Devoted Husband And Father by Skyler Drevan - [268 words]
Delta Centauri by Paolo Debernardi The alien abduction of a man who will see life different from this experience. [1,593 words]
Blood Sister's by GutierrezJ - [1,473 words]
Awkward Osculation by StrawT The story of a boy, a girl, and a, well, read the bloody title. [762 words]
Arnie by Xoggoth A little labourer has a terminator approach to his work. [646 words]
Amnesty by Xoggoth A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words]
A Wrong Turn Somewhere by Xoggoth Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words]
A Vampire's Mansion by J A Little Seven teens here about an old legend and they went to see if its true and they get the surp... [2,077 words]
A Stroll Through The Jungle by Lanaia Lee This is my first attempt at writing a short story I usually write poetry. [907 words]
A Good Citizen From Stillwater by Gerald L Bosacker A short story. [1,565 words]
A Capital Fart by Xoggoth The redundant London underground is pressed into service to win a world farting contest. [736 words]
1 Part, When The Gods Were Walking The Earth by Nik Siromah - [3,832 words]
The Pursuit Of Happiness by Shelley Alongi A hot, humid night in Philadelphia sets the course for the coming centuries as Thomas ... [1,102 words]
The Wild Flee by Rae An ode to imaginary friends. [471 words]
The Way It Is by Daniel Jake Progress is in the eye of the beholder. [436 words]
The Legend Of Pygman by David Clark Long ago in ancient Greece there lived a hero that toppled an empire, freed a nation, and ... [4,545 words]
The Hunter And It's Prey by E Rocco Caldwell - [446 words]
The Hunger by David B Doc Byron An ancient planet/entity/being voices it's opinion. [243 words]
The Game by E Rocco Caldwell A contractor contracted to knock down the last vestment of baseball learns the power of the game. [1,838 words]
The First Cut Was The Last by Harvey Kennett One man's irrational fear following a shocking discovery. [813 words]
The Empty Room by Norman A Rubin Loneliness in a furnished room except for memories. [2,359 words]
Still Unsolved by Richard Koss A successful mystery writer returns to his old home town and recalls an unsolved mystery he neve... [2,136 words]
She Had Her Dog With Her by Wolfa Fiction/vaguely fantasy short story about someone obsessed with a woman. [2,617 words]
Raidon Plains Pt 1 by Michael S Upchurch What's the difference, nobody reviews anything on this website anyway. [3,602 words]
Probing by Skyler Drevan This is a short story I wrote for my psychology class. It's written as a sadistic persona similiar to t... [1,489 words]
Pretty Mary Ellen by Norman A Rubin A missing little girl disappears and found dead after being violated by a sexual maniac. [1,588 words]
Nobody Heard Me by Harvey Kennett If you found this when you returned home, how would you react ? [577 words]
Moonlight Enchantress Part Ii by Martini The second chain of D.Donley's "The Moon Enchantress" [142 words]
Moonlight Enchantress Part 4 by D Donely Here we have it, the 4th installment of this CHAIN STORY. C'mon, you know you want... [330 words]
Hindsight by Johnny Moore "Hindsight" is a science fiction short-story that takes place on planet Pluto. Two astronauts are se... [1,300 words]
Gunning Down Romance by Emma Roberts The story is tragic and has a moral parrallel with the current high- profile topic of teen... [1,425 words]
Devastation by Buxton A one man journal piece, in the events after the end of the world.... [432 words]
Dead Letter Office - A Serial Short Story by David B Doc Byron A drug addled scientist attempts to create the perfect killing machin... [256 words]
Cryosleep by David B Doc Byron An ailen exacts his revenge upon his human oppressors. [386 words]
Codebreaker by E Thomas A historical fiction/science fiction story. This is based on the attempted takeover by Mary, Queen ... [4,363 words]
Child Murder by Skyler Drevan Another story written for my psychology class on a study in child criminalization in the last fift... [7,471 words]
Chicago Cutlery by Kathy Lafollett A glimpse in the life of utensily challenged mom. [1,229 words]
Cassius-The-Leg by Buxton A true story of a young squirrel's fight against repression and a day that would mark the end t... [648 words]
Can You Trust Us Strangers ? by Harvey Kennett Your life is not your own... [304 words]
Biding Its Time by Harvey Kennett Sometimes, you cannot rush Nature... [836 words]
A Trip To The Dentists' by Mulan A man shares his fear of the Dentist... comedy. [959 words]
A Sense Of Timing by E Rocco Caldwell - [564 words]
Ejaculating Jesus by Sean Scully Sinfully delicious. This story was semi inspired by a great novel called "Ten Thousand Sorrow... [1,987 words]
What You Deserve by Hope C Clarke A short story. [2,768 words]
Videotape by Skyler Drevan This is a short story I wrote after reading a particularly interesting book and was far too full of a... [7,472 words]
Two Lives by Theresa I am very family oriented, we have five generations living on both sides of our family-and it is quit... [823 words]
The World Can Be A Dangerous Place by Vyacheslav Yampolsky A weird little story, about nothing, or everything. You decide. [707 words]
The Rescue by Justin B William Justice Sometimes the things that we fear most lead to salvation. [666 words]
The Man Who Turns The World With His Feet by Paul Leighland MacLaine An ancient pendant, a Gypsy curse and a small child all combine to re... [1,884 words]
The Living Truth by Deborah Coleman - [2,168 words]
The Last Exam by Jack Arnold A student sits pondering his life during his final school exam. [1,443 words]
The Invisible Wall! by Penny Groh - [595 words]
The Fight by Skyler Drevan A true story narrarated by me about a horrible marriage and the fight that led to the bitter end. [1,499 words]
The Father by Roxi Bri Love has no limits... [575 words]
The Butterfly's Cocoon! by Penny Groh - [384 words]
Sheela by David B Doc Byron An avid fan of hunting wild game is suddenly faced with the idea of preserving life. [674 words]
Saturday Night by Wolfa A woman living in a post-apocalyptic future in an empty city. I wrote this several months ago, ... [1,484 words]
Paranoia by David B Doc Byron If Michelle liked my story ''MAGIC,'' she'll love this one. [444 words]
Oliver's Secret Love by Sir Oliver An older man falls in love with a very, very young woman and keeps it a secret. [559 words]
Oh Shit (Pt 2) by D Donely Just the ending of the first part. About a night with my "stoner" friend. hehe. Don't ask... [808 words]
Nuclear Fire Turkeys by Benjamin Ian Osborne A story that originally explains how man acctually came into being. [2,525 words]
Nightmare At Brushy Creek by D G Williford While sleeping dreams become reality... [106 words]
Magic by David B Doc Byron A magician meets up with his successor. [263 words]
Life Lessons! by Penny Groh Lessons in life I learned along the way. [620 words]
Instincts by E Rocco Caldwell A young reformed gang member is trying to just survive the night and make it home. [3,398 words]
I'm Coming For You by David B Doc Byron A devout Atheist decides to meet his maker... ....the hard way. [526 words]
Fool Fish: A Parable by Jt Pearce Besides farming, the town of Granville has always been know for its fantastic fishing. So ... [4,233 words]
Father Love by Arthuro Western (classic shootout with a twist) [436 words]
Escape by Randall L Perkins A tortured soul attempts to escape abuse. [664 words]
Dreamfix Part Two by David B Doc Byron A hopeless drug addict descends into junkie hell. [355 words]
Dreamfix Part Three by David B Doc Byron Leo gets introduced to the ''Re-conditioning Center.'' [342 words]
Dreamfix - Part One by David B Doc Byron A junkie's drug induced demons catch up with him. [185 words]
Dreamfix - I'm Closing The Story. by David B Doc Byron Since nobody wanted to read it or review it, I'm closing it. [154 words]
Divine Domain by Harvey Kennett The search for God takes many forms, not least of which is the Internet. A young man stumbles acr... [1,471 words]
Brimstone by David B Doc Byron A telephone conversation between two of the US of A's most ''intelligent'' scientists. [421 words]
Voodoo Moon by David B Doc Byron An infertile couple adopt a baby. [283 words]
The Thing On The Ice by Paula Poland Based on a real teen who visits the Okoboji (Iowa) web site and posts his messages using a... [1,276 words]
The Lake, My Mom, And The Sears Dressing Room by Ariana Linkletter Written out of appreciation for my mom and her patience with her ... [1,363 words]
The Immortality Thief by David B Doc Byron A college professor meets up with his worst nightmare. [480 words]
The Eleventh Commandment by Robert Remington Abbot Anna Winslow was about to become the first and last time traveler on a 25 billion year... [3,050 words]
The Death Of A Gecko by Sean Scully A short story about having gas. [122 words]
The Breakfast Club by Glenn G Deweese Cops, Suicide, Breakfast. [2,254 words]
The Bracken Bloom by Gene O'div - [9,589 words]
My Big Sister And The Fly by Ariana Linkletter A silly story about a fat fly. [639 words]
Miss Lavinia's Portrait by Laura Mae Oldham-Brownell This piece is set in Europe during the late 1800's. Hopefully, it will take the reader ... [479 words]
Miles J. Jax, An Early Day In The Life by Branson Storm This section is an early excerpt from my novel. It will hopefully give ... [4,566 words]
Kaleidoscope Maker by T Bianafka Fictional short story about how bad things can happen to good people when they try to do goo... [2,350 words]
Just When Everything Seemed Fine by Hanan Al Kindi It was going to be the best holiday ever, until... [1,685 words]
Inbred by David B Doc Byron A story based on the mass murderer Ed Gein. [303 words]
Easter by Gene O'div - [7,381 words]
Chemo Pastry Party by Branson Storm Miles walks through a dream induced by the drugs of his chemotherapy. [1,096 words]
Cannibals by David B Doc Byron Two holocaust survivors learn the hard way how to survive. [334 words]
Amelia Has Been Forgotten by Freedom Fries - [2,710 words]
The Cozy Rest Motel by Paula Poland The Cozy Rest Motel: A woman traveling alone on business through rural Missouri is compelle... [2,033 words]
Smash Hit! by Z Miah A short story about three friends. [869 words]
Robertson County by Falconcraft Growing up in Texas, a brief episode with the law in an adjourning county. [1,296 words]
Braided Belt From Hell by D G Williford Frustration of trying to get to work on a rainy day... [393 words]

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The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony
Foul deeds on the dead sea coast get their richly deserved comeuppance.
[1,377 words]
[March 2004]
A Capital Fart (Short Stories) The redundant London underground is pressed into service to win a world farting contest. [736 words] [Humor]
A Wrong Turn Somewhere (Short Stories) Somewhere near Birmingham a driver takes a wrong turn and loses everything. [492 words] [Mystical]
Amnesty (Short Stories) A gun amnesty in a rough borough of London goes idiotically wrong. [561 words] [Comedy]
Arnie (Short Stories) A little labourer has a terminator approach to his work. [646 words] [Humor]
Back To The Garden (Short Stories) Depressing the extent to which everything is being dumbed down these days. Poor state education? Is that all it is? [527 words] [Mind]
Changing To Go Out (Short Stories) In the aftermath of the genetic bomb, a simple night at the pictures with the missus is no easy task. [444 words] [Humor]
God's Trainees (Short Stories) Him upstairs is thinking of retiring, all he needs to do is train up some suitable replacements. Easier said than done. They just don't make deities the way the used to. [1,570 words] [Humor]
Mementoes Of Treasured Occasions (Short Stories) A struggling photographer finds a rich new source of business. [496 words] [Humor]
Providing For Sarah (Short Stories) A desolate man finds comfort in an imaginary (?) companion. But who will care for her when he's gone? [883 words] [Mind]
Sex Life Of The Amoeba (Short Stories) A serious paper on cellular mytosis in a well known eukarytic organism. The dirty little... [1,108 words] [Humor]
Soup (Short Stories) A soup manufacturer ends life on Earth. [514 words] [Comedy]
The Adventures Of Archie 1 - The Great Escape (Short Stories) A sort of Alice in Wonderland meets Canterbury Tales sort of thing but sillier than the former and even more boring than the latter. In episode 1 our elderly rabbit hero escapes his hutch and disappe... [473 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 2 - The Little Demon's Tale (Short Stories) A hell spawned satanic creature identifies too much with men and falls to their level. [901 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 3 - The Spider Catcher's Tale. (Short Stories) Archie escapes from the paralysing purple and find himself in a world where an avoidable infestation has eaten all the perspective. There he meets the spider catcher and learns why ballroom dancing i... [1,313 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4a - The Great Regurgitato (Short Stories) Achie learns of the greats of bodily functions and meets the greatest of them all. [781 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 4b - The Great Regurgitato's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [823 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 5a - The Army Surplus Salesman (Short Stories) Archie learns the truth they try and keep from us, that being disembowelled is fun, meets a descendant of the Piltdown man and travels to the army surplus fair to find Little Boy is no bargain. [913 words]
The Adventures Of Archie 6 - A Peaceful Solution (Short Stories) Following a Little Boy explosion Archie find himself on a desolate plain and meets two tribes who are too stupid to realise that war and bloodshed are by far the most efficient means of resolving disp... [1,271 words] [Humor]
The Adventures Of Archie 7 - The Puzzleman's Tale (Short Stories) Archie finds he is not alone in the valley. He shares it with a man in a very strange prison. You have to endure a little homily on man's inhumanity to decorating materials first. [2,988 words] [Humor]
The Adventuresof Archie 5b - The Army Surplus Salesman's Tale (Short Stories) Continued. [1,116 words]
The Fly And... (Short Stories) That Geoff Goldblum had it easy! One fly?? I should have been so lucky! [483 words] [Humor]
The Horrid Tale Of Evil Worm (Short Stories) A rare accident in the vegetable patch transforms a humble earthworm into a satanic being. [1,158 words]
The Two Bills (Short Stories) William Shakespeare fails to get to grips with Microsoft Word. [777 words]
Vomiting On Tony (Short Stories) The Mad Messiah (AKA Tony Blair) gets what he thoroughly deserves. [499 words] [Humor]
Your Little God Is Pooh And Creepy Too (Short Stories) Only the innocent find salvation. In the run up to the revelation the kids of St Crispin's Middle School are introduced to their own little salvations. PS I know Buddha was not a god, it's creative l... [1,442 words] [Humor]
The Several Voyages Of Fat Tony

The epithet of the gangland boss 'Fat' Tony Romero was something of an understatement, most of his colleagues in crime called him Norm, short for bleedin' enormous, not in his earshot of course.

Romero bought a villa on a remote part of the Eastern shore of the Dead Sea where he would often go with his two loyal bodyguards, Mike and Luigi, and slob about by the poolside eating vast quantities of pasta and ice cream. Unfortunately for him, the two bodyguards were not loyal and had accepted large sums from a gangland rival to dispose of him. By pinioning his arms and placing a plastic bag over his head they did so with very little mess, outside of the gigantic swimming trunks at least.

It suited their paymasters to create an impression that Tony had fled to avoid a looming threat of prosecution, and it was essential that they dispose of the body and leave no obvious clues to his fate. There were no tools in the Villa that would allow burial in the hard rocky terrain, so Tony had to sleep with the fishes, metaphorically speaking of course, since every schoolboy knows there are no fish in the Dead Sea.

Tony had not exactly been the active outdoor type and the only boat was a small metal rowing boat, but it would do. After a few vinos to steady their nerves, they searched for a suitable weight and there was little choice there either, the villa had plenty of expensive wooden furniture but very few compact heavy items. They settled on a stone lion, actually a priceless Mesopotamian relic, but culture was not their strong point. Then they set about getting the huge inert body to the boat.

Mike and Luigi were not terribly bright. They struggled for nearly two hours to get the huge corpse into the small boat, and then struggled unsuccessfully to get in themselves. It dawned on them that, even if they could manage to row the boat with the gigantic cadaver taking up most of the room, it would be quite impossible to dispose of the corpse at sea without capsizing. They went off for a few hourís rest, some vinos and a rethink.

You or I might suss that the easiest way to get a very large corpse out of a small rowing boat in shallow water would be to tip it out and then invert the boat to empty out the water. Our pair spent another hour in the searing heat lifting the huge body out. After another rest by the pool and a few more vinos, they came back, put the stone lion in the boat, tied a rope around the neck of the corpse and set out to sea, the great white bulk bobbing behind them. 200 yards out they tied the lion to their end of the rope and threw it overboard. The corpse's balding head disappeared beneath the waterline and the shoulders sunk lower but the rest stayed afloat.

They went back to the villa, had a rest and a few vinos and looked around for something else. Nobody would miss the microwave. When they came out with it three hours later the strong wind had blown the corpse back to shore were it lay like a small dredger bobbing gently at a stone lion anchor. A seabird was standing on the huge belly ferreting under the waistband of the trunks. They put the lion and the microwave in the boat, tied the corpse to it and set off again. This time the corpse sunk as far as the navel.

They returned to the villa for a kip and a few more vinos. In the poolside hut they found the ideal object, a small but heavy portable generator. They tested it out this time. They tied the generator around the neck of the corpse, which had again drifted to the shore complete with stone lion, microwave and a small flock of seabirds rummaging under the swimming trunks, and it submerged. Sorted! But they were too hot and tired to go out again today. They put the stone lion, the microwave and the generator in the boat, tied the corpse to the boat and the boat to the jetty and went in.

When they came out the next morning the corpse had already begun to decompose in the heat. Tony was even more bloated than he had been in life, there was a faint sickly smell and what the seabirds had done under the unpleasantly decorated swimming trunks was not nice to see. They had to get this over with as quickly as possible. 200 yards out they attached the stone lion, the microwave and the generator to the rope around the corpse's neck and threw them overboard. The corpse disappeared only as far as where the waist would have been on most people. With all the gas it was much more buoyant.

Back to the villa for a siesta, a few vinos and a large kitchen knife to puncture the corpse with. Accompanied by stone lion, microwave, portable generator and a huge flock of seabirds it bobbed against the shore. It would have been sensible to tow the corpse back out to sea before using the knife, but Luigi thrust it through the huge layer of fat and sawed upwards. The sudden horrible stench drove them back to the villa to recuperate over a few more vinos.

When then came out a few hours later, the combined actions of the waves and the seabirds, who had discovered that the contents of Tony's belly were a bit more nourishing than those of his swimming trunks, had displaced most of the corpse's bowels. They bobbed in huge jellyfish-like masses around the cadaver. Fortunately, the contents of the bowels had largely been deposited in the swimming trunks at the time of death and had at least been partially contained. Nevertheless, the smell was overwhelming. The seabirds had also eaten the eyeballs; after all, this was an Arab country. Shocked at the sight and odour they withdrew to steady their nerves with a few more vinos by the poolside.

Suitably steeled to the task they went back two hours later to find that, not only was the smell and appearance far worse, but that the shredding bowels had tangled themselves thoroughly in the ancient timbers of the jetty. Disentangling slippery decaying bowels from slippery decaying wood is not a simple task even if you have not consumed several glasses of wine and it was nearly two hours before they had managed to stuff them back into their former accommodation and secure them in place with some string. They felt so nauseated after that that they left the final disposal to the next day.

Two days and nights in the searing heat of the Dead Sea basin is inclined to put meat beyond its consume by date quite quickly, not that the sea birds seemed bothered. Fat Tony was gruesome and turning black. Trying to avoid looking at him and especially not to breath downwind of him they again set off with him in tow, together with lion, microwave, generator and a heavy pair of brass firedogs just in case. They had barely left the beach when two Jordanian naval patrol boats appeared just up the coast and they had to abandon their mission. The boats, searching for smugglers, patrolled the area for nearly two weeks while fat Tony ripened and swelled under the Jetty.

They towed the immense black and reeking corpse out for what they hoped would be the last trip. 200 yards out they attached their end of the rope to the lion, the microwave, the generator and both firedogs and threw them over. Fat Tony plummeted beneath the waves and disappeared. They opened a bottle of wine in celebration and were halfway through it when Fat Tony, minus his head, shot 15 feet clear of the water like a small killer whale trailing a string of rancid entrails and crashed down on them.

Two weeks later the boat with the grizzly contents almost as liquid as the surrounding water was washed up on an Israeli tourist beach packed with happily holidaying families. Of any other occupants there was no sign, only a half empty wine bottle and two glasses.


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August 2003

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