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The Three Rotten Sisters
A funny short story about three snoody women who marry three fine gentlemen. In the end there is a strange twist, and the rotten sisters are paid back for years of abuse. Bone Apatite.
Christopher W Sorenson
I am a young man of 20yrs. I currently live in North Dakota, and am enrolled at the University of North Dakota. I love to write, it has become a real fun hobby.
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
The Three Rotten Sisters
Christopher W Sorenson
The Three Rotten Sisters
As you may have guessed, there were once three rotten sisters. Each one was just as awful as the next, and they all held their noses up just as high no matter where they went. Due to years of poor upbringing and an absence of discipline, each one was completely spoiled.
Madly in love with these three rotten sisters, were three charming young gentlemen. Each one as benevolent as the next, and they all bowed to every lady and child no matter where they went. After years of proper upbringing and gentle discipline, each one was exceptionally well mannered.
“Oh Jessenia, you look so plump today!” Would say Emily. “As do you my rotten sibling!” Returned Jessenia. “ Now now my dears, do not dispute. You are both truly repulsing. The twinkle in your eyes matches quite well with the shine of your noses.” Added Amy.
No one knows exactly what the three young gentlemen saw in those three rotten sisters. Perhaps, it was the large bustles they wore; making their already large posteriors’ look quite robust and wonderfully salubrious. Or perhaps, it was the way they so daintily powdered their faces before an afternoon of sipping fine wines
No one knows exactly why the three jealous sisters agreed to marry the three fine gentlemen. Perhaps, it was because of the way the summer sun tanned their faces a light golden brown. Or perhaps, it was the way they could work hard all day in a field gathering hay for their livestock.
“My fine brother, I thank you for being at this wedding.” Said Bartholomew “I am pleased to be, for it is my wedding too!” Replied Olsen. “You are both such wonderful siblings, let us hug in unison!” Added Jacob.
After the weddings, several seasons past as they always do. One large mansion was built at the request of the three rotten sisters, where each couple would remain in the bond of marriage. It was fitted with all of the finest drapes, furniture, and floorings. But most importantly, a beautiful dining room was built in which
the three couples would feast upon mutton, beef, and poultry every night. (Of course at the demand of the three rotten sisters who so dearly loved to satiate themselves.)
After several years, there were still no children to any of the couples. Perhaps, it was because of the constant torment of the three gentlemen; making them all physically and mentally unwilling to produce any offspring. Nevertheless, the three rotten sisters would never let there three unfortunate husbands forget of their short comings.
“You rotten men, you could not even make us a proper omelet, let alone a child!” Would yell the sisters. “I am sorry my wife for my ill performance.” Replied the gentlemen. “Baaaaa! Hogwash to all of you!” The sisters added.
More years past, each one more tormenting than the previous. Each sister could always be found arguing with each other and their husbands too. Subjects such as teatime, cake parties, and balls were always of constant dispute in the large mansion.
However, over each miserable year, one tradition held true. Each night all three couples would meet in the large dining room for the usual feast of the three meats mutton, beef and poultry. This feast had now become the three gentlemen’s only true love, except for the brotherly bond that they had still managed to hold strong over the
painful years of torment.
“We must rid our selves of these vile creatures that plague us so cruely!” Stated Bartholomew. “You are right my brother, lets us do just that!” Replied Olsen . “I believe I have a plan that may surely save us!” Added Jacob
The three gentlemen snuck out late on several nights, meeting in secrecy within the large dining room. After a fortnight, they developed a plan that would most likely be the envy of any mistreated husband. In fact, the plan was utterly flawless and the wives would soon be gone, never to torment the three gentlemen again.
The next evening, at the usual time, the three gentlemen arrived at the dining room and seated themselves politely. The feast of three meats began, however there was something missing. That was indeed the three rotten sisters.
“Could you please pass the leg of Emily, it is quite delicious! Asked Bartholomew. “Oh yes my fine brother, but only in trade for a haunch of Jessenia! Replied Olsen. My dear brothers! You must save room for dessert; for we are having an elegant spread of lady fingers, and quite a treat they shall be!” Added Jacob.
And maybe after all, the three rotten sisters were perhaps sweet.
(On the inside that is!)
|READER'S REVIEWS (2)
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"Ha ha ha. very well written, if a trifle 'gross' at the ending. LOL. Love your style. U r very good. The story is not much..but the style makes it very funny. U hv the gift of being comic. keep it up. I'd also like a review of my work on storymania. :)" -- Avis, Mumbai, India.
"Sorry, but i thought your short story was a little...umm...unoriginal. Obviously the men were going to kill the sisters. The twist at the end wasn't really a twist. Maybe if the sisters would have killed the men instead of the opposite. Then that would have been a twist. And HOW did the men kill the sisters. There is no suspense in the story. What happened?" -- Karina, chicago, il, usa.
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© 2004 Christopher W Sorenson
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