Voices by Jack Linton Thirty-five years ago, Jacob McLoy lost someone very dear to him. He longs to find her through the voic... [1,315 words]
My Message Of Caress by Jacqueline Anel Sheppard This story is about the depth of a daughter towards life and how her existance leads to he... [452 words]
Sincerely, Michelle White by Shelley Alongi A prominent recording executive realizes her relationship with a band manager has bee... [2,207 words]
Lessons by Albert Davis A short foray into minor philosophy and perhaps a little amusing. [1,359 words]
Tuck And I Steal A Boat To Go Catfishing by Matthew Dean Tuck and I steal a boat to go catfishing. [939 words]
The Night We Saw The UFO by Matthew Dean The night we saw the UFO... [435 words]
Scott Wrestles A Coyote by Matthew Dean Scott wrestles a Coyote. [1,838 words]
Scott Decides To Teach Us How To Break Horses by Matthew Dean Scott decides to teach us how to break horses. [675 words]
Night Run by Song Wright A teenager helps her friend to run away from home in the middle of the night. [2,184 words]
Loss Of Sanity - The Franie D. Story by Christopher McCoy "Love at first site, it may sound trite, but it's true, you know." - Morri... [4,326 words]
Just A Nightmare by Glen Pearson A disturbing short account of a power cut in a family home where a small boys nightmare become... [1,910 words]
How William Fell Into The Septic Tank
How I Talked My Brother Into Digging by Matthew Dean How I talked my brother into digging up the septic tank. [430 words]
Reflections by Jennifer Nobile Raymond A young woman's unusual experience on a city bus...EXCERPT - “Want to talk? We could go somewhere... [2,171 words]
Stolen Innocence by Deb Meyer Elaine, a gullable high school girl which lacks self-confidence and her own identity, is bulli... [1,743 words]
Night Of Living Hell by Paula M Shackleford This is a story I wrote a couple of years ago about a girl who is waiting outside the cine... [1,227 words]
The Lesser Evil by Nan Deyo “You ain’t tellin’ me my babies is dead.” She was crouched on the foul and reeking stairs, arm... [3,778 words]
Family Genes Considered by Richard Koss A story that is unfortunately, much closer to the truth than not. Although the main ch... [1,198 words]
Glass by Shelley Alongi About the thoughts and reactions of a little girl viewing a riot taking place in a street in Germany duri... [1,021 words]
The Woman by Shelley Alongi About the last moments of a woman who perishes in an Auschwitz death chamber and how one person's mem... [790 words]
A Better Place To Be by Steven R. Kravsow Bennie Dean is a tiny little man with a crooked little smile who marks the passage of his ... [788 words]
The Sweater by Jennifer M Haynes Andy finds his dead brother's body in the backyard, and takes the sweater to see if he can catch th... [500 words]
The Smart-Ass Shall Inherit The Earth by John C Smith A true story about winning by losing. [399 words]
Sad Poem by Sunny i cut my soul and let it bleed on the paper. [295 words]
Chances Are by Rekha Ambardar A romantic short story. [1,899 words]
Splitting by Paula M Shackleford When Anna's boyfriend decides to break up with her, Anna is the one who ends up laughing. [1,001 words]
Charlie And Mrs. Miller by Richard Koss A very short story about an old woman on her death bed whose last request is to see an ... [585 words]
Crushed by Paula M Shackleford The story of how a fulfilled crush doesn't necessarily make you happier. [2,005 words]
The General's Driver by Shelley Alongi About the relationship that exists between a top army general and his driver. [4,245 words]
The Omega Pin by Kevin J. Miller A short-short, Apocalyptic burlesque. [263 words]
Mabel by ~Blythe~ You see all sorts of things when you work behind a bar, this isn't so much what I see, but its what I'd d... [238 words]
Cybertalk by Paula M Shackleford Cassie, 20 years old and desperate for love, meets a guy on a chatroom who almost instantly claims to... [4,606 words]
Lillie by Ben-Ibn Balzac A short story of a man dreaming of his little girl after his wife has died giving birth to his daughter.... [1,375 words]
It's Only A Hat by Pat G'Orge-Walker Hilarious misadventures of the spiritually challenged members of the Ain't Nobody Else Right Bu... [5,379 words]
The Perfect Ending by Richard Koss A tale about a wanna-be writer trying to create a story with the perfect ending. With unsus... [642 words]
The Dowry by Richard Koss The Dowry is a story set in or around the year 2020, so I suppose you should consider it science fict... [2,448 words]
Forever, Inc. by Joseph Yenkavitch A man visits a company (Forever, Inc.) where his dead father's brain has been hooked to a virtual... [3,740 words]
The Nightmare by Natalia Pedroza A girl who is a drug addict and is becoming a prostitute. [120 words]
The Box (2) by Nathan C Hedberg Ranell Rabe, captain of the guard in the city of Jaida, is faced with the annihilation of his city ... [3,199 words]
Maudlin Street by Christopher McCoy Loosely based upon the song by Morrissey. The story is about a kid who falls in love with a girl... [4,865 words]
Rainy Day Kids by Jock Pichette The Rainy day Kids were young boy who found something to do, rain or shine, and before the age o... [2,208 words]
Innocent Betrayal by Naadira Shante Rushing - [160 words]
They Are Here by Kate Kreutzer-Spath They came through the windows last time. Why are they here? One woman's nightmare. I am not a... [610 words]
Where The Two Parallel Lines Have Met by Lawrence Naresh A short story. [1,354 words]
Drop And Give Me One! by John C Smith A short story. [1,015 words]
Street Battles by Jock Pichette Street Battles, is about a young boy without supervision, who is always sticking up for his frie... [3,252 words]
Going Out by Saskia Dodd About two girls getting ready to go out. [941 words]
Carey by Saskia Dodd About a girl who is on life support and her parents turn the machine off and about what happens to her pa... [1,023 words]
Rosemary's Gift by Andy Smith Most people know the story about the three wise men that traveled from afar to bring the baby J... [2,094 words]
Wind Dance by Traci McCoy A description of a woman enjoying the sensations of a cool breeze on an early spring night. [794 words]
Eviction Leads To A New Life by Jock Pichette Eviction Leads To A New Life is all about a young boy, and a mom who lived in a du... [2,738 words]
Jocko by Jock Pichette Involves a young boy who loved hockey, but also had a great deal of pride. So in order to learn how to sk... [2,438 words]
Horseshoe And A Red Truck by Jock Pichette A short story. [1,531 words]
Blind Pig by Jock Pichette Blind Pig, involves a Polish Immigrant who came to Canada, worked extremely hard in a packing house, ... [1,743 words]
Cattin' Around by Mary Carol Dill Mary Carroll A very short, slightly racy story about the illusion of romance... [261 words]
Going, Going... by Lisamarie Jones A man commits suicide, and then realises what he's missing. [1,330 words]
Sunny Money, A Collection by Shannon Pypper Leary Satirical collection of a child's point of view... [283 words]
Fatal Perception by Richard Koss An off-beat tale about an aging song writer who perceives he is being stalked by a strange lit... [2,959 words]
I Closed My Eyes (2) by Lisamarie Jones After committing suicide, a young man realises what a mistake it was. [1,356 words]
Clyde's Lot by H E Gurlitt Short story for adults, based on real events. [729 words]
Deep Cutting by Shannon C. A girl, wallowing in misery, decides cutting herself can take the pain away. [1,179 words]
An Unlikely Friend by Jennifer M Haynes A man with an unusual "job" while hitchhiking to get away from his last piece of work, meets... [1,622 words]
His Wife Could Eat No Lean by Mo Rogers [1,628 words]
Cyn by Paula M Shackleford Is Cynthia really cheating on Jerry? And, if she is, what is he going to do about it? [2,479 words]
His And Hers by Paula M Shackleford The story of a girl and guy on the same course at university. They think that they hate each other... [2,765 words]
Teaching Mindy by Mason Cole A New York private investigator and his assistant are handed the case of a lifetime. But will i... [11,186 words]
Rachel's Revenge by Ruth Gillis A beginning writer's reaction to an editor's rejection of her short story. [1,095 words]
Consider The Mule by Ruth Gillis A son meets with resistance when trying to provide care for his stubborn and elderly father. [2,459 words]
Don't Bank On It by Paula M Shackleford This is the story of how a petty argument can develop into a full-scale war, when it comes to ... [3,766 words]
Go to page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46  48 49
How William Fell Into The Septic Tank
The battles with our septic tank...and how Will fell into it.
Currently I live in Tampa, FL and work in the software industry. I have a Bachelors of Science degreee from Purdue University and have lived and worked in Syracuse New York, Charlotte North Carolina, Cleveland Ohio, Columbia South Carolina, Toronto Canada, Chicago Illinois, and Silicon Valley. I have interests in computer language design, compiler construction, database technologies, and story telling.
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
|AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (5)
How I Talked My Brother Into Digging (Short Stories) How I talked my brother into digging up the septic tank. [430 words]
Scott Decides To Teach Us How To Break Horses (Short Stories) Scott decides to teach us how to break horses. [675 words]
Scott Wrestles A Coyote (Short Stories) Scott wrestles a Coyote. [1,838 words]
The Night We Saw The UFO (Short Stories) The night we saw the UFO... [435 words]
Tuck And I Steal A Boat To Go Catfishing (Short Stories) Tuck and I steal a boat to go catfishing. [939 words]
How William Fell Into The Septic Tank
Growing up on a small farm is very unique experience. Some say it builds character,
others say that I am a character. Who knows what to say about this. All I know is that
when you're growing up in a rural farming area, your childhood friends seem to be cousins
and other farm kids in the area that you might have worked with at one time or another.
You always seem to be fixing something that is broken, like a hay rake, a rusted corn crib
roof, or even a septic tank.
The farm house we lived in didn't alway look as nice as it does today. It was a very old
house, and it took several years transform it into the beautiful house it is today. There
were several patches of bushes that had to be cut down, hog houses had to be moved,
we had to take off the green siding for some reason, (I always thought that the siding had
asbestos in it, but my dad it was just old), and the septic system had to be fixed. Lot of
times neighbors would help us out with different projects. That's kind of the way it works
in the country, you help your neighbor and your neighbor helps you.
Now, back to the septic system. For YEARS, my dad and I have debated whether this
thing was technically a "septic tank" or a "finger system". We have argued the merits of
both technologies back and forth many times, but could never agree on exactly what we
had in our back yard. It may have been a hybrid of the two. I think the first time I started
working on this thing I was about 8 or 9, and the last time I was probably about 16 or 17.
My dad and I would dig this thing up, clean it out, and then cover it back up. We would
dig up the back yard, side yard, mess around with these tiles, and try to get this stuff
straigtened out. The problem was that we had this kind of swamp area in the side yard
that I affectionately called "The Swamp of Bubbling Crude". My cousins and I would play
games sometimes, and pretend that we found oil just like Jed Clampet. It had a spot in the
center that looked just like the bubbling crude Jed found on the TV show - Beverly
Hillbillies. The entire area was probably about the size of a small car and was basically
just swamping looking grass, except for the center. The center was an area was about size
of a paper plate, and looked just like crude oil.
Eventually we got this swamp area worked down to just the bubbling crude area. I don't
know how many wheelbarrows of dirt I hauled to fill in that swampy area, but it was a lot.
It still took a few years to get the septic system completed fixed, but we did it. We
eventually put some gravel down, ran tile, roto-ruted, and did the whole thing correctly. It
just took us a little while.
Even though the swamp had all but disappeared, this area of the yard was still key for fun
and games with my friends. Many times it would be a gathering point before a dirt clod
fight, or a key position in a game of "kick the can". One day a couple of my cousins where
at our farm helping me work in the bean fields, and one of our neighbors came by. It was
Van and his son Will. Will was a good buddy of mine and the same age as me, so we had
a lot of fun together. It was about lunch time, so my cousins and I came in from the field.
My mom fixed us a hearty lunch and told us we could take a break before we had to go
back to work. Van had came over to talk to my dad about some mechanic work, and
Will had came along for the ride.
My cousins, Will, and myself decided to play a game. I forget the name of the game, but
premise was that someone would be "It" and everyone else would have to chase that
person and then tackle him. Well, I was "It" first. I took off running through the barn lot,
then I ran into the barn. I climbed up the haymount and then climbed out a window
because they were closing in on me. As soon as I hit the ground, I took off for the yard -
toward the Bubbling Crude. Tim was close behind me, and his brother Don was a few
steps behind him. Will was bringing up the rear because he wasn't all that familiar with the
terrain. I was running full spead towards the Bubbling Crude; I leaped over it. Tim was
close behind; He jumped over it. Don easily cleared it with his long legs. Then came Will,
running full blast. He was determined to catch me, but he wasn't watching where he was
going. He got close to the Bubbling Crude, then instead of jumping he slipped and fell. As
he fell he had his right arm fully extended to brace his fall.
Tim, Don, and myself stopped running when we heard Will yelling and cussing. We
looked back to see what he was so mad about. There he laid, with his face flat against the
ground and his left arm flailing in the air. We ran over to him and noticed that his right arm
was gone! He had burried his right arm dead center in the Bubbling Crude. We were
laughing so hard we couldn't help him pull himself out. He finally dislodged his arm and
pulled it out. There he was, standing in the yard with this pitch black stuff on the right side
of his face and completely covering his arm. His dad and mine came out of the pole-shed
to see what all the laughter was about. They could hardly stand up because they were
laughing so hard. We eventually hosed him off with water. Even today, I can still
remember the picture of him with his arm stuck in the ground. I still laugh about this.
|READER'S REVIEWS (3)
DISCLAIMER: STORYMANIA DOES NOT PROVIDE AND IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR REVIEWS. ALL REVIEWS ARE PROVIDED BY NON-ASSOCIATED VISITORS, REGARDLESS OF THE WAY THEY CALL THEMSELVES.
"Somehow I don't think it's a coincidence that the story entitled "Do Bears Shit in the Woods" is just below "How William Fell into the Septic Tank". I may have something more constructive to say later." -- EC Allen.
"Your septic was exposed like that? Didn't it stink? Isn't that horribly unsafe? Give us some more fishin' literature. You like them big cats? What knd of crops you growing? Did kids grow reefer out there?" -- Jarvis.
"Once again, there is a difference between autobiography and a fictional short story. Your spelling needs some work, and you are missing some words (eg, "...my dad it just old....")" -- TheCritic.
TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS CLICK HERE! (SELECT "MANAGE TITLE REVIEWS" ACTION)
Submit Your Review for How William Fell Into The Septic Tank
Required fields are marked with (*).
Your e-mail address will not be displayed.
Submit Your Rating for How William Fell Into The Septic Tank
© 2000 Matthew Dean
|STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
|NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED