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She Took Everything
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TITLE (EDIT)
She Took Everything
DESCRIPTION
-
[721 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Humor
AUTHOR
Markus Zonik
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Young, free and single.
[September 2008]
She Took Everything
Markus Zonik

             SHE TOOK EVERYTHING.

I flew home from a business trip this weekend and the airport taxi delivered me to an empty apartment. I don't mean that no one was there. I mean there was nothing in it. Nothing. This is not usual because it is my apartment. I pay the rent and it was full of my stuff. Was. I called the Rental Office hoping to speak to the manager, Judy. The office was closed so I left a message. I had obviously been robbed and was going to call the police but thought I should call my girlfriend first because all her stuff was gone too. I called Nancy at work:

Me: "Hi this is James. Is Nancy there?
Lady: "Nancy Taylor?"
Me: "Yes"
Lady: "Hold please"
Man: "This is David, the Manager. Can I help you?"
Me: "Er, yes. I'm calling for Nancy..."
Man: "Nancy Taylor?"
Me: "Yes"
Man: "Do you know where she is?"
Me: "What?"
Man: "Do you know where Nancy is?"
Me: "What?"
Man: "Listen, I'm just asking you if you know where Nancy is?"
Me: "That's why I'm calling you?"
Man: "What?"

The conversation went down hill from there. 'Who's on first', that kind of thing. Nancy quit 2 weeks ago and took with her the usual little mementos that employees grab to remind themselves of the good times: 2 printers, a commercial Xerox copier, the petty cash drawer and the collection jar for Mrs. Simpson who was retiring after 15 years of faithful service.
I called Nancy's cell phone but her number was no longer in service. I was worried. What if something had happened? I called her Mother, Judith, but apparently Judith had not lived at that number since 2006. Oh, and if I did speak to her could they have their Cadillac back?
I needed a breather. I sat down on the hardwood floors. I would not have known my apartment possessed hard wood floors but for the fact that all the carpeting was gone. I was hungry and thirsty. The kitchen rewarded me with a plastic cup and a single serving of porridge oats which took a while to find because all the handles were gone from the drawers and cabinets. I would have boiled the oats but without a sauce pan it would have been tough. Besides, the cooker was gone, so I added cold water to the oats in the cup and drank my dinner.
I was starting to get the picture. Rather than feel sorry for myself I thought ahead and realized I was going to need something to sleep on and maybe a few necessities to get me by until I sorted this all out. Off to the store! On foot, because my car was gone. I purchased a small bag of toiletries and some food basics – not much because I had to use the last of my cash due to none of my credit cards wanting to work.
It’s funny how one becomes aware of the little things. The echo in the apartment with nothing to absorb the sound. How are you going to wash what you are wearing because all your clothes are gone, presumably in the same transportation as the washing machine? All your favorite shows, recorded and waiting for your return are gone, along with the latest digital recorder and the Plasma TV. I would have contemplated borrowing a neighbors TV but the cable had been severed at the hole in the wall with surgical precision. I assume the copper cable has some street value.
I took a shower under the single stream of water. I will really miss my stainless steel ‘forest rain’ shower head. You would be amazed at how many paper towels it takes to dry a body. If you let them dry flat however, they can service as padding for those parts of your body that stick out when lying on a hard floor. I finally passed out at around 7:00 a.m. and was woken up by my cell phone at 8:00 a.m. After removing the paper towels stuck to my face, Judy from the Rental Office just wanted to let me know they never received the rental payment this month.
“No, I would remember if Nancy had come in with the cash”.
 “No I haven’t seen Nancy since a Cadillac picked her up on Saturday”
“I really don’t think that would be legal...”
“Does your security deposit cover carpets?”

 

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2008 Markus Zonik
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
September 2008
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
969
 

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