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Should Have Would Have, Could Have Been
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TITLE (EDIT)
Should Have Would Have, Could Have Been
DESCRIPTION
A story of regrets and mistakes....
[638 words]
AUTHOR
Alberto Pupo
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
-
[December 2000]
AUTHOR'S E-MAIL ADDRESS
therion33@hotmail.com
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (125)
21 Steps Till (Poetry) 21 steps till something occurs... [62 words]
A Game Of Lies (Poetry) Play the game to amuse yourself.... [63 words]
A Journey Throughout (Poetry) A journey... [73 words]
A Lack (Poetry) the confusion created when I miss her... [58 words]
A Path Now Divided (Poetry) Just when everything seemed certain... [59 words]
A Question Of Timing (Poetry) To time everything perfectly to time things right, or to forge forward. [74 words]
A Simple Concept.... (Poetry) A quirky little poem with a dash of humor, about.... [61 words]
After The Storm (Poetry) Dedicated to a love that has been tested by past phantoms but still goes on stronger than ever. [78 words]
Again Struckdown! (Poetry) About frustrations from a not so distant past.... [67 words]
Aimless (Poetry) For the first time understanding what its truly like to lose the love, of one you truly loved. [53 words]
Ambiguous Art (Poetry) Delve deeper to find meaning perhaps... [83 words]
An Ode To The One True Love. (Poetry) This is dedicated to the one I love and will always love, and I hope she will get the chance to read this one day. [128 words]
And So It Goes....... (Poetry) going........ [56 words]
Antidote To Love (Poetry) Is this the cure? [85 words]
Anwser To You (Poetry) Anwser? [48 words]
Awaiting A Call. (Poetry) Desperation at its finest... [71 words]
Before Me... (Poetry) Yes before me... [82 words]
Beg (Poetry) Plead [68 words]
Beyond Earthly Despair (Poetry) Simply beyond... [51 words]
Blinded (Poetry) Cannot see.... [57 words]
Code Red (Poetry) An alert to all [91 words]
Crimson Reverie (Poetry) - [48 words]
Danger... (Poetry) Is there something dangerous in passion? [102 words]
Dark Winter (Poetry) For it can truly be dark. [73 words]
Delusions Of Grandeur (Poetry) There is nothing more ridiculous than a self deluded individual.... [70 words]
Descending (Poetry) Prepare for the fall... [65 words]
Desires Fulfilled (Short Stories) Desires burn deep within the human mind sometimes to have them fulfilled can be lethal. [516 words] [Suspense]
Destiny Of Fools (Poetry) Are we fools destined for something, or is destiny for fools. [90 words]
Embrace Again (Poetry) Strange rantings... [87 words]
Emergence Of The Optimist (Poetry) Emerging from the ashes of the Pessimist. [160 words]
Emerging From Shadows (Poetry) The unexpected can often be disturbing. [101 words]
Emotion Pool (Poetry) A pool of emotions brewed into one. [42 words]
Emptiness Of Living. (Poetry) A life so hollow.... [56 words]
Essence Of Death (Poetry) Life... Death... [69 words]
Eyes Deceive (Poetry) All is illusory everything is deceptionary... [65 words]
Games We Play (Poetry) The games are played. [54 words]
Half An Epiphany (Poetry) To understand to an extent. [54 words]
Imprisoned (Poetry) Locked deep within... [52 words]
Infinite Ocean (Poetry) Oceans of infinity... [63 words]
Inner Demons (Poetry) How insecurity kills... [65 words]
Innocence Lost (Poetry) A loss. [93 words]
Into The Night (Poetry) from the darkness return.... [70 words]
Is This To Difficult To See? (Poetry) The truth about everything and what I feel for her, is it really that difficult for her to see.... [73 words]
Isolated (Poetry) Living in isolation. [42 words]
Jc Of The Kitchen (Poetry) A description of the prophet of the lake [104 words]
Journey Into Nothing (Poetry) Why the past means nothing yet is a plague to the mind... [80 words]
Keeper Of My Heart (Poetry) For my one true love I'm so glad Ifound yher andeven though we are physically seperated by distance we willbe together forever soon enough. [68 words]
La Epica (Poetry) Whatever it is, it has become [168 words]
Live It Up (Poetry) Indulgence is the theme of today. [66 words]
Logical Step... (Poetry) The next step.... [58 words]
Lost In A Thought (Poetry) Deep within the mind in the darkest of corners... [63 words]
Melancholia Darkness (Poetry) As the title implies [69 words]
Memories Of Destiny (Poetry) Remember.... [73 words]
Memories Of Her (Poetry) Only a memory. [102 words]
Mind Of The Betrayer (Poetry) So easily are we all deceived.... [118 words]
Mio Figlio (Poetry) To my son [76 words]
Missing In Action (Poetry) Longing.... [38 words]
Mistress Time.... (Poetry) Generous on the surface but deep down so terribly cruel.... [52 words]
Morbidity (Poetry) All that is Morbid. [56 words]
More Experimental Poems (Poetry) Yet again another experiment. [263 words]
Musings (Poetry) To simply Muse. [84 words]
Nocturnal Godess (Poetry) Love is much to strong... [66 words]
Oceans Of Deception (Poetry) Sailing through treacherous waters.... [62 words]
Ode To Love Bleeding (Poetry) How to find the cure for love... [57 words]
Ode To The False One... (Poetry) A short little invective against one who has caused her such great pain. [74 words]
On The Brink (Poetry) To die just a little every day. [55 words]
Pandemonium! (Poetry) Total chaos is afoot... [76 words]
Passion Reborn (Poetry) A flow of thoughts an outpouring of emotion, dedicated to a grow currently making a difference in my life. [105 words]
Pleasures! (Poetry) Simply Pleasure.... [50 words]
Poem To No One (Poetry) Because this is for that somebdy who is nobody... [89 words]
Pools... (Poetry) For love is predestined... [78 words]
Quagmire In Thought (Poetry) To decide or not to decide to forge ahead or not to, what will she do? [80 words]
Questioning... (Poetry) All must and will be questioned.. [89 words]
Realizations (Poetry) To realize... [64 words]
Reflection (Poetry) To reflect upon... [80 words]
Regretting Mistakes.. (Short Stories) a weird tale of a deranged little mind... [1,044 words]
Restless. (Poetry) Indeed. [56 words]
Returning To That Place (Poetry) Reawakening the Pessimist within. [50 words]
Rhyming With You (Poetry) To rhyme somehow. [33 words]
Salvation In Death (Short Stories) Things are never what they seem... [493 words] [Suspense]
Saturnine (Poetry) Depressing, yet enlightening... [90 words]
Searching For Sleep (Short Stories) Sometimes one cannot find the remedy or solution to the situtation... [536 words] [Suspense]
Secret Place (Poetry) Into the secrecy of nothing. [38 words]
Security Matters (Poetry) The words to ignite [100 words]
Settings (Poetry) To set the stage. [70 words]
Slave To The Imaginary (Poetry) Delving into irrational thought. [166 words]
So Now A Crescendo (Poetry) An end.... [55 words]
Sound And Sacrafice (Poetry) to the victor goes.. the spoils [87 words]
Speaking Of Which (Poetry) To speak. [96 words]
Spectre Of A Distant Past (Poetry) A memory of a girl who has faded.... [64 words]
Spellbound (Poetry) To a special someone who has left me simply spellbound. [56 words]
Stranded (Poetry) On this lonesome rock floating away.... [81 words]
Struggle (Poetry) To struggle. [84 words]
Struggles Within (Poetry) A battle against oneself... [53 words]
Suddenly Numb (Poetry) The unfortunate nature of relationships.... [46 words]
Taken (Poetry) To be taken. [46 words]
Taste.... (Poetry) A yearning to break free, and taste passion. [59 words]
That Saturday Night (Short Stories) A story of inner struggle and disbelief [766 words] [Thriller]
The Adulturess (Poetry) Dedicated to all the one's out there. [74 words]
The Experiment... (Poetry) A compilation of experimental type poetry... [224 words]
The Fall (Poetry) What goes up must... [64 words]
The Fruitless Search (Poetry) Love, a most ridiculous notion. [84 words]
The Grazing (Poetry) Grazing. [81 words]
The Mirror Image (Poetry) a redux now corrected [134 words]
The Mirror's Image (Poetry) Do you like what you see? [129 words]
The Replacement... (Poetry) Substituting one for the other... [57 words]
The Song Continues... (Poetry) We sing a most depressive little tune don't we? [58 words]
The Song Of A Goddess! (Poetry) To a Goddess which stirs my heart.... [82 words]
The X- Factor (Poetry) You may not know who you are.. [71 words]
To Diana Empress Of The Heart... (Poetry) Dedicated to the one I loved... Perhaps I still do love. [112 words]
To Enlighten (Poetry) A most noble quest to stroke the ego. [95 words]
To My Muse (Poetry) An ode to her. [118 words]
Tones (Poetry) A tone of misery and despair. [59 words]
Traces (Poetry) A fading trace... [56 words]
Tragic Truth (Poetry) Because the truth stings, reality is harsh. [76 words]
Travel In Darkness (Poetry) The road of a weary traveler... [73 words]
Truth About Love (Poetry) A harsh reality. [67 words]
Unconciously Wanting (Poetry) Wanting unconciously to reveal.. [108 words]
Washing Away The Pain (Poetry) Dedicated to a girl who has recently come into my life and has already made such a difference. [70 words]
Watcher (Poetry) Watching.... [42 words]
Watching Madness. (Poetry) Gazing into that which defies sanity.... [48 words]
Welcome To A New Tomorrow (Poetry) Love the grandest of delusions... [111 words]
Where Does It Go? (Poetry) Indeed where to? [71 words]
Why You Never Loved Me... (Poetry) The minimal doubt that existed, that was magnified by the way things went.. [105 words]
Words Written (Poetry) Read the words written... [55 words]
Should Have Would Have, Could Have Been
Alberto Pupo

   Night, simply a thing of sheer beauty. Yet

it brings only tears to my eyes sorrow and regret.

The letter said she still loved me, and deep inside

there exists a minor spark of passion, problem

is she has found someone else who now stirs her heart

and revs the proverbial engine. Trying to hold back

tears my hands trembling uncontrollably clenching

my fists tightly, trying to make sense of the whole

situation. I had made every possible effort to please her

fulfill her, both physically and emotionally, I too

felt pleased and fulfilled there existed a beautiful

bond. That is until he arrived, the one who now stirs her heart

and gives her a new sense of passion, the type of passion

she once had for me, at one given point.

  "He is caring he is gentle he undestands me like

no one else can not to mention I could feel the

sexual vibe quite strongly." this is what she wrote,

the man of her newly created dreams from just

about a week ago, her new Messiah her one true

Savior. A strange yearning to go on a homicidal

rampage entered my mind, if for the briefest of moments

I'm usually a man of peace and tranquility, but this

is too much for me to bear. If I ever see that

bastard it will be his blood on my hands, but what

can I do, all that must be done is put that artificial

smile and wish her the best of luck, then those

thoughts making me insane, vile images of a

yuppie son of a bitch, fucking her with a smile

on his face, putting on airs bout how he conquered

in this realm of Social Darwinism.

  Bah! I'll find others or so they say, but

what can you do when you are physically unappealing,

and just a little too counterculture for your own

good. No one can ever understand me like she

did, at times we were of the same thought......

Why must I continue to dwell on this, I promised not

to, but every time I look at the picture laying

on top of the desk, it chokes me up to near tears.

Yes I'M sensitive fluff with no direction,

and as I'm speaking I'm still unable to pull

the trigger. My hand is trembling sweat is

pouring down my face and yet I do not hear the

call of sweet oblivion, the welcome to darkness.

Maybe I should just put the gun down, and forge

ahead, forget this awful day, burn the letter in

hottest of infernal fires. There are othewrs out there

who can appreciate it somone like me, a loser,

a failure, one whose heart is riddled with scars.

 Yet why can't I let go, is because there existed a pure

and genuine love. Is it because the pain gnaws at

me and happiness has completely fled the mind.

Is it because I'm a coward? Afraid to face

reality.... she never loved me, her along with

those who came before. Phantoms that even though I

have removed somewhat still haunt me, and have

now returned to the forefront.

Why am I still speaking? Why am I hear you say?

Pull the trigger already you son of a bitch we tire

of your ridiculous rants. Yes I guess its the

fear and doubt that holds me back, I guess its the

struggle for self preservation.................




It was the most painful thing I have ever read,

to relive the last moments of his insanity.

I cared for him greatly, and then I guess the caring stopped,

and so there went his sanity, and everything else.

I'm going through such horrible pain, I feel

somewhat responsible for everything that has occured.

True that this new man did treat me well, but

he did not compare, he did treat me the same way,

I guess I based my decision on lust at the time,

and now I live in regret. And now reading his final

will and testament to this world. I realized the nature

of my mistake, and I've lost him I lost my one

true love forever.

 

READER'S REVIEWS (2)
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"Oh, good lord.... get over it" -- Bitch.
"And why don't you review the content of the story rather than throwing personal jabs.... You tell me to get over things but why don't you get over yourself and gain some maturity you need a lot of that." -- Albert(author), Miami, Usa, Florida.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2002 Alberto Pupo
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
February 2002
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1790
 

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