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The Unfortunate Homophobe
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TITLE (EDIT)
The Unfortunate Homophobe
DESCRIPTION
An interspective on a homophobe who wishes he wasn't, and some ideas and opinions on homosexuality.
[1,131 words]
TITLE KEYWORD
Gay & Lesbian
AUTHOR
Crazy Clown
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Proud founder and president of Crazy Clown Productions (c)
[October 2000]
AUTHOR'S OTHER TITLES (10)
Dragonball Z - Akira Toryama's Drug Trip? (Essays) An essay worthy of the label of Crazy Clown, about the sheer ludicrousnessness of Dragonball Z. [989 words] [Humor]
Some Explanation Is In Order (Essays) You might come to this title expecting a deep, philosophical, or thought-provoking story; instead, you get this! It is an explanation of my rather unique writing style, by Crazy Clown. [447 words] [Humor]
The Demented Monologue Of A Downright Imbecile (Essays) Another display of foolishness and inanity, from the one who can do them best, Crazy Clown. Requires an altered state of mind to fully enjoy. [1,246 words] [Humor]
The Insane Ramblings Of A Complete Idiot (Short Stories) An essay on the insane ramblings of a complete idiot. Written by a complete idiot. Requires an altered state of mind to properly enjoy. [1,090 words] [Humor]
The Muse Keeps On (Short Stories) A tale of the joys and sufferings of the muse... [1,006 words] [Writing Resource]
The Test (Short Stories) My first publishing-worthy (at least I hope) short story, on the topic of what religion is, was, and what may become... [1,118 words] [Spiritual]
The Vaporeal Defecation Of A Mental Diarrheatic (Essays) I just had so much fun writing the other two displays of inanity that I just had to write a third. Depending on how much you like my works, this could be either wonderful or horrifying, your choice. -... [951 words] [Humor]
Vanquished (Short Stories) Death, Revenge, Death. Misery has gone full circle. [894 words] [Action]
Well, Shit (Essays) A rather... interesting essay on the worlds worst waste. Requires a unique state of mind to enjoy properly. [1,020 words] [Humor]
Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! (Short Stories) When did being almost right, but still showing inderstanding of the question, be considered completely wrong? Wouldn't it be better to be smart then to simply be able to memorize? [566 words] [Mind]
The Unfortunate Homophobe
Crazy Clown

     Faggot. Gay. Homo. Fruit. Queer. Pixie. Heterosexually challenged. Freak. All of these
words, and more, have been used in modern times to describe one of the strangest manifestations of human social evolution, or, as some may put it, social degradation. The word homosexual is of Latin root, homo meaning same, and sexual of obvious meaning.
     The word homophobia, and the corresponding homophobe, is related, being defined as the fear, or more commonly accepted as intense disgust, of homosexuals. All of this common knowledge, and the occurrence condition, as much of a disease to some as homosexuality itself to others, is increasing at an even rate to the condition it fears. To put it simply, there are more and more fruits, and more and more homophobes.
     Why? What has happened in modern times to increase both the counts of homo- and bisexuals and those who fear them? Is it the rising acceptance of liberal and unprecedented behavior as socially "normal"? Surely the much-ridiculed rise to fame of "politically correct" terms which help nobody but try (key word: try) to offend none has been a contributing factor. American society has become portrayed as an eclectic
collection of random cultures, each trying their best to not offend anybody else, really creating a stronger wall between them, a wall of false sincerity. Of course, many have accepted the increasing minorities, including the focus of this essay, and this could be seen as a positive change for society as a whole. Males are far more likely to develop the disgust of fags, while women, the more open-minded half of the population, are far more likely to support the underdog. I, however, and many others, mostly other men, that are like me wish that this were not quite so.
     I say this, and yet you look to the title, "The Unfortunate Homophobe", and think
I am contradicting myself. Well, in a way, I am. I am admitting that I am thoroughly disgusted by homosexuals, yet am promoting tolerance and acceptance. This is less of a self-denial then at first glance. Many of my friends and acquaintances are pro-gay, or at the very least indifferent. I try to not show my distaste openly, but it becomes more and more difficult to do so as more and more of these rightful outcasts (I apologize- my "closed-mindedness" is showing. Is there a pill or a patch for that?) push themselves into the spotlight, begging for attention, asking for us to form an opinion of them that may have otherwise been left undecided, and, therefore tolerant.
     A few weeks before writing this, I visited NYU, a great college, incredibly well equipped and orchestrated, with... well, I digress. Leaving one of the dormitories, I see a "pro-diversity" board with different insulting phrases against homophobes. Who is worse; those who outcast a group, or those who exile the rejecters? But they are only trying to defend what they see as a helpless minority, and I can not help but to sympathize. It is only my natural distaste and disgust that keeps me from joining their ranks (ugh... the ranks of the supporters, not the queers themselves... sorry for the confusion).
     I was not always so appalled by the "other people." While I was always slightly unnerved, due to my religious upbringing (something to be discussed later), I was teased, bullied, and thoroughly harassed by a group of jack-asses on my old swim team. As you may have guessed, the entire team, coaches excluded, had me labeled as a fruit. Despite my strongest attempts to dissuade them, I was exiled to an existence of silent suffering. I, being young and emotionally unstable, cried myself to sleep many times, rather
embarrassing now, but a sign of my extreme outcastnessness, to coin a term. I quit that team, with severe emotional scars, and a brand new phobia. It may not seem that what had happened was such a horrible fate, but believe me, it was the worst time of my life. Ever.
     Since then, I have had an extreme aversion to all things queer, and by association became utterly disgusted with the practitioners themselves. I have lived this way, shying away from all those who fit my specific bill of pixieness, not truly realizing the result of
my actions. Not only was I committing the same crime that I had suffered so greatly from, but I was also, in a way, promoting the behavior itself. Those who were actually "different" were encouraged to rebel against their "oppressors" in such a way to will others to join them. Those who weren't of that group, poor souls, must be feeling the same horrific distress that I had felt. Only by writing this could I have ever hoped to understand exactly what they are going through, and to quickly stop and possibly reverse
my actions by assuring those whom I have teased to know that I was only kidding.**
     However, the scars left behind in my life still tug and will me not to reverse my actions
too far, to encourage them, or to (and I shudder) bring upon myself the label of a fruit, and be exiled again.
     Finally, I bring myself to write upon the extremely controversial topic of religion and homosexuality. As far as religion is concerned, I am both completely right and terribly wrong in my actions. I acknowledged the disgusting sin (a word that brings skepticism to many a listener. I blame the politically correct movement for making such words unacceptable, for fear of offending a person of another religion, or those lacking one) that they commit. Then I realize that many people commit far worse sins every day, and that I am singling out this particular, rather disgusting sin for another reason. Also, it is taught in most religions the lesson of tolerance and acceptance of other people, stranger people, who live different lifestyles. I have reached the point where I am sitting on the fence, not a very comfortable position, I assure you, where I am disgusted by and yet somewhat tolerating homosexuality.
     And yet, through all this, I still shudder with loathing at the thought of a man and a man... ugh... it is the thing of nightmares. Finally comes the kicker, the unexpected yet
always suspected, the part of my argument that totally defeats everything I have said before in this essay. I, only a poor, human male, susceptible to all of the frailties and affects of hormones, have a far less disgusted opinion of lesbians in the act.
     Alas, such are the conflicts of the male homophobe.

     **Anthony, Byron, the guy at the women's clothing store, Jennifer (especially Jennifer!),
and everybody else, I am really, really, really sorry! I don't actually think you are gay,
honest!

     Your humble servant who will one day overthrow you,
          Crazy Clown

 

READER'S REVIEWS (13)
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"Hmmm... I don't like this essay too much. It reminds me too much of the mentioned experience, and also of the just disgusting thought of homosexuals... but that is discussed in the essay itself." -- Crazy Clown.
"Everyone is entitled to their opinions, though if you are making any kind of argument for homosexuals, dont use degrading nicknames. Thats low. Secondly, the Church is hypocritical, so those who decide their platforms based on the Church follow suit. Just something to think about." -- Meg.
"You have excellent writing ability. I found this essay more interesting than some of your other "kinky" humor. PC is a superficial attempt to raise the self esteem of members of sub-cultures and minorities and makes use of more benign, "cosmetic" terms to describe aberrant behavior. Homophobe is not even in the dictionary. It was invented by the homosexual community to blanket the attitudes of those disgusted by such behavior. The "phobe" part indictes "fear of." I have no fear of gays. I merely think they're freaks. Even the word tolerance has been expanded by the PC brigade. It's original definition is "a recognition or respect of others whose behavior or beliefs differ from the norm." Today, tolerance means acceptance, something they will never get from me. The PC liberals demonstrate their hypocracy by insisting that I tolerate and accept the behavior of others, but they will not "tolerate" my right to disapprove of their behavior. The homosexual writer/producer influence has gone overboard in its portrayal of gays and lesbians in sit-coms and the way lifestyles of celebrity homosexuals are revered. They are depicted as the most gifted, creative group of people on earth. Like they are the truly "special" ones and it is an honor to have this "vocation." Unfortunately, I think there are a lot a very young kids getting this message, which is perhaps, their ultimate agenda." -- Dick Koss.
"First, Meg- Thank you for your review. I could always use another perspective and some positive criticism. However, some of that wasn't too positive. Just because you consider religion to be hypocritical doesn't mean all agree. Koss- Thank you kindly for your informative review. Your vision of the horrors of "PC-ness" was exactly what I was trying to portray in the essay, along with some form of "do as I say, not as I do"-ishness. As to your last sentence, it does seem a bit conspiratorial, but it makes sense in a way. Thank you both." -- Crazy Clown.
"Clown-I agree. Adding an "In my opinion" before my review would have cut down on the negativity. Sorry about that." -- Meg.
"On the contrary, I apologize for taking an opinion too seriously. I am sure you weren't trying to meaningly insult me, but to give me constructive criticism." -- Crazy Clown.
"I'm pro-gay rights. Extremely. I don't think they're freaks. I don't think they (most of the time) choose to be gay, as much as I didn't choose to be straight. No one chooses who they fall in love with, Koss. I didn't read the essay, but if it's just gay-bashing, I don't think I want to. :-\" -- Bennett.
"To Bennett: Well duh! I am not surprised that you can't read. You really shouldn't try to write and you can't help that you evolved from a monkey either. To Crazy Clown: I believe these mixed feelings are prevalent in our ever increasing requirements to become politically correct. Thanks. " -- Kate.
"To some of the critics: First, In my opinion, the Church is not hypocritical, it just has a hard time being on the unpopular side of a cultural subject. It stands firmly with Jesus and the Bible: Hate the sin not the sinner. Also, don't critique if you don't read the essay! You say you want to stop the ignorance in the world yet don't view the other side's opionion, the very definition of hypocrisy! To Crazy Clown: good essay, PC has gotten WAY out of hand, and I stand firm on your views." -- Justin Sands, Mt. Airy, N.C., USA.
"Thanks to every single reviewer, kind or not so, for your helpful advice and opinions. Eventually, I hope to write another essay on my newest opinion and reactions to homosexuality. I can only wish for understanding." -- Crazy Clown.
"Try this for religion: www.godhatesfags.com" -- Jenny.
"This is a truly repulsive attempt to justify your ignorance and bigotry. At least you seem to acknowledge how selective people are in which sections of the Bible they still consider "relevant"." -- Peter Rivendell.
"Rivendell immediately resorts to a childish, defensive ploy used by most liberals when they refuse to debate or acknowledge those who disagree with them. They begin by attacking the author's logic not with facts or reasoning, but by lashing out with labels such as "ignorance and bigotry." Extremely popular words from their arsenal of attack words where one size fits all. Just keep using them over and over to shut up your adversaries. This is a classic example of the hypocrisy of liberals. Yes, Rivendell, I mean you. You can run away but you can't hide. " -- Richard.

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COPYRIGHT NOTICE
© 2000 Crazy Clown
STORYMANIA PUBLICATION DATE
October 2000
NUMBER OF TIMES TITLE VIEWED
1533
 

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